I work in logistics and occasionally get great excuses for why truckers are late to deliver. Today a guy called in an explained he hit an alligator and blew out some tires. My buddy's response: "Sounds like he had a rare run in with the You'll Be Later Alligator. Unless it was actually an It'll Be Awhile Crocodile."
Am I right ?
I really need the validation.
Mostly beef, chicken, and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
Guy was like, "Left side parallel, way to go."
I chose "new" but they're all reposts... should be "knew" instead
They don’t like to work for peanuts.
The Crimea River
"I like your new Jeep, but it's broken." I look at him confused. "It's in the parking lot pointing west. Shouldn't Compasses always point north?"
So for background, I work at McDonald's. I have to scan every Euro Bill 50 € and up.
So one day a dad comes in with his two little daughters. He places his order and hands me a 50 € bill. I scan it and scan it again and the machine won't recognize its validity, when the dad says:'That's odd, I JUST changed my printer's toner' Daughters facepalm other dads in line nod
Me: What time are you going to be home tonight?
Wife: Ten-ish.
Me: Okay. And what sport does Sean Connery like to play at the country club?
Wife: Ugh.
I told them it was called hop moskido.
This actually happened. Nobody laughed and no one I've told it to since has laughed. I think it's really funny and I need some validation. Help
Well to be perfectly honest, in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently from my point of view, but also by looking into this matter in a different perspective and without being condemning of one's view's and by trying to make it objectified, and by considering each and every one's valid opinion, I honestly believe that I completely forgot what I was going to say.
I have to go to the doctor for tests later and it's required that i drink 5 million gallons of water beforehand.
Dad: "Have you been drinking?"
Me: "I've been trying, but it's pretty difficult without a valid ID."
I went grocery shopping, and picked up some shampoo and conditioner. At checkout, the cashier hands me a coupon with my receipt.
>Cashier: "Oh hey, that coupon's valid for the same shampoo you just bought."
>Me: "Cool, I guess I better hairy up and finish these, then!"
>Cashier: …
Anyway, I'm banned from that grocery store now.
One dude got it, thus validating what I was doing.
I am on the city council and we had a workshop about why utility rates are lower inside the city compared to outside.
It came down to this:
- No study was done to show the validity of the difference.
- It was strictly a policy decision with an arbitrary number.
- The reason for this approach was simply that it is "standard in the industry" and because it is "what every other city does".
Prefacing that I was a dad so I had to say it: I suggested the rational wasn't the most sound since "just because every other city jumped off a bridge, it didn't mean I wasn't going to jump off a bridge."
Mixture of groans and laughter.
Am I right?
