Justly Puns

As a big proponent of the dadjoke I want to argue that a dadjoke is not just a pun. I see lots of material submitted here that might be better suited for /r/punny.

Speaking as a dad, for me a classic dad joke is highly dependent on the context.

I can't whip out old standbys at any moment and call them proper dadjokes. If I'm driving my kid to school I can't just ask him "Hey, do you know why the kids couldn't see the pirate movie? It was rated aaarrrgh!". That's just a bad joke.

OTOH, if my kid says "are" kinda funny (which he has before), and I make a joke about him being the youngest pirate I know (I may or may not have done this before), then that's a dadjoke. A shitty one, but still a dadjoke. The best context ones are where a situation presents itself and the dad takes the opportunity to make the lame joke (as in a post from awhile back where the OP overheard three or four dads make almost the exact same joke at an aquarium).

Straight up puns should go to /r/punny. Context specific jokes which rely on vagaries of the language or the funny situation, should stay here.

Just my two cents worth.

Serious question. I'm a dad, and I have several long-running jokes with my kids.

E.g., there's a "radiator monster" in the basement. Yeah, that knocking sound when we turn the steam up in the morning. Well, my eldest is getting smarter and smarter, but he still can't refute my claim that there is such a monster. Because he's not yet aware of the actual cause of the knocking/banging.

So, he's unsure!

This is a good Dad-joke, no?

"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."

Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.

A whim away, a whim away, a whim away

I call him Dr. Awkward

I’m on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.

..they make me feel even number.

I wonder what she’s up to now.

I said, “Who is this guy?”

My grandfather: That’s my hip replacement.

My thoughts are with his family.

They say it’s a blast from the past!

*credit to my 9 year old daughter

She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beer….

EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! ❤️

Told him to use both and he’d probably find him a lot quicker.

That’s not a good sign.

I think she is in love with me.

It's night.

They said it was grounds for termination.

But on the plus side, it still works.

They asked me to please Hold. 💎🤲

That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

He's currently in the ICU.

The steaks have never been so high…

Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.

Cop: "Do you think I am stupid ? I can see you through the window."

Mee: "You are not coming in."

Cop: "I don't want to come in. I want you to step out of your car !!"

I have no egrets.

..or am I just a terrible Teacher ?

De-calf-inated!

Edit: it's been pointed out some people pronounce calf as cālf, so its taking a second. Pronounce it like decaffeinated coffee.

Best trade ever.

..that I can pull it off.

it has a bit of veneer missing.

RIP

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean

"... BODY once told me..."

Poor guy.

That crepèd up on me.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.

[removed]

Hmm...the plot thickens

A hammer.

The mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says “I don’t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.” The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, “whatever this costs I’m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and I’m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says “there’s no charge.” Shocked she replies “no really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.” “Honestly ma’am”, the mortician says, “it costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.”

The lumberjack stepped back and said, "really? well, you'll die a log."

I keep telling them, "No it doesn't!"

How long do you think it will take him to put his cabinet together?

Poor bastard.