22 Hilarious Attorney Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Why did the cow want to be an attorney?

For all the moo law

👍︎ 21

💬︎

👤︎ u/australiagiraffeman

📅︎ Nov 24 2020

🚨︎ report

Guys, I have a question. Me and a friend are arguing about the setting of the Ace Attorney games.

He keeps telling me its LA, but its gotta be Phoenix, right?

👍︎ 8

💬︎

👤︎ u/SilverStoneX1

📅︎ Nov 20 2020

🚨︎ report

Why won't the bird defense attorney speak to more than one crow at a time?

Because anything more than one is murder.

👍︎ 7

💬︎

👤︎ u/TeslaFan900

📅︎ Oct 11 2020

🚨︎ report

Attorney Lex Lawson seeks out elegant and luxurious cafes wherever he goes. He has been widely recognized as a persistent .........

ambience chaser

👍︎ 9

💬︎

👤︎ u/bardbelle

📅︎ Aug 10 2020

🚨︎ report

What do you call a crocodile that is an attorney?

A litigator.

👍︎ 10

💬︎

👤︎ u/UserCheckNamesOut

📅︎ Apr 28 2020

🚨︎ report

What do you call a priest who's also an attorney?

Father-in-Law.

👍︎ 10

💬︎

👤︎ u/ebarnhard1983

📅︎ Jul 01 2019

🚨︎ report

What do you call an attractive female attorney?

prosecutie

👍︎ 23

💬︎

👤︎ u/warpedddd

📅︎ Jun 22 2019

🚨︎ report

What sort of cocktail does an attorney drink?

Subpoeña coladas

👍︎ 34

💬︎

👤︎ u/Saltycook

📅︎ Jun 29 2019

🚨︎ report

Did you hear about the U2 fanclub that's just for attorneys?

It's called Pro Bono.

👍︎ 6

💬︎

👤︎ u/themeadows00

📅︎ Apr 25 2019

🚨︎ report

What kinda suit does an attorney use for court?

A Law-suit. (Impossible that I'm the first person to think this).

👍︎ 19

💬︎

👤︎ u/trichard311

📅︎ Jun 15 2018

🚨︎ report

The prosecuting attorney would lose every trial because he was too namby-pamby...

He had a lack of conviction that led to a lack of conviction.

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Apr 10 2019

🚨︎ report

My dad's amazing driving advice to my sister: "I can replace any mailbox you hit. If you collide with a cop car, I've got a good attorney. If you run over a nun, God will forgive you. But if you hit my truck, you better leave the f***ing country."

👍︎ 31

💬︎

👤︎ u/iwillhavethat

📅︎ Mar 04 2018

🚨︎ report

When all hope was lost in the courtroom, the defendant attorney suddenly came out of some luggage and won the trial with efficiency and success.

It was a brief case.

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/BustZaNuto

📅︎ Jan 28 2019

🚨︎ report

What does a an Attorney wear to work?

A Law-Suit.

👍︎ 5

💬︎

👤︎ u/bad11ama

📅︎ Nov 20 2018

🚨︎ report

My attorney friend must really like the group U2

He is always talking about being Pro-Bono

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/DinglebarryHandpump

📅︎ Oct 20 2018

🚨︎ report

Why was the District Attorney happy to see storm clouds?

Because every prosecutor loves arraigny day!

👍︎ 4

💬︎

👤︎ u/SpenceMan01

📅︎ Sep 04 2018

🚨︎ report

Divorce attorneys and waiters in Prague have a lot in common

For example, they’re both often asked to separate Czechs

👍︎ 7

💬︎

👤︎ u/garboooge

📅︎ Jul 11 2018

🚨︎ report

An attorney was offered a chance to play the role of William Shakespeare in a movie, but had to respectfully decline...

"I can't," the lawyer said. "I'd be dis Bard."

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/Propyl_People_Ether

📅︎ Jun 01 2018

🚨︎ report

My wife's parents are both attorneys

I hate in when the at-laws visit.

👍︎ 6

💬︎

👤︎ u/chicachibi

📅︎ Apr 19 2017

🚨︎ report

Did you hear about the attorney that died at Phelps and Phelps?

The others were feeling Phelpless.

👍︎ 4

💬︎

👤︎ u/xray31

📅︎ Jun 02 2017

🚨︎ report

My son has recently decided to become a defense attorney

I guess you could say he's my son in law...

👍︎ 21

💬︎

👤︎ u/ojcoolj

📅︎ Apr 19 2015

🚨︎ report

How do orthodontists pay their attorneys?

They keep them on retainer.

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/skryfy

📅︎ May 15 2016

🚨︎ report