Why did the statistician hesitate to apply the square root transformation to the data on annual hate crimes?

She didn't want bigotry to be normalized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrBobShelton_74
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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How can you prove that the "I" before "E" except after "C" doesn't always apply ?

Through science.

πŸ‘︎ 144
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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I was gonna apply for a job at a Dentist’s Office, but unfortunately...

They didn’t need any fillings.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordIggy88
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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How does a redhead apply a bandaid?

Gingerly.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shakespearesbutt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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A guy came to apply for a job at my ski resort but suddenly walked off angrily...

All I said was "there's snow jobs available."

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? And the same thing applies to the Virgin Islands;

There are no canaries there either.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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Why did I apply to security

To take away my insecurities

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ujdiejH
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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My wife asked me to help her apply mascara...

It was an eye-opening experience

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Happy Father's Day applies to all humans and animals as well. But apparently it doesn't matter to elephants.

For them, it's irrelephant.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pdaddydlg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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How does a democrat apply lotion?

By applying a liberal amount.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLonelyKerbal
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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I think I’ll apply to a job at a scissor lift factory.

They’re always hiring people.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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Why do Americans think that continent codes don't apply to them?

It's N/A.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/toforama
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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Same applies if she stops footballs from going in the goal
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doctordoom55
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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Wait, does this apply to me??

I just realized an unfortunate truth about people who make puns.

Most of their jokes are homophonic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sconove1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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Don't know if this applies but I found it hilarious
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justiono
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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My girlfriend tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn’t letter. They said only mails work here.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HemperorSean
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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When someone is depressed, apply pressure to some part of their body. They'll no longer be de-pressed.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuspiciousOmelet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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I was at school today and they ask us if the bill of rights apply to us students i responded we can't bare shoulders never mind baring arms
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gardnbra7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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Why does everyone apply salt to their meals?

It’s sodium good

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterDoot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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I didn’t like fishing until my dad showed me how to apply bait

Now I’m hooked

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDoctor88888888
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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[MOD POST] Hunting for an additional moderator. Read and apply within.

EDIT: I am now closing applications and will make a decision in the next day or so. Thank you to everybody who applied - the general enthusiasm and support is wonderful to see.

( as this is a self post, I receive no karma - however I would appreciate it if you upvoted purely for visibility <3 )

Hey everybody,

The /r/dadjokes community is now over 85,000 subscribers strong. That's pretty great. Pretty super great.

Thus far, over the entire existence of this sub, I have been the only mod. Quietly watching, taking your feedback, removing a post here, approving another there - doing my best not to interfere too much. I'm going to be honest, it hasn't been that hard.

You lot are generally a pretty nice bunch, give or take a few of the more vocal lunatics. There isn't usually a lot of work to be done, or issues that need resolving.

That said, I'm not awake all the time. I can't lurk on Reddit all the time. I don't have all-seeing eyes.

So it's about time I gave another pair of eyes moderator status and entrusted those eyes with a duty of care.

Let's get down to the chase; here's what I'm looking for in an additional mod:

  • You live in a very different timezone to Syd, AU - GMT+10
  • You have a good sense of humour
  • You're not in this purely to grow your 'net rep
  • You're interested in being fair, and maintaining fairness
  • You maintain civility in yourself and your responses at all times
  • You have a bit of time every day to go through reports, spam, and post comments
  • You understand that your moderatorship will initially be a trial, and can be revoked at any time if you aren't being magical and rad
  • Some general CSS/subreddit formatting knowledge wouldn't go astray, but is not required

Here's what I am not looking for:

  • Strong, cemented opinions about what constitutes a dad joke and what doesn't - everybody's dad and humour is different
  • An overzealous post remover - I am not looking for an enforcer, the title moderator implies moderation
  • A(nother) dictator - it is my preference that this subreddit be gently guided, and not forcibly ruled, we let the community find itself and we listen to what they say

If you wish to apply for the title and duty of being a moderator to /r/dadjokes, simply state your case (why you should be selected, what benefits or experience you bring, etc) in a comment reply to this thread. I will then get in touch with the most worthy seeming applicants. Upvotes and downvites will not be taken int

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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If you need a job you should apply at Search and Rescue..

They're always looking for people.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yakhuul
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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If a bellybutton joined the military, what would he apply for?

He would apply to be a Naval Officer

Edit: Words

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/newbness
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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I was going to apply at a vegetarian restaurant until I saw they were actually offering to pay an annual celery.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/resmungomandinga
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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Local conversion rates apply
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrtschndr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
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What do pessimistic girls apply to their face in the morning?

Make-down.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrokenBreath
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a drivers license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with letters "C Z W I X N O S T A C Z" Optician: "Can you read this?" "Read it?" the Polish man replied, "I know the guy!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vongolaguy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2018
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Studies show you can run 32% farther if you apply a bit of glue to your feet before you run.

It's all about pasting yourself.

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LYKAF0XX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2013
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I called a Buddhist temple and asked if I could apply

They told me applications come from within

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Nearmint
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
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Was told it may apply here.... reddit.com/r/3amjokes/com…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thejeremx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
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What does a pig apply when it has a rash?

Oinkment

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MySiblingIsCool
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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Why did the cheese go to the bank?: To apply for a provolone...
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/colinhd27
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
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When you apply for a job at pepsi

Do they test for coke?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrDinopunch
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
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My dad told me to apply for a job at Men's Warehouse

He said a job like that would really suit me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/totusestunus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2014
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I'm going to start calling "shampoo" "terms." That way when I shower, I know that terms and conditioner may apply.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AJWILLIKERS
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2016
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I always thought my dad jokes didn't apply to my dad until tonight.

I'm 17 and live with my parents, and my sister, niece, and nephew (who is 6) were over for dinner tonight, and we were talking about grades.
Me: I think I have a B in AP Biology.
Nephew: I got a B once.
Dad: Did it sting you?
Us: -_-

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phoenix_Fury7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2013
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I before E except after C doesn't always apply...

isn't that wEIrd

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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My wife asked me to apply mascara on her...

It was an eye opening experience

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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