Pneumonia Puns

Oldmonia

Before it becomes oldmonia?

Me: Yes doc, once before.

Doctor: When?

Me: In school, when the teacher asked me to spell it.

Is just an updated version of Poldmonia.

'Dave recovered from pneumonia last week. He now has oldmonia.'

My sister mentioned that her friend Mona is in the hospital and might have pneumonia Dad: If you had that it would be called pneustacia My name is Stacey

My mom tells me I was hospitalized with pneumonia after handling a bat.

Frankly, I'm amazed all baseball players don't have it.

The p is silent.

Y U No LiK PaSTa?

My dad is a Navy Vietnam vet who is about to be a retired GM electrical engineer. He is retiring against his will because he has had three strokes, colon cancer, a pulmonary embolism, necrotic esophagus, renal failure, pneumonia, basically a medical shitstorm and he survived it all. In the process, he has lost a lot of memory and quite a bit of his cognitive abilities and furthermore, his balance. However, when I took out the trash tonight at nearly half past ten, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful the stars looked outside tonight. So upon returning, I told my mom and dad "The stars sure are bright tonight. They look amazing." To which my dad then asked, "You know why they're so bright, right?" Now I'm an amateur astronomer. Hell, my first and only telescope was inherited to me by my mother who got it from her father. So knowing its winter and I live in Michigan, I tell my father, "Because its so cold and dry, the star light isn't blocked as much?" His reply; "No. Its because the sun went down. So now its darker outside." Dad: 1. Me: -5.

Backstory: Family friend has a new job, he's an Undertaker. He was in hospital because of a serious lung infection.

Dad: 'By the way [family friend] is an Undertaker now'.

Me: 'what!? Of all jobs I would have never have guessed that'.

Dad: 'yeh it surprised me too, he was in hospital not too long ago and was in a bad way'.

Step mother: 'yeh he had something with his lungs, an infection I think like pneumonia, almost killed him' .

Dad: 'doesn't surprise me though with him being in hospital, probably because of all that coffin'.

Dad: starts giggling to himself.

Me: 'really?...'.

Dad: 'what? I thought that was quite good'.

He has his moments.

She has pneumonia and was not able to go trick or treating this year. I told her how was sick on Halloween once but I got into my mummy costume and went trick or treating anyway, vomited after going to one house and then went back home.

Daughter: "Wow Dad, you were dead-icated."

I am so proud of her. She is 6.

My mom was admitted to the hospital today for bilateral pneumonia. Thankfully they said just for a night so they could get some IV antibiotics in her system. Dad texted me a picture of her lunch (she has PKU so no protein allowed) http://i.imgur.com/xzcTSkT.jpg

Frank's mother is sick in the hospital. When Michael says to Uncle Pa Keating, "she's got pneumonia." Uncle Pa replied, "well now that's better than oldmonia"