The right way of flirting
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AligatorKS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
They just don’t taste right!
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gacha_gurlOwO
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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he’s right!
πŸ‘︎ 569
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Constitutional rights at stake.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatguykeith
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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You're damn right it will
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/giftsamuel_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to add a pun here but can't think of any right now
πŸ‘︎ 143
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firelord2620
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
The right to bear arms
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Z-3-R-0-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

πŸ‘︎ 212
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rparry40
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Get your physics right
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kanamuna24
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Merve right here
πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YolkyBoii
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
r/NatureIsFuckingLit, right?
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OctoBear87
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
To prove he was right, the "flat earther" walked to the end of the Earth

He eventually came around

πŸ‘︎ 301
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Little miss muffet had the right of whey
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kuma_Paws_376
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I met my wife in Korea. I knew right away..

She was my Seoul mate.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jay-overthinks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do people from the alt right only eat fresh food?

- Because they hate left overs

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rubenmiq
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
"Dad, can you do my math homework for me?" I chuckled, "No son, it wouldn't be right." He sighed...

"Well, at least you could try."

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I was trying to form a Fleetwood Mac cover band, but couldn't get the vocalist just right...

I had to Nicks that idea.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I was driving absentmindedly and my wife suddenly said, β€œHey, you missed a right!”

I said, β€œThanks babe. You Mrs. Right!”

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What's happening in Washington right now needs a name

I propose we call it the "Chicken Coup"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scamperly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Did this painting for my friend (far right) who is a huge Pittsburgh steelers fan. His favorite player is Troy Polamalu... And he likes puns. That's me in the middle.l in my favorite jumper. Thoughts??? reddit.com/gallery/kkbp9y
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smike1981
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Well I walked right into that one didn't I
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollybomb57
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I only like two deodorants, Sure and Right Guard

Feel free to disagree, that’s just my two scents.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/toby-carvery-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife was fighting me about doing our kitchen in granite or laminate. She finally told me that we just can’t afford granite right now.

I have to admit... it was a pretty good counter argument.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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Right of passage!
πŸ‘︎ 469
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gazHC
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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I think Harry would like an order of wings right about now...
πŸ‘︎ 460
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πŸ‘€︎ u/horrorhoney
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My barista didn’t filter my coffee right. I issued her a restraining order.
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/golubeerji
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about Apple buying the rights to Bambi?

They'll use it for the launch of the new iFawn.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AFMDX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The first time I saw her, at her honey stall at the farmers market, I knew right away...

...she was a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hover-lovecraft
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
If you cut your right butt cheek...

Are you left behind?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hosuabii
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What happens if you don't look at things from the right angle?

You might find find yourself looking at a slippery slope.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't think about buying any stupid pure freshly squeezed juice right now.

I need to concentrate.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirateahoj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
He's right you know
πŸ‘︎ 114
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't think Marine Biology is the right major for me.

My grades are below C-level

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
You know what they say about picking the right species of Christmas Tree?

It's a huge Pine in the Ash

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TangerineX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Technically right
πŸ‘︎ 136
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loot98
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
"You wanna cook the pasta right,"

"Or I'll-dente my teeth."

Brought to you by my dad.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarmaOkami
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Iceberg! Right ahead!
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aliciab12
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my daughter when she was whining to me about her new boyfriend... β€˜Don’t complain about the road you’re on right now’

That’s your own asphalt

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superto3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My 11 year old and I were coming out of a store and someone just parked right next to our car.

She said. Our cars aren’t social distancing! You don’t want them to get ...CARona virus do you?

Proud moment.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the Inventor of hand sanitizer doing right now?

Rubbing his hands

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chriller1122
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear of the poor chap who lost his Right buttocks in an accident?

All his best days are now left behind.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ojohn69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The public pool sector must be taking a real dive right now
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ruzenu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
You got that right
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The greatest baseball player ever was a guy named Hugh McBealy, and he was most famous for every single time he came to the plate knocking the ball high over right field and into the stands.

He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.

He earned the nickname β€œthe machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.

And the day he retired a reporter asked him β€œHow does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”

Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. β€œWhat do you mean?” He said.

The reporter clarified β€œliterally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”

Hugh looked dejected and disappointed β€œyeah, my greatest failure...”

β€œWhat do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.

Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.

β€œI’ve been aiming left this whole time”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frnklfrwsr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandad used to say "If it wasn't for me, you'd all be speaking German right now" Lovely man, terribly bad foreign language teacher.

No idea why the school hired him.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
"Confucius Says...War doesn't determine who is right. War determines who is left."
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me something smells

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sageyban
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
If you cut off your left hand, your right hand will be left.
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/araitisaname
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report

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