๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AlejandroTheGreat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 18 2009
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife has a lawyer's boobs

They're firm

๐Ÿ‘︎ 46
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sarcasticpremed
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 07
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The biggest fan of U2 was a penniless lawyer

Everything he did was pro Bono

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DutchBlob
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 30
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My complete jerk of a brother is a Karate expert, a Chef and a Lawyer!

Dad calls him "Chop Suey."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PotBuzz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 23
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What Do You Call a Lawyerโ€™s Underwear?

Legal briefs

I canโ€™t take credit for this joke; I got it from Frasier.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MrGeekman
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 17
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do lawyers wear to work?

A lawsuit.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 147
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bringojackprot
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 16
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man sitting in an interrogation room says โ€œIโ€™m not saying anything without my lawyer present!โ€

The policeman says โ€œYou are the lawyer!โ€

โ€œExactly, so whereโ€™s my present?โ€ Replies the lawyer.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 40
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/stvbckwth
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 28
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I stole a lawyerโ€™s underwear right before court.

Thereโ€™s no way heโ€™ll succeed without his legal briefs.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 76
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/IMadeItGuys
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's a lawyer's favorite town?

Sioux City.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dunn_with_this
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 07
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife's mother is a lawyer.

I have a mother-in-law.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 111
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mayhemismanly
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 14
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What kind of letter does a lawyer send a chemist he wants to stop doing something?

A cesium and desist letter.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ICWhatsNUrP
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 10
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A lawyer wakes up after surgery

He asks the nurse why the blinds are drawn.

She says, "There's a fire outside and we didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tfowler11
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 13
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do lawyers say goodbye ?

I'll be suing ya !

๐Ÿ‘︎ 24
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 16
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a preist turned lawyer?

A father-in-law

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ItsOverAnakin_3
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 07
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Two lawyers were comparing clients.

The first one claims his client is trapped in a penny. Answering the second lawyer's confused look, he says, "My client is in a cent."

the second lawyer nods, then says, "Well. My client is a fish head steeped in hot water. You could say he's gill tea."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ICWhatsNUrP
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 03
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does a lawyer wear to court

A lawsuit

๐Ÿ‘︎ 84
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 30
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What type of underwear do lawyers wear to court?

Legal briefs

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/IMadeItGuys
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 21
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
So, my lawyer recently got arrested...

He was brought in for soliciting.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wolfyfancylads
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 07
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the picture tell the lawyer?

Help! Iโ€™ve been framed.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 67
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Di_Ma_Re_Bra
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 24
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the Lawyer say after having a tough financial year?

My income is low-er and this maybe my career's financy low-year.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Nnntridib
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 08
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I hired lawyers to sue the airline company for mishandling my luggage.

They lost my case.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 33
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BlankPhotos
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 18
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the lawyer say when he put is suitcase to bed?

I rest my case

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VeryCoolPerson1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 18
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does a lawyer wear to work?

Lawsuits

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/IncredulousPatriot
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 10
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The divorce lawyer told me to get my affairs in order.

I said alphabetically or by age

๐Ÿ‘︎ 43
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 24
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a lawyer that cooks?

A sue chef

๐Ÿ‘︎ 23
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/The-Invictus
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 09
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a Catholic priest that becomes a lawyer?

A Father in law.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 35
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Alexshinoda117
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 01
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man in an interrogation room says, โ€œIโ€™m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"

The lawyer shrieks, "Exactly! So whereโ€™s my present?!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 41
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 26
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What happened to the failing lawyer with erectile dysfunction

He lost his firm

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/greatreference
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 03
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why don't dog lawyers make any money?

Because they are pro bone-O.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AtlantaBanana
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 03
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I asked my hot lawyer wife for a new nudie

She sent me a contract or agreement by which one receives fixed payments on an investment for a lifetime or for a specified number of years

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hotsprings1234
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 16
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to a lawyer, and asked him whether I can sue the airline.

He said, โ€œYou donโ€™t have much of a case.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 192
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My lawyer hurt his leg

Turns out it was a-turned-knee

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/maccer20
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 20
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What makes gays and lawyers happy?

New mandates

๐Ÿ‘︎ 89
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rdpl_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 20
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call an Australian lawyer?

A liar

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PygmeePony
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 20
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
[In a courtroom] Lawyer: Judge, you a complete moron are!!

Judge: Thatโ€™s out of order.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 15
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If good lawyers know the law, what do great lawyers know?

The judge.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 107
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/aikijo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What comes out of a lawyer's toilet?

sue-age

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/octalgon
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 20
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Iโ€™m not saying a word without my lawyer present
  • Sir you are the lawyer...
  • Then whereโ€™s my present??
๐Ÿ‘︎ 34
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/whysomanyemmas
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 09
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What type of suits do lawyers wear?

Lawsuits.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ninjasunite
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 12
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does a global pandemic and an overworked lawyer have in common?

Theyโ€™re both sick of new cases.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ninjaturtles55
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 11
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I had breakfast at The Mesa Grill and got food poisoning. My lawyer said that I had a good case, but I'm a man.

I just didn't wanna sue Flay.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PotBuzz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 03
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do we call a lawyer's bag?

A briefcase

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Gashau
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 09
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do lawyers wear to work everyday?

Their lawsuit.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/noahtheshittyitguy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a lawyer when he's cooking dinner?

A sue chef.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 62
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/EbriusSage
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 09
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why do bananas make such great lawyers?

Because they always make such strong appeals.

(Came up with this this morning while cutting my 6mo's frozen banana up and watching the news about the impeachment trials. I'm pretty proud of it, though I may be mixing up my legal terms)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 23
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KnoobLord
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 24
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does a lawyer die

They commit sue-icide

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DaddyDawsonUser1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My drunk uncle tried to be a lawyer

but he couldn't pass the bar.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/milkchaser
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 11
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a lawyer who only works for certain monkeys?

Pro bonobo

I'll see myself out.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/draadhaai
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 02
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The alcoholic lawyer got his license revoked by the judge.

He kept going to disbar.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sir_Pluses
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 14
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the lawyer wear to his next case?

His Law Suit.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 116
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SirMalcolmK
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A lawyer and a law maker had been in an argument for several years, escalating into a bet to see who would break the law first. The lawyer then found himself in a trial against the law maker.

The law maker was outlawed.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/N1ch0l2s
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 05
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whatโ€™s so great about having an Aztec Lawyer?

They get right to the heart of the problem.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ContextEFT
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 15
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Lawyer, chemist and a statistician goes hunting

Lawyer, chemist and a statistician are out in a forest hunting for deer. After one hour of patiently waiting lawyer finally spots one. The lawyer shoots at a deer and misses half a meter to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses half a meter to the right. Both are furious and dissapointed as they see the deer escape.

Chemist asks statistician - "why you didn't shoot ?"

Statistician replyes - "I didn't need to, we already shot him !".

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CheeserLP
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Old Lawyers Don't Die

They just lose their appeal

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/x_amxxn_x
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 24
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man calls a lawyer and asks,

Man: "How much would you charge for three simple questions?"

Lawyer: "$900"

Man: "Wow that is a lot isn't it?"

Lawyer: "Yes it is, now what is your third question?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RhettTheRhett
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 14
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's a lawyers favorite genre of porn?

Legal action

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cazualheathen
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

One of them's a bottom dwelling, scum sucking scavenger...

The other one's just a fish.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bentnotbroken96
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 03
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Lawyer - Doctor, as a result of your examinations, would you say the woman was pregnant?

Doctor - Yes, she was pregnant, but not as a result of my examination.

Taken from an actual court hearing

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pappajay2001
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does a lawyer wear in court to handle evidence after dark?

Night-trial gloves

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wizard7926
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did the lawyer get thrown out of court?

He showed up wearing only a lawsuit.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/I_am_Boi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Got a new phone, and I went straight to my lawyer's office.

He's helping me build a case to avoid damages.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 39
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/metroidfan220
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a priest who is also a lawyer?

A father in law

๐Ÿ‘︎ 65
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Anthonybrose
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present. Cop: You ARE the lawyer.

Lawyer: So where's my present?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 28
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/simplyGagi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue!
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/vn121212
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you call you your wife's lawyer mother?

Mother in law

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/advicerkid
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
You were mauled by a gang of squirrels. You want to sue them but no lawyer wants to take your case. Why?

They think you are nuts.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dagoor
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the lawyer wear to the prom

A lawsuit.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Xx_Hedshot_xX
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call 2 lawyers in a room?

A paralegals.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chicks_for_dinner
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Lawyer: My client is trapped inside a penny!

Judge: Stuck in a penny?

Lawyer: Yes, heโ€™s in a cent!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 107
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/seems_legit_man
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 01 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about the trans lawyer who sent a settlement letter to a dentist?

It was trans-send-dental-mediation.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Perrin42
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My mom told me her lawyer always shows up to court wearing the same thing

A lawsuit

๐Ÿ‘︎ 58
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kittycaviar
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My priest is a lawyer.

He's my father in law

๐Ÿ‘︎ 58
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Philip_McCrevasse
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 16 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I went to a lawyer yesterday to try and sue Starbucks for not filtering my coffee correctly.

But it turns out there were no grounds.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bunselpower
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Divorce lawyer: Iโ€™m sorry to say, but all of your husbandโ€™s assets are Frozen.

Wife: How?

Lawyer: Iโ€™m not sure, but he has 2000 DVDs of the movie for some reason.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 38
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did the shark not eat the lawyer?

Professional courtesy

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DOOM500YT
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nino-fukosima
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I got another letter from a lawyer today that read final notice!

I'm glad he won't be bothering me anymore!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/B-man44
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I used to be in charge of my aging parents estate, but my brother was bitten by a radioactive lawyer.

Now he has the power of attorney

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Chateau512
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine

when he saw two pathetic-looking men by the side of the road, eating grass. He ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked the men, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have no money for food," the first man replied.

"Then you must come with me to my house," insisted the lawyer.

"But, sir, I got a wife and three kids here," said the man.

"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer.

The second man exclaimed, "I got a wife and six kids!"

"Bring them as well!", the lawyer proclaimed as he headed back to his limo.

They all climbed into the car, and once underway, one of the men expresses, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "I'm most happy to do it. You'll love my place. The grass is almost a foot tall."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kachow--
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Lawyer present
๐Ÿ‘︎ 82
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MechanicWings
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A cop walks up to a lawyer...

Lawyer: "I'm not saying another word without my lawyer present."

Police: "But you are the lawyer."

Lawyer: "Exactly, where's my present?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 354
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/darktymes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do lawyers wear to court? reddit.com/r/cleanjokes/cโ€ฆ
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dbf09
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 21 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did the lawyer go to culinary school? reddit.com/r/cleanjokes/cโ€ฆ
๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Danielaurence
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does a lawyer stop the bleeding?

Attorney-kit.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 227
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mrdoolit
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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Do you need a lawyer Sulu?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/scottyblanco
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
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A man in an interrogation room says, โ€œIโ€™m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"

The lawyer shrieks, "Exactly! So whereโ€™s my present?!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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I showed my damaged luggage to a lawyer, and said, โ€œI want to sue the airline!โ€

The lawyer said, โ€œYou donโ€™t have much of a case.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 17 2019
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I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to a lawyer, and asked him whether I can sue the airline.

He said you donโ€™t have much of a case.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 33
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mark30322
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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I hired lawyers to sue the airline company for mishandling my luggage.

They lost my case.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 17 2018
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What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer?

A father in law...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 10 2017
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What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer?

A father in law.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 154
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Anthonybrose
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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I showed my damaged luggage to a lawyer, and said, โ€œI want to sue the airline!โ€

The lawyer said, โ€œYou donโ€™t have much of a case.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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