I'm worried that the supreme court will lack empathy now that Ginsburg is gone.

Without her they're ruthless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudefaceguy_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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What do you call a girl in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette

πŸ‘︎ 183
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spiderkc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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I was told not to eat the candy in court...

Those are judge mints

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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World renowned tongue twister champion was officially charged in court today

They gave him a tough sentence. He got off better than his accomplice, The semi-colon, who is in between two complete sentences.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skycooper11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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What’s the best thing to wear to court?

A lawsuit

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueFoxoonys
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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Did you know that Fruit of the Loom (TM) once took Hanes(TM) to court?

It was a BRIEF case.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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The deaf girl didn’t show up to her court case yesterday

She lost her hearing.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeSayAye
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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Why do court room stenographers talk loudly?

Because they’re hearing aides!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/schnaffoo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Why do lawsuits against sand and silt never make it to court?

Sediment always settles

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Took an airline company to court today after my luggage went missing

I lost the case

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigg_UN
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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Why did Democratic senators boycott the nomination of the new Supreme Court justice?

They just couldn’t Barrett.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BornOfAVegan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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I don't know what decisions the Supreme Court will make in 2021 but one thing is for sure...

They will be ruthless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hallsguide
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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I’m representing a man in court today charged with tippexing all the full stops out of books.

I’m expecting a long sentence

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jepeggys
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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The tall guy who tips off the ball to start basketball games was found deceased at mid-court...

Dead center.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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BREAKING: The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Dad Jokes.

They deemed it cool and amusable pun-ishment

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clifwith1f
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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(Too soon) looks the the Supreme Court is...

Ruthless

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MacSteele13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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I stole a lawyer’s underwear right before court.

There’s no way he’ll succeed without his legal briefs.

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IMadeItGuys
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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Why can't beggers be allowed in court for selection to the Jury box like any other non felon citizen?

Cuz, beggers can't be choosers!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imgprojts
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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He won't be allowed to court anyways
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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A fish goes to court for murder

The fish is found β€œgill”ty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/26SobbingHorses
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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The harsh reality of soup court v.redd.it/gb9mcsnnk9a51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/observer2017
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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What does a lawyer wear to court

A lawsuit

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πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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Why did noone in the King's Court laugh when the King farted?

Because noble gases don't cause a reaction.

Credit to u/neitral-fella r/dadjokes doesn't allow crossposting but I thought it belonged here

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tricky_Nick007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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The court released the suspect on the grounds of being on an armor show on the night of the murder ...

it was an ironclad alibi!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/troy_lc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Mario in court

Judge :I order you to pay 10,000$ Mario: why Judge: it’s a fine Mario : no itsa not

I didn’t come up with this just thought it was funny

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elliott268
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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What type of underwear do lawyers wear to court?

Legal briefs

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IMadeItGuys
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was Helium in court?

He broke the law of gravity

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StrijderMilan
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Why was the chicken held in contempt of court?

For laying under oath.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A student is arrested and brought to court for carrying a weapon to his morning lecture

Judge: Why did you bring a taser to your lecture?

Defendent: Well you see sir, I have a hard time getting up in the morning. But I’m not a big fan of soft drinks or coffee, so I thought the next best thing was to give me a good shock.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pumped_Pipe
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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I recently took an airline to court after my luggage didn’t turn up...

I lost my case.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wizzix
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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[In court] Judge: After seeing all the evidence, I am sending you to jail.

Defendant: Say-you-did-what.

Judge: What did you say?

Defendant: Thanks for reversing my sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Judge: Order in the court!

Me: I'll have a cheeseburger and fries

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My Chinese friend has to go to court,

But I will fetch Himalaya

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShireSearcher
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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Supreme Court
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tjc72006
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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What do police officers wear to court?

Their lawsuits

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBoiBoots
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A man took an airline to court after they misplaced his luggage.

He lost his case

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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The Supreme Court is still in session without Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

So far, their decisions have been ruthless.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavideoandPhoto
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the court jester who ate too much at the king's banquet?

Fool

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
The Energizer bunny’s wife is taking him to court.

He’s charged with battery

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frupp110
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
There should be a manly constipation medication called "Court Marshall."

"You are now relieved of duty!"

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did no one in the King's court laugh when the King farted ?

Because noble gases don't cause a reaction.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
what do you call a woman who can stretch her legs across a tennis court?

Annette

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/necroplasmic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A couple is divorcing in court, and they are fighting for custody of their only child:

The woman tries to pity the judge: -Judge, I carried this child 9 months in my belly, it is the flesh of my flesh and it comes directly to me! The judge is moved and says: -Right mam, but now, lets listen to your husband's arguments. The man prefers to use his pragmatic side, and says: -Judge, when I put my coin in the vending machine,Is the can mine or is it to the machine?

πŸ‘︎ 329
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elouan_lrch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Who keeps order in the food court?

The bay leaf.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theycallmehokie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Energizer has to appear before court

They were convicted for a case of battery

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grimbelfix
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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