Why did the cow want to be an attorney?

For all the moo law

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Guys, I have a question. Me and a friend are arguing about the setting of the Ace Attorney games.

He keeps telling me its LA, but its gotta be Phoenix, right?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilverStoneX1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Why won't the bird defense attorney speak to more than one crow at a time?

Because anything more than one is murder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeslaFan900
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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Jesus was known to be a carpenter, but I've always gotten the feeling that he would make a great attorney.

He was quite the cross-examiner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/law_daddy_esq
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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Did you hear about the U2 fanclub that's just for attorneys?

It's called Pro Bono.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/themeadows00
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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My dad's amazing driving advice to my sister: "I can replace any mailbox you hit. If you collide with a cop car, I've got a good attorney. If you run over a nun, God will forgive you. But if you hit my truck, you better leave the f***ing country."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iwillhavethat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2018
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The prosecuting attorney would lose every trial because he was too namby-pamby...

He had a lack of conviction that led to a lack of conviction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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What's the difference between guacamole and a Hispanic attorney?

One is made of avocado, and the other is an abogado.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
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When all hope was lost in the courtroom, the defendant attorney suddenly came out of some luggage and won the trial with efficiency and success.

It was a brief case.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BustZaNuto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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My attorney friend must really like the group U2

He is always talking about being Pro-Bono

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
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Why was the District Attorney happy to see storm clouds?

Because every prosecutor loves arraigny day!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpenceMan01
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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An attorney was offered a chance to play the role of William Shakespeare in a movie, but had to respectfully decline...

"I can't," the lawyer said. "I'd be dis Bard."

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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Did you hear about the attorney that died at Phelps and Phelps?

The others were feeling Phelpless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xray31
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2017
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You’re Hired!

A very skilled attorney interviews for a job at a prestigious firm. The managing partner looks over his resume and exclaims with glee, β€œOh my goodness! You’re so experienced! You’re hired, and you can name your salary!”

The interviewee paused for a moment and said β€œThank you. I’d like to call mine Dennis.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JakeMann220
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer?

A father in law...

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2017
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[Request] Can anyone please help me come up with a business name that is a Bob's Burgers-level pun?

The neighboring store front and exterminator van in the opening credits have the best punny business names and always crack me up. I'm a fan and would love to name my business in a similar fashion. ETA Examples: I'd Hit That Boxing Gym. Lady and the Clamp, Hardware for Her. A Fridge Too Far. Cupid's Stupid, Divorce Attorneys. A Ton in the Oven, Big and Tall Baby Clothes. Let's Scissor! Collage Studio. Don't Stop Bereaving, Grief Counseling.

But I am So. Stuck.

A little background about my business idea: I'm a personal/sometimes virtual assistant specializing in household admin and management. I'm marketing mostly towards blue collar men who might be widows/divorcees who never had to worry about the general finances and household paperwork. Some of the services offered are: budget setting, bill paying, appointment setting/calendar management, travel arrangements, errands, personal & grocery shopping, pet & house sitting, etc...

I'm ready to take the next steps in making this an actual business and take out some ad space, but the perfectionist in me NEEDS a brilliant name. Can someone please help me? The best I can come up with is some sort of play on Pepper Potts, but I see quite a few VAs out there with that as a business name. I will gift a platinum to the one I like the best if that's appropriate.

Thank you in advance! πŸ”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmElleGee31
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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If you're injured, call the law offices of...

Passing a billboard for the law offices of Powell, Powell, and Powell, I said to my wife, "Those are the attorneys I would call."

"Why?"

"They're obviously the most Powell-ful firm in town."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hossalicious
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2016
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I used to be in charge of my aging parents estate, but my brother was bitten by a radioactive lawyer.

Now he has the power of attorney

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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Court Chester: Cell of the Century

Chester, the defendant, stood in front of the judge's imposing bench, waiting patiently for the reason why he was there. To further muddle the moment, he stared at items unfamiliar to him, at least in that context.

Perched on and near His Honor's desk were the following: A DuraLast Ultra in one car with a long, black cord stretching to another car, several alkaline D cells plugged into a black box, and lastly, a cell phone with its cord sticking into the wall.

Finally removing Chester's questioned look was his attorney leaning into his ear to whisper, "It's official, now: You're facing battery charges."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bradstros
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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Pun finding help: immigration edition

If you have any ideas about puns involving the terms immigration attorney, immigration and customs enforcement/ICE, and puns about immigration detention that would be amazing.

You guys are immigreat, thanks so much!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Noah271
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2017
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Remember the story where a woman assaulted a police officer by spraying her with breast milk?

If I were her attorney, I could get a not-guilty verdict using the First Amendment. She was exercising her freedom of expression.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
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A fan of U2 is claiming that his hearing was damaged at one of the band's recent concerts.

The fan is planning to sue, and U2 is looking for a pro Bono attorney.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HAL9000000
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2014
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