๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AlejandroTheGreat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 18 2009
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do lawyers wear to court?

Lawsuits.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 73
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/daviscojokes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Lawyer says, my client is trapped in a penny

He is in a cent

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/atharvanaik
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 16
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dad was an alcoholic who wanted to be a lawyer

He could never pass the bar

๐Ÿ‘︎ 61
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How could a tailor become such a good lawyer?

Because he had lots of experience in sewing.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Godriel
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 15
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about the lawyer who learned on the job?

He gained all his knowledge through trials and error.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LoudMouse327
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 18
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend Robert is a lawyer who specializes in helping convicted people by getting their records erased permanently. Everyone calls him...

Expunge Bob

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GeoffInNC
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why canโ€™t alcoholics become lawyers?

Because they can never just pass a bar.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/meatfish
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The lawyer always kept losing his cases

He didn't mind cause he was practicing

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/deathfromradiator1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do lawyers wear to work?

Law suits

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/vinotm
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does a lawyer wear to work?

A lawsuit!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nourmomlolgey
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whatโ€™s a lawyerโ€™s least favorite cheese?

Pro-vlono

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CrackedNoseMastiff
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the lawyer use when he went fishing?

Deโ€™baitโ€™!

or, alternate punchline:

Bating tactics!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ms__Brightside
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did the strawberry get a lawyer?

โ€˜Cause it was in a jam!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nCRedditor-21
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Iโ€™m not saying a word without my lawyer present

Cop: But you are the lawyer? Me: Then whereโ€™s my present?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rubbedlamp
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
You shouldnโ€™t take a lawyerโ€™s advice over emails

Because that would be

E-legal.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Foxie13x
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did the lawyer yell at his housekeeper?

She was filing suits.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ImClumZ
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
When I become a lawyer, I want to defend a penguin....

Just so I can say, "Your honour!! My client clearly isn't a flight risk."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My lawyer advised me of a hernia mesh replacement lawsuit

Sounds like a huge pain in the butt

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I heard you can get lawyers at Ikea now.

They're very affordable, but you have to build your own case.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 23
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Black-Lining
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
When asexual become lawyers they're

Ace attorney's

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Lawyer - Is it crime to throw salt in someone's eyes?

Judge - Yes, that's assault!

Lawyer - I know it's a salt but is it a crime?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 31
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/viky_boy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the lawyer say when he put his luggage to sleep?

"I rest my case."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 25
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VoiceOverGaming900
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife has a lawyer's boobs

They're firm

๐Ÿ‘︎ 52
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sarcasticpremed
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you know that lawyers are buried 12 feet deep when they die?

Apparently deep down they are good people.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BKFKHC
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The biggest fan of U2 was a penniless lawyer

Everything he did was pro Bono

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DutchBlob
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the lawyer use when he went fishing?

Debate.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ms__Brightside
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A Renaissance era lawyer lost his law license for insulting the king...

He was Diss-Bard.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/andersonfmly
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...

His stage name "Diss-Bard"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Brokenbyher2019
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife's mother is a lawyer.

I have a mother-in-law.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 114
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mayhemismanly
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I stole a lawyerโ€™s underwear right before court.

Thereโ€™s no way heโ€™ll succeed without his legal briefs.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 72
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/IMadeItGuys
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If you get in an accident and need to see a lawyer about it, just be careful..

They'll add consult to injury

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My complete jerk of a brother is a Karate expert, a Chef and a Lawyer!

Dad calls him "Chop Suey."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PotBuzz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What Do You Call a Lawyerโ€™s Underwear?

Legal briefs

I canโ€™t take credit for this joke; I got it from Frasier.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MrGeekman
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man sitting in an interrogation room says โ€œIโ€™m not saying anything without my lawyer present!โ€

The policeman says โ€œYou are the lawyer!โ€

โ€œExactly, so whereโ€™s my present?โ€ Replies the lawyer.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 37
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/stvbckwth
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A lawyer wakes up after surgery

He asks the nurse why the blinds are drawn.

She says, "There's a fire outside and we didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tfowler11
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's a lawyer's favorite town?

Sioux City.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dunn_with_this
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does a lawyer wear to court

A lawsuit

๐Ÿ‘︎ 85
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do lawyers say goodbye ?

I'll be suing ya !

๐Ÿ‘︎ 26
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What kind of letter does a lawyer send a chemist he wants to stop doing something?

A cesium and desist letter.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ICWhatsNUrP
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a preist turned lawyer?

A father-in-law

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ItsOverAnakin_3
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man in an interrogation room says, โ€œIโ€™m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"

The lawyer shrieks, "Exactly! So whereโ€™s my present?!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the picture tell the lawyer?

Help! Iโ€™ve been framed.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 65
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Di_Ma_Re_Bra
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What type of underwear do lawyers wear to court?

Legal briefs

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/IMadeItGuys
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Me: Iโ€™m not saying a word without my lawyer present, Cop: You ARE the lawyer

Me: So whereโ€™s my present?!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Clout-Nine
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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