that I haven't heard of a single dispensary referring to itself as a "cannabusiness"
... fully lawful to feel awful after getting full off all that falafel.
Labor day I was born a pun and I love it. I'm legally pun
Can't have shit in Detroit.
Bi son!
Because he didn’t see that well.
Yeah, they’re calling it their stimulant package!
That’s a lot of wasted votes
I’m so upset that we cantaloupe
After all, possession is 9/10ths of the law.
The shorts house
Dad: “Well I’m no legal expert, but I suspect there’d be some trees in there.”
They both love quack
Where there’s a will, there’s a whey.
I’m going to name my son Phil and from that point on everything I do will be for my son. That’s my Phil Osophy.
Oh, and by the way, those flashing lights on top of your car look really stupid.
It was too hard to hide it from the cops.
He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:
-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!
Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.
-Ok, so... your current name is.. ·chuckles· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...
-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.
After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.
-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?
-Charles Fart.
...so I hide my cane every time the cops are around.
You can legally put down one
It’s for legal porpoises
Because that would be
E-legal.
And I am not going to quit until I am Finish!
They call it, Coles law
Where there's a will, there's a whey.
The sue-saphone
It would be called Operation Pot Holes
A gnomicide.
Bears.. they have a right to bear arms
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
“Yes of course” replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit ➡When they go low, we get high.
Husband, "legally a brother and sister can't get married"
Because he couldn’t see that well
He will be rolling in his grave.
