I've already heard like seven cancer puns today...
If I hear tumor it's gonna benign
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Nov 24 2019
I lost my left nut to a cancer scare. So now when someone asks me how I am
I can say "I am all right. Literally"
ποΈ 18
π
οΈ Jun 06 2021
My Aunt lost her battle to beat Mesothelioma cancer.
She did Asbestos she could.
ποΈ 14
π
οΈ Jun 06 2021
My friend who's at a high risk for breast cancer had a masectomy recently to prevent it
She said it's a huge weight off her chest
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Jun 03 2021
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didnt beat cancer
Edit: difference between ME and cancer
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Apr 21 2021
What do you do when your pet dinosaur gets cancer?
Take it to a paleoncologist!
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Mar 09 2021
A gambler visited rain forests every day and ended up getting penile cancer
I guess he was hitting the wrong sloths
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Feb 18 2021
Whatβs a cancer patientβs favorite part of playing Bingo?
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Jan 17 2021
Next week I will learn if I have cancer.
The suspense is killing me.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Jan 28 2021
When the doctors told me I have cancer I laughed my ass off
they said I have a great sense of tumour
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Nov 23 2020
My mother's zodiac was Cancer, which is ironic
because she died from a giant crab.
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Nov 08 2020
Mobile phones cause cancer...
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Dec 22 2020
I had a cancer scare recently. The doctor said I may have full blown colon cancer
Thankfully itβs just semicolon cancer
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Oct 02 2020
OC posted in honor of my dear father-in-law, who died of cancer today
Apologies for not following the usual formatting. My father-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago. A few weeks ago, we learned it had spread to his brain. Later that day, he told me:
βWell, everyone came by after they heard about the lung cancer and told me how strong and great I am, and that Iβd beat lung cancer...β
pauses for effect
β...I guess I let it go to my head.β
Edit: thank you all for the kind words (and the silver/gold/platinum...Iβll be making matching gifts to St. Judeβs or a similar organization).
Yes he was a great man. At age 20 he was given 3 months to live due to another βincurableβ disease. He stuck around for another 45+ years. I could go on and on...
ποΈ 19k
π
οΈ Apr 17 2019
While paying for groceries at a local store ,they had reusable shopping bags with the breast cancer awareness ribbon on them with a handwritten sign that said $.99 for a better tomorrow.
I asked the young girl at the register "If I buy this and don't have a better tomorrow can I return it for a refund?"
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Nov 17 2020
I made a medicine using ducks that can cure cancer...
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Oct 30 2020
The opposite of cancer...
ποΈ 30
π
οΈ Aug 20 2020
My wife screens patients for breast cancer
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Sep 05 2020
Doesnt cause cancer!
ποΈ 20
π
οΈ May 08 2020
Science has found that honeybee venom helps kill aggressive breast cancer cells.
They've updated their name reflecting their new job to Boobees.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Sep 01 2020
I had breast cancer once...
Those were some bad mammaries.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Sep 04 2020
I surprised a kid in the hospital with cancer on his birthday
Sadly, he already had cancer
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Sep 01 2020
Dark humor is like Kids that have cancer...
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Jul 26 2020
I bought some engine cleaner. The label said βKnown to cause cancer in the state of California.β
Good thing Iβm using it in Missouri.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Apr 26 2020
My Dad is currently riding his bicycle across America to raise awareness for Colon Cancer...
[and posted a picture of him and his bike on a rest day.] (https://i.imgur.com/IapqomG.png)
Edit: Whoa this is getting popular. I live on the other side of the world, and am about to go to bed, but I am just going to put his [donation page] (http://ccf.convio.net/site/TR?px=3433802&fr_id=1580&pg=personal) at the top of the post if anyone is interested. It is no big deal, but if someone is looking, I thought I'd put it at the top. Either way, you all are going to make his day when I show him how many people appreciated his joke. I just hope this doesn't mean that I have to laugh at all of them from now on...
ποΈ 5k
π
οΈ Oct 26 2017
My dad lost his leg to cancer earlier this year. Today he tweeted this:
ποΈ 7k
π
οΈ Jul 21 2017
My aunt's astrological sign was cancer, funny to consider how she died
She was killed by a giant crab
ποΈ 200
π
οΈ May 21 2019
My friends star sign was cancer and it was quite ironic how he died really
He was attacked by a giant crab
ποΈ 131
π
οΈ Jun 11 2019
The United States is a cancer.
Its birthday is July 4th.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Feb 22 2020
Why did the beef brisket catch lung cancer?
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Mar 14 2020
Why does my cancer doctor let me phone her any time day or night?
Because she's an on-call-ogist
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Mar 28 2020
The leading cause of cancer in lab rats
ποΈ 18
π
οΈ Jan 16 2020
Alex Tribek was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer
... I guess his life is in Jeopardy
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Mar 07 2019
what did the pancreatic cancer say to the lung cancer after the lung cancer told him to clean his room?
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Mar 10 2020
I donβt know why people say cancer is hard to beat
ποΈ 47
π
οΈ Jun 13 2019
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Sep 16 2019
I found a spot of cancer on my bingo card.
But don't worry, it was B9.
ποΈ 28
π
οΈ Nov 01 2019
The Testicular Cancer Clinic called me to ask whether I got their email. I said no.
They said, βMaybe you should check your junk.β
ποΈ 117
π
οΈ Feb 26 2019
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.
... Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Sep 19 2019
I've already heard like seven cancer puns today...
If I hear tumor it's gonna benign
ποΈ 2k
π
οΈ Jun 20 2018
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Mar 22 2021
Whatβs the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didnβt beat cancer.
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Mar 12 2021
OC posted in honor of my dear father-in-law, who died of cancer today
Apologies for not following the usual formatting. My father-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago. A few weeks ago, we learned it had spread to his brain. Later that day, he told me:
βWell, everyone came by after they heard about the lung cancer and told me how strong and great I am, and that Iβd beat lung cancer...β
pauses for effect
β...I guess I let it go to my head.β
Edit: thank you all for the kind words (and the silver/gold/platinum...Iβll be making matching gifts to St. Judeβs or a similar organization).
Yes he was a great man. At age 20 he was given 3 months to live due to another βincurableβ disease. He stuck around for another 45+ years. I could go on and on...
ποΈ 27
π
οΈ Apr 11 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.