People act like the North and South poles are exactly the same
...but really, thereβs a whole world of differences between them.
π︎ 42
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
My wife weighs exactly 300.00 lb.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs...
π︎ 22
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
What, exactly, is a fart?
A lonely cry from an abandoned turd.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
My Sherlock Holmes themed Monopoly board is exactly 12 inches
π︎ 35
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
My dad knows exactly where everything is located in the store.
I am impressed with his shelf confidence.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
What exactly is Beethoven doing in his grave ?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
Exactly!
π︎ 83
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14m long
a π-thon
π︎ 64
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
Exactly 50% of Roger Federerβs name is βerβ!
Thatβs it, thatβs the joke! ;)
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 20 2020
Painting my ceiling isn't exactly #1 on my priority list.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Sep 30 2020
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
My uncle is really good at fishing. He always knows exactly what kind of worm to put on his fishing hook, in order to catch the desired kind of fish.
One might say he is a master baiter.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
You know that theory about no two people see colours exactly the same way...
Surely it's a pigment of their imagination ?
π︎ 69
π
︎ Jul 07 2020
What exactly makes a joke a dad joke?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
Due to social distancing, everyone is asking Kim Jung Un how far six feet is Exactly!
Because he is the supreme ruler.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 13 2020
As a lumberjack, I know that Iβve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Oct 07 2019
Did you know there are exactly 239 beans in Irish stew?
Any more and it would be two farty...
π︎ 786
π
︎ Mar 08 2020
I still remember exactly where I was when I found out how JFK died.
Sitting at home, reading his Wikipedia page.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jun 09 2020
Holmes and Watson are creeping stealthy along the Street, searching for clues, when Holmes suddenly spots a Bakery shop window and scans it with his magnifying glass. Watson perplexed, says to Sherlock " What are you looking for exactly ? " ...Holmes replies...
" You know my method. It's founded upon the observation of Trifles. "
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 29 2020
Not exactly what the doctor ordered
π︎ 59
π
︎ Mar 22 2020
The 'i' of the hurricane is exactly at the center of the word
π︎ 14
π
︎ Apr 13 2020
Iβll tell you exactly why the rioters attacked that store...
because it was a big target
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 30 2020
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, βWhat exactly happened before The Big Bang?β
He said, βSorry. No time.β
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Mar 30 2019
I own a restaurant. My chef knows exactly when to add spices to any meal...
π︎ 12
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
What do you call a snake thatβs exactly 3.14 meters long?
π︎ 30
π
︎ Mar 19 2020
You need exactly 239 beans to make Irish soup because if you add one more it becomes too farty.
π︎ 210
π
︎ Oct 25 2019
Within minutes, the detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Dec 04 2018
There was no internet in the Roman empire. Nobody knows what exactly happened during then.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 17 2020
Scientists have determined exactly what will spell the end of the world
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 26 2019
Exactly.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Sep 27 2019
Thatβs what exactly happened every time I tried to reach out for love
π︎ 47
π
︎ Jul 13 2019
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 03 2020
As a lumberjack, I know that Iβve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comβ¦
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 07 2019
It's been very busy at work and everyone is stress eating. A lot of us are snacking on Doritos and I know exactly why
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 20 2019
So I used to know a really good dad joke but I donβt remember exactly how it went.
If only I could remember where I Reddit.
(Please donβt judge too harshly this is my first dad joke and my first post on a big subreddit)
π︎ 46
π
︎ Aug 23 2019
My laziness is exactly like the number 8
If it lays down, it becomes infinite
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 18 2019
I can see exactly what will happen next year
Because I have 2020 vision.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jun 22 2019
My brother and I are very competitive at work but exactly alike. What takes me 3 months to complete, my brother . . .
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 22 2019
Using exactly 12" of duct tape to fix a leaking pipe is a Stop-Gap Measure
Duct tape used for everything, including puns
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 05 2019
To who exactly?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 26 2019
As a lumberjack, I know that Iβve cut exactly 2,417 trees.
I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Aug 25 2018
As a lumberjack, I know that Iβve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
π︎ 183
π
︎ Nov 07 2019
As a lumberjack, I know that Iβve cut exactly 2,417 trees.
I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
π︎ 85
π
︎ Jul 01 2019
As a lumberjack, I know that I've cut exactly 3,141 trees.
I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
π︎ 56
π
︎ Aug 14 2019
I found a snake that was exactly 3.14 meters long
I think it was a Pi-thon.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jun 24 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
