24 Hilarious Attorney Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Why did the cow want to be an attorney?

For all the moo law

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👤︎ u/australiagiraffeman

📅︎ Nov 24 2020

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Guys, I have a question. Me and a friend are arguing about the setting of the Ace Attorney games.

He keeps telling me its LA, but its gotta be Phoenix, right?

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👤︎ u/SilverStoneX1

📅︎ Nov 20 2020

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Why won't the bird defense attorney speak to more than one crow at a time?

Because anything more than one is murder.

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👤︎ u/TeslaFan900

📅︎ Oct 11 2020

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Attorney Lex Lawson seeks out elegant and luxurious cafes wherever he goes. He has been widely recognized as a persistent .........

ambience chaser

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👤︎ u/bardbelle

📅︎ Aug 10 2020

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What do you call a crocodile that is an attorney?

A litigator.

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👤︎ u/UserCheckNamesOut

📅︎ Apr 28 2020

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What do you call a priest who's also an attorney?

Father-in-Law.

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👤︎ u/ebarnhard1983

📅︎ Jul 01 2019

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What do you call an attractive female attorney?

prosecutie

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👤︎ u/warpedddd

📅︎ Jun 22 2019

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What sort of cocktail does an attorney drink?

Subpoeña coladas

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👤︎ u/Saltycook

📅︎ Jun 29 2019

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Did you hear about the U2 fanclub that's just for attorneys?

It's called Pro Bono.

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👤︎ u/themeadows00

📅︎ Apr 25 2019

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What kinda suit does an attorney use for court?

A Law-suit. (Impossible that I'm the first person to think this).

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👤︎ u/trichard311

📅︎ Jun 15 2018

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My dad's amazing driving advice to my sister: "I can replace any mailbox you hit. If you collide with a cop car, I've got a good attorney. If you run over a nun, God will forgive you. But if you hit my truck, you better leave the f***ing country."

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👤︎ u/iwillhavethat

📅︎ Mar 04 2018

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The prosecuting attorney would lose every trial because he was too namby-pamby...

He had a lack of conviction that led to a lack of conviction.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Apr 10 2019

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What's the difference between guacamole and a Hispanic attorney?

One is made of avocado, and the other is an abogado.

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👤︎ u/Spotted_Lady

📅︎ Apr 29 2018

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When all hope was lost in the courtroom, the defendant attorney suddenly came out of some luggage and won the trial with efficiency and success.

It was a brief case.

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👤︎ u/BustZaNuto

📅︎ Jan 28 2019

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What does a an Attorney wear to work?

A Law-Suit.

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👤︎ u/bad11ama

📅︎ Nov 20 2018

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The district attorney might be cute.

But the prosecutor.

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👤︎ u/dudecancode

📅︎ Nov 20 2018

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My attorney friend must really like the group U2

He is always talking about being Pro-Bono

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👤︎ u/DinglebarryHandpump

📅︎ Oct 20 2018

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Why was the District Attorney happy to see storm clouds?

Because every prosecutor loves arraigny day!

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👤︎ u/SpenceMan01

📅︎ Sep 04 2018

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Divorce attorneys and waiters in Prague have a lot in common

For example, they’re both often asked to separate Czechs

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👤︎ u/garboooge

📅︎ Jul 11 2018

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An attorney was offered a chance to play the role of William Shakespeare in a movie, but had to respectfully decline...

"I can't," the lawyer said. "I'd be dis Bard."

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👤︎ u/Propyl_People_Ether

📅︎ Jun 01 2018

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My wife's parents are both attorneys

I hate in when the at-laws visit.

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👤︎ u/chicachibi

📅︎ Apr 19 2017

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Did you hear about the attorney that died at Phelps and Phelps?

The others were feeling Phelpless.

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👤︎ u/xray31

📅︎ Jun 02 2017

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My son has recently decided to become a defense attorney

I guess you could say he's my son in law...

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👤︎ u/ojcoolj

📅︎ Apr 19 2015

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How do orthodontists pay their attorneys?

They keep them on retainer.

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👤︎ u/skryfy

📅︎ May 15 2016

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