How can you prove that the "I" before "E" except after "C" doesn't always apply ?

Through science.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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How does a redhead apply a bandaid?

Gingerly.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Shakespearesbutt
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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A guy came to apply for a job at my ski resort but suddenly walked off angrily...

All I said was "there's snow jobs available."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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Why did I apply to security

To take away my insecurities

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ujdiejH
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? And the same thing applies to the Virgin Islands;

There are no canaries there either.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jan_Tik
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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My wife asked me to help her apply mascara...

It was an eye-opening experience

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dubaidadjokes
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Happy Father's Day applies to all humans and animals as well. But apparently it doesn't matter to elephants.

For them, it's irrelephant.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pdaddydlg
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Traffic rules apply, kids

No left on read! I will know.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/funkhammer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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How does a democrat apply lotion?

By applying a liberal amount.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheLonelyKerbal
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 25 2020
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I think Iโ€™ll apply to a job at a scissor lift factory.

Theyโ€™re always hiring people.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jlionbad
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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Why do Americans think that continent codes don't apply to them?

It's N/A.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 24
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/toforama
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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Same applies if she stops footballs from going in the goal
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Doctordoom55
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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Wait, does this apply to me??

I just realized an unfortunate truth about people who make puns.

Most of their jokes are homophonic.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sconove1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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My girlfriend tried to apply at the post office but they wouldnโ€™t letter. They said only mails work here.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HemperorSean
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Don't know if this applies but I found it hilarious
๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/justiono
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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I was at school today and they ask us if the bill of rights apply to us students i responded we can't bare shoulders never mind baring arms
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/gardnbra7
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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When someone is depressed, apply pressure to some part of their body. They'll no longer be de-pressed.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SuspiciousOmelet
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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Why does everyone apply salt to their meals?

Itโ€™s sodium good

๐Ÿ‘︎ 35
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MasterDoot
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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I didnโ€™t like fishing until my dad showed me how to apply bait

Now Iโ€™m hooked

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheDoctor88888888
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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[MOD POST] Hunting for an additional moderator. Read and apply within.

EDIT: I am now closing applications and will make a decision in the next day or so. Thank you to everybody who applied - the general enthusiasm and support is wonderful to see.

( as this is a self post, I receive no karma - however I would appreciate it if you upvoted purely for visibility <3 )

Hey everybody,

The /r/dadjokes community is now over 85,000 subscribers strong. That's pretty great. Pretty super great.

Thus far, over the entire existence of this sub, I have been the only mod. Quietly watching, taking your feedback, removing a post here, approving another there - doing my best not to interfere too much. I'm going to be honest, it hasn't been that hard.

You lot are generally a pretty nice bunch, give or take a few of the more vocal lunatics. There isn't usually a lot of work to be done, or issues that need resolving.

That said, I'm not awake all the time. I can't lurk on Reddit all the time. I don't have all-seeing eyes.

So it's about time I gave another pair of eyes moderator status and entrusted those eyes with a duty of care.

Let's get down to the chase; here's what I'm looking for in an additional mod:

  • You live in a very different timezone to Syd, AU - GMT+10
  • You have a good sense of humour
  • You're not in this purely to grow your 'net rep
  • You're interested in being fair, and maintaining fairness
  • You maintain civility in yourself and your responses at all times
  • You have a bit of time every day to go through reports, spam, and post comments
  • You understand that your moderatorship will initially be a trial, and can be revoked at any time if you aren't being magical and rad
  • Some general CSS/subreddit formatting knowledge wouldn't go astray, but is not required

Here's what I am not looking for:

  • Strong, cemented opinions about what constitutes a dad joke and what doesn't - everybody's dad and humour is different
  • An overzealous post remover - I am not looking for an enforcer, the title moderator implies moderation
  • A(nother) dictator - it is my preference that this subreddit be gently guided, and not forcibly ruled, we let the community find itself and we listen to what they say

If you wish to apply for the title and duty of being a moderator to /r/dadjokes, simply state your case (why you should be selected, what benefits or experience you bring, etc) in a comment reply to this thread. I will then get in touch with the most worthy seeming applicants. Upvotes and downvites will not be taken int

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tali3sin
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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If you need a job you should apply at Search and Rescue..

They're always looking for people.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 55
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/yakhuul
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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I was going to apply at a vegetarian restaurant until I saw they were actually offering to pay an annual celery.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/resmungomandinga
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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If a bellybutton joined the military, what would he apply for?

He would apply to be a Naval Officer

Edit: Words

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/newbness
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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Local conversion rates apply
๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mrtschndr
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
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What do pessimistic girls apply to their face in the morning?

Make-down.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BrokenBreath
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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I called a Buddhist temple and asked if I could apply

They told me applications come from within

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/_Nearmint
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
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A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a drivers license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with letters "C Z W I X N O S T A C Z" Optician: "Can you read this?" "Read it?" the Polish man replied, "I know the guy!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Vongolaguy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 03 2018
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Was told it may apply here.... reddit.com/r/3amjokes/comโ€ฆ
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thejeremx
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
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What does a pig apply when it has a rash?

Oinkment

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MySiblingIsCool
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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Studies show you can run 32% farther if you apply a bit of glue to your feet before you run.

It's all about pasting yourself.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 75
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LYKAF0XX
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 10 2013
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When you apply for a job at pepsi

Do they test for coke?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DrDinopunch
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
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Why did the cheese go to the bank?: To apply for a provolone...
๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/colinhd27
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
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My dad told me to apply for a job at Men's Warehouse

He said a job like that would really suit me

๐Ÿ‘︎ 23
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/totusestunus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2014
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I always thought my dad jokes didn't apply to my dad until tonight.

I'm 17 and live with my parents, and my sister, niece, and nephew (who is 6) were over for dinner tonight, and we were talking about grades.
Me: I think I have a B in AP Biology.
Nephew: I got a B once.
Dad: Did it sting you?
Us: -_-

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Phoenix_Fury7
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 06 2013
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I before E except after C doesn't always apply...

isn't that wEIrd

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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My wife asked me to apply mascara on her...

It was an eye opening experience

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dubaidadjokes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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