A list of puns related to "Calculus"

I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus

but graphing is where I draw the line

I made the mistake of having a beer while doing my calculus homework last night...

I got in trouble for drinking and deriving.

Never take a calculus exam when you are sitting next to two identical twins.

Itβs really hard to differentiate between them.

Whatβs the single form of calculus?

Calculme.

Only Calculus Peeps Will Understand

I believe it is absolutely nessesery to teach our childer calculus.

It's an integral part of education.

My calculus professor was 16 minutes late for the first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third.

At this rate, he will never be there on time.

Just taught my 6yr old calculus and advanced physics. Amazing what kids can learn.

Which happens to be jack shit.

Why donβt calculus majors party?

Because they can not drink and derive

If you are taking a calculus exam, donβt sit between two identical twins.

Itβs very difficult to differentiate between them.

When God integrated Planet Earth, he didnβt forget his integral calculus lesson.

He remembered to add the sea.

My maths teacher started throwing wordplay in calculus problems, I guess it is

A problem of Ex-pun-ential order

Newton: I've discovered calculus(1664)

Leibneiz: I've discovered calculus(1670s) Newton: Really? Seems derivative.

Came up with this in calculus class

A calculus professor explains an example problem to her class.

"To do this, you need to find the initial position of the object."

A confused student asks, "y?"

"yβ," says the professor.

Calculus Teacher: Itβs not the Uncle Derivative.

Itβs the Auntie Derivative.

In college i thought General Calculus was a Roman war hero

You might think my calculus jokes are derivative, but theyβre an integral part of me.

My Calculus Professor is having a tough time adjusting to retired life.

He canβt seem to deal with the aftermath.

I named my penis calculus

Cause Ill never use it in my life.

Being good at calculus in your later life is like...

...the after-math

What did the calculus professor name his newborn son?

Mathew

They said Calculus would be integral to my education

but I found it a little derivative

Calculus professor asked why he should curve the grades to our test.

I said, "It's a calc class, I guess you could say **curves** are **integral** to our class."

Groans filled the room. I laughed hysterically.

Not-really-new but improved calculus joke

f(x)=e^x and f(x)=ln(x) walk into a party. After a while, ln(x) is chatting everyone up and having a great time, while e^x is leaning on the wall and sulking. ln(x) asks eΛ£ what's wrong, and e^x says βI'm nervous about integrating.β ln(x) replies: βOh, it's simple, just be yourself and see.β

The gift my calculus teacher gives to each student every year

The things I come up with in calculus

If you want to major in calculus...

the sky is the "limit"...

First day of calculus summer session today...

(Right before I leave)

Mom:Be safe driving over there

Me: Ok, Mom

Dad: Be safe deriving over there

Me: Goddamnit

I started doing calculus today

My understanding is limited

I wrote two full pages of working out for my Calculus class...

Seems like Calcumore to me!

You can actually do calculus under the influence

you just need to know your limits.

My calculus teacher had a lisp, but he was brilliant...

A real mathter.

Dad: you should really take a break from studying calculus all day...

....how can you even function ?

I'm from Mississippi and I was the only black kid in my Calculus 2 class

Seems like Mississippi still has a problem with

( β’_β’)

( β’_β’)>ββ -β

integration

(ββ _β )

I failed my Calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.

It was hard to differentiate between them.

My calculus professor was 16 minutes late to his first class, 8 minutes late to his second, and 4 minutes late to the third.

At this rate, he will never be in class on time.

When taking a calculus exam, make sure you donβt sit between identical twins.

Because itβs hard to differentiate between them.

When God was integrating Planet Earth, he suddenly recalled his Calculus lesson.

He remembered to add the sea.

I failed my calculus exam because I was seated in between two identical twins.

I couldnβt differentiate between them.

I failed my calculus exam because I was seated next to two identical twins.

It was impossible to differentiate between them.

I'll do algebra, I'll put up with calculus,

But graphing is where I draw the line.

I failed my calculus exam in college because I was seated between two identical twins.

I couldnβt differentiate between them.

When God integrated Planet Earth, he didnβt forget his calculus lesson.

He remembered to add the sea.

I'll do algebra, I'll put up with calculus, I'll even push through trigonometry...

But graphing is where I draw the line!

I'll do algebra, tackle geometry, maybe even a little calculus...

But graphing is where I draw the line.

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