Eligible Puns

...For unemployment.

Or is it MediCat?

You may be eligible for condensation.

I went online and saw that a nigerian princess wanted to send me millions of dollars. However, I had to send $100 for handling fees on the check. However, I wanted confirmation. So I had her send me a picture. She did. Now, a princess needs a prince right? So I went online and found a picture of an eligible bachelor prince. Some guy from Jordan. I then took the two images, placed them side by side, and had some photoshopped ceremonial garb.

In otherwords, I married the prints. Of course, I took pictures of the happy event and sent them to the "princess" with the caption "I already married the prints." The scammer didn't reply unfortunately.

The most eligible spatula

So we were at a certain popular buffet chain, and when my dad 54-year-old with a long white beard went up to pay, the Spanish cashier asked if he was eligible for the senior discount, for ages 65+.

He strokes his beard and says "Nope, I'm not quite there yet.

I was standing behind him waiting to go eat, and I said "Well maybe you should try talking Spanish? Then you will be a señor!"

She gave us the discount, everybody around us cracked up laughing, applause was had, and the Albert Einstein behind us gave me $100. (Seriously though, they both laughed, she gave us the $0.59 discount, and Dad tells this story every chance he gets.)

You may be eligible for condensation.