There’s a reasonable I don’t tell jokes about fungi.

Too mushroom for error.

Edit: reason damn auto fill.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.

It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chris3000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
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My sister met Proudlock from Made In Chelsea last night. Dad had a reasonable response. imgur.com/W8HhRQL
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dalviel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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my grandfather said this today on the dinner table and i was the only one that found it hilarious for no reason at all

G : what type of apples grow on trees ?

my dumbass : idk red and green ?

G : all of them do

wheezes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/malikbefine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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For some reason most of my friends didn't like it
πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nvoisin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.

Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AFonziScheme
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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Wife asked me for reasons behind my laziness, I have more than one.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DRJA5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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The reason dogs make noise but trees don't is complicated...

But long story short, it's because it's a different kind of bark

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πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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What is the number one reason for dry skin

Its a towel

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Autismos12345
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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I came up with the top ten reasons you shouldn't pee on an electric fence...

(#1 will shock you!)

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ozzyfilms124
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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2 main reasons I don't trust people.
  1. I don't know them.

  2. I know them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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Scientists have discovered that, on occasion, an octopus will "punch" a fish for no reason other than spite

That's called Toxic Molluskulinity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NAtionalniHIlist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Do you remember when you were a kid and whenever you cried, your parents would say, β€œI’ll give you a reason to cry!?" I always thought they were going to hit me...

...not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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I hadn’t used my main in around a year but had a reason to burro back in my post history... I had forgotten about this, and I don’t mean to brag but this is the single greatest post I’ve ever made on reddit.
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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My wife has been taking a course in advanced electrics and it's taken over her life. Everything she says these days concerns resistors, transformers, circuitry, voltage, ampage etc. All fucking day long, I've tried explaining to her it's driving a wedge between us, but she won't listen to reason.

She just buries her head in the sand like an off switch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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Your uncle had some really crazy reasons for joining the railroad.

Locomotives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iacon225
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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There's just no reason for women to behave the way they do when they're on their period....

Total ovary action.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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Found this on r/cursedcomments - the post (by u/Atom596 ) was removed for some reason so I couldn't crosspost but wanted to give the op credit
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLeader11037
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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I married a paraplegic for a reason...

So my spouse can’t kick me out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deerkiller14
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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A psychotic criminal stole a train. He said the reason was the voices in the head told him to.

It was a locomotive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ensiform
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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The 20c making machine at The Mint suddenly stop working for no reason.

It just doesn't make any cents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is

because it's peak comedy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/languagepotato
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water.

Number 1 and number 2.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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Did you hear the one about a guy who threw a pork dumpling at his friend for no reason?

It was a wanton wonton

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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The flag is not the only reason to move to Switzerland

but its a big plus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mathisfakenews
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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What do you call a crazy reason for robbing a train?

A loco motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Sometimes, when you find yourself walking through a shallow pool for no reason...

...you have to stop and ask yourself what you’re wading for...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sully1227
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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The reason there is so few organ donors is

it takes guts.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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When ducks fly in a V one side is always longer. Do you know the reason?

More ducks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimplisticAnswer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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There are several reasons that a brain fetish is weird.

First one that comes to mind....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatoeoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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If you become seriously depressed, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed.

That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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Intervals aren't the first reason to learn to play an instrument.

But they are a major second.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SD_Swift
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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I've always hated Santa for some reason...

Doctor finally diagnosed me with Claustrophobia,

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I asked a friend for one reason I shouldn't murder my boss.

His answer was simple. There is no Netflix in prison.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I was wondering what the reason is that dolphins exist...

I mean, what’s their porpoise?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marine1992
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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The reason Superman can't defeat Dracula...

is because he can't go near the crypt tonight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mex5150
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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For some reason I always get sick during holidays.

I must have a weekend immune system...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GAZUAG
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I apologise if this isn't allowed.

New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoThruTrucks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Why could no one understand the trains reasoning.

It had locomotives

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathdlr34
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Hey everyone, thanks for keeping this community awesome, but due to several reasons, I've decided to stop making dad jokes, here's why

Why

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinayjrao
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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There were a lot of dead ants in my drink for some reasons

So I guess you could call them my ant tea bodies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marshmello100
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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Cross post for obvious reasons... /r/Jokes/comments/jfm40r/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorMasterBates
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeastπŸ™πŸ»β€οΈ

Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!😁

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLoveRaviolis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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About bill and melinda

So, Bill and Melinda Gates are getting a divorce She gets the house and He gets the Windows!

According to Melinda Gates, Bill just didn't Excel at his marriage. Apparently he had no Power Points while arguing, but he always had to have the last Word And now that he no longer had Access to her heart, the Outlook was not looking good for them. They couldn’t work together as Teams On the Surface they were a perfect couple, but deep down there was hardly any Kinect. He kept everything hidden like an X-Box and she never found it re- Azuring. The main reason she divorced Bill Gates because he was in Office365 days.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sq009
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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And you can guess the reason why.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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Credit: u/derpytomato05 from r/funny(couldn't xpost for some reason)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrammerTheGamer
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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Grazing puns ?

This might be a little unconventional but i’m thinking of starting a charcuterie/grazing board business, and would love a punny name for it !

Some examples that i’ve seen have been β€œget grazy” β€œamazing grazing” but can’t use those for obvious reasons

So if you guys have any punny suggestions to do with cheese , grazing , platters , etc :))

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fflowerss
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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There are two reasons not to drink toilet water.

Number one. And number two.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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There are two reasons you shouldn't drink toilet water

Number one, and number two

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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