Mathematical puns related to burglars?

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π€︎ u/Xeram_
π︎ Jan 30 2021
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Puns leave me numb. Mathematical puns leave me number.
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π€︎ u/xjohnnyxleex
π︎ Sep 02 2019
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What do you get when you cross a milking animal and a mathematical device?

A Cowculator.

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π€︎ u/potato_fish12
π︎ Nov 26 2020
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What mathematical operation do the French despise?
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π€︎ u/octalgon
π︎ Nov 16 2020
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Did yiu know a major mathematical discovery was made when trying to put music online?

They tries to Log a Rhythm.

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π€︎ u/Bunytou
π︎ Aug 18 2020
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A mathematical analysis is in order....
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π€︎ u/Savings_Cattle
π︎ May 27 2020
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A mathematical dadjoke, hope you like this.

A pie without 3.14159265359 is just a 2.7182818284. Have a good day.

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π€︎ u/Siddharth_7
π︎ Dec 01 2019
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Went to mathematical restaurant today.

Ordered a takeaway

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π€︎ u/kishenoy
π︎ Dec 07 2019
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Mathematical proof that it pays to be dumb

power = work / time

but...

knowledge = power

and

time = money

so, substituting...

knowledge = work / money

solving for money...

money = work / knowledge

The less you know, the more money you make, regardless of how much work you do.

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π€︎ u/JBaczuk
π︎ Sep 20 2019
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How to make a seven even without doing any mathematical equations

You remove the S

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π︎ Jul 31 2019
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What do you call a mathematical reptile?

A calculator

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π€︎ u/SuspicionCabbage
π︎ Jun 01 2018
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It's a mathematical fact that women are evil.

women= time Γ money.

Now, we all know that time= money.

So,

women = money Γ money = money^2

And everybody knows that money is the root of all evil:

money = β(evil)

So...

women = [βevil)]^2 = evil

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π€︎ u/roguebuckeye
π︎ Apr 04 2018
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What is probably the least friendly mathematical concept?

The mean!

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π€︎ u/eric67
π︎ Dec 02 2016
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What do you call the beat to which a vice president dances while solving complex mathematical equations?

An Al Gore-rhythm

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π€︎ u/ImurderREALITY
π︎ Oct 21 2014
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Mathematical (Geometry) joke: What did the pirate say when his parrot flew away?

Polygon!

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π€︎ u/Orphanclone
π︎ Nov 07 2013
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Most puns make me feel numb. But mathematics puns make me feel number.
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π€︎ u/VonSwab
π︎ Mar 14 2020
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Mathematics pun
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π€︎ u/RDHertsUni
π︎ Aug 02 2018
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Reading all these posts makes me go numb...

But reading mathematics puns makes me go even number

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π€︎ u/WonderfulComment
π︎ Dec 13 2019
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ah mathematics
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π€︎ u/thebetteroobryoob
π︎ Jun 23 2020
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Numbers, broβ¦
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π€︎ u/KaiswPlays05
π︎ Mar 03 2021
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I almost got a double major in Mathematics and Agriculture

...but I couldn't pass cowculus.

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π€︎ u/PapaMammatus
π︎ Oct 05 2020
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What area of mathematics are farm animals proficient?

Cowculus

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π€︎ u/CaptainMoist23
π︎ Sep 21 2020
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What is the difference between a radius and a diameter?

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π€︎ u/angrysandclock
π︎ Jan 16 2021
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The horse that came first isnβt mathematically inclined.

It doesnβt count in the first place.

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π€︎ u/keychainoi
π︎ Sep 01 2020
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My tree is very smart. At its current age, it understands all branches of mathematics. But when it was just a little sapling...

It only knew twigonometry

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π€︎ u/-taco-rice-
π︎ Jun 09 2020
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I have a serious question...

So imagine you are transexual but suddenly one day you decide to stop being it. Then you are Trans former?

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π€︎ u/Blaset
π︎ Jan 30 2021
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Mathematically speaking biotech is almost 70% bitch
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π€︎ u/tidduu
π︎ Jul 26 2019
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Mathematically, if you commit 90 sins, you only get caught half the time.

sin 90 = cot 45

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π€︎ u/porichoygupto
π︎ Oct 04 2018
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I found the perfect way to compliment my kids using mathematics

U =QTΟ

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π€︎ u/Jetty_Boy
π︎ Apr 15 2019
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How are trees in Minecraft mathematically sound?

Because they got them square roots.

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π€︎ u/shinotheshino
π︎ Mar 18 2019
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I recently visited my Doctor who happened to have a degree in mathematics for my blue balls

He simply said "Circumference" but unfortunately it didn't help me resolve my issue...

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π€︎ u/MundieR
π︎ Feb 25 2019
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What is the most exaggerated thing in mathematics?

Hyperbola.

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π€︎ u/The_Jokster
π︎ Aug 02 2018
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What is an isotope's favorite mathematic expression?

Poly-nomials

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π€︎ u/fluffyglof
π︎ Sep 10 2018
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What's the difference between a scientific cylinder and a mathematic cylinder?

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π€︎ u/VoxelGamerHD
π︎ Feb 07 2018
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What do you call a fair, average, mathematics teacher?

Just Mean!

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π︎ Aug 26 2017
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So my dad and I are talking one night during dinner and I let slip that my nickname in school is tangent. Then the following ensues Dad : Oh really? Well do you know who Satan's cousin is? Me : No. Dad : SaCOSINE! Me : Wait.... NOOOOO DAD NO.

He continued laughing hysterically for a good 10 minutes after.

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π€︎ u/tangentofV
π︎ Jun 20 2015
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Why can't desalinization be explained mathematically?

When the water evaporates, there is no longer any solution.

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π︎ Feb 15 2016
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How can mathematics be real if our i's aren't real?
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π€︎ u/Natehoop
π︎ Feb 27 2014
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I'm going to teach my baby advanced mathematics

So it can derive it's own formula

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π€︎ u/Twigsnapper
π︎ Oct 21 2016
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Watching the NOVA on mathematics

I responded, "It is not supposed to be rational."

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π€︎ u/macx333
π︎ Apr 19 2015
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There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator

only a fraction of people will get this joke

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π€︎ u/Talcabus
π︎ Jan 04 2019
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Ζ(x)=e^x and Ζ(x)=ln(x) walk into a party.

ln(x) chats it up and has a great time, but e^x stands against a wall.

βWhat's the matter?β ln(x) asks e^x.

βI'm nervous about integrating,β replies e^x, shyly covering its face.

βOh, that's simple,β ln(x) replies. βJust be yourself.β

lol calculus

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π€︎ u/thefizzynator
π︎ Mar 23 2017
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Last night I told our middle son that he was the meanest child of our three boys

I was the only one in the car who laughed.

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π€︎ u/h3fabio
π︎ Dec 07 2018
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Did you know a major mathematical discovery was made when trying to put music online?

They tried to Log a Rhythm!

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π€︎ u/Bunytou
π︎ Aug 18 2020
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Why do I do this to myself?

Puns make me feel numb. Mathematical puns make me number.

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π︎ Apr 28 2021
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Reading all these puns makes me go numb...

But reading mathematics puns makes me go number

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π€︎ u/scruffyfat
π︎ Mar 26 2019
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While most puns make me feel numb,

Mathematics puns always make me feel number.

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π€︎ u/MonkeysLikeApples
π︎ Mar 14 2019
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