If you cut off your left hand, your right hand will be left.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/araitisaname
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the Inventor of hand sanitizer doing right now?

Rubbing his hands

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chriller1122
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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I broke 2 fingers on my right hand today

On the other hand everything is OK.

Happy Fathers Day everybody

πŸ‘︎ 145
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanadianTrainFan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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The baby sheep got out of their pen and I impulsively grabbed a sheep with my right hand and a sheep with my left...

I guess I'm just lambidextrous...

I'll show y'all to the door.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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I accidentally cut off my right hand today

I don't feel right

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plane_Garbage
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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If you cut your left hand, your right hand will be left.

Similar to... cutting both your left arm and leg makes you alright...

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hzardous_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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The doctor cut off both my right hand and my right leg

So with no rights im practically a woman

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hot_dwag
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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I’m debating whether to write β€œYES” on my left hand and β€œNO” on my right hand.

I mean, on the one hand, yes, but on the other hand, no.

πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrgeekXD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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What do you have if you have a snowball in your right and a snowball in your left hand?

Frosty's full and undivided attention!

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeerBearBar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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You have to hand it to the person who thought up the "I'd give my right hand to be ambidextrous" joke ...

And I imagine you wouldn't have much left if you'd foot the bill for infringement of copy'right'.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Student with a cast on his arm walks in to class and says β€œI can’t write with my right hand today.”

I ask, can you left with your left hand?

Many students gave me props for the dad joke. One student said I sound like their dad. While I have no kids of my own, I’m glad I get to practice my dad jokes on my students.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrono116
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
and If she cuts her left hand her right hand is left...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yugvijay
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I once tried to vault a bin, but my hands went right in.

I felt rubbish.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/judansuki
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
For deer hunting do you use your right hand or left hand to pull the trigger?

Either or, I'm bambidextrous.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thevectorvictor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I burnt my left hand just before a test, but luckily I don't right with it.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lost1010
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you have if you have 3 oranges and 4 apples in your left hand and 4 oranges and 3 apples in your right hand?

Big hands

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuddaMudda
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2017
🚨︎ report
There was once a race of people with no right hands, arm legs or feet. We have no trace of them today because...

they left.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joeisthinking
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2014
🚨︎ report
Well, on the one hand your right,

and on the other, your left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InfernoBourne
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What can you hold in your left hand that you can't hold in your right hand?

Your right hand

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πŸ‘€︎ u/98whitewings
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
On the other hand, the left glove is the right one.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
🚨︎ report

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