A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"

Slim to Nun?

(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)

πŸ‘︎ 28k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/megad1rt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to suffer from multiple personality disorder,

but we're okay now.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CNRavenclaw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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I was attacked by a gang of people with Obsessive–compulsive disorder.

It was organized crime.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
"I have a split personality disorder"

Said Tom being Frank

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheViralClovers
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bovine with an eating disorder?

A BULLimic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rickyburrito
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear with a mental disorder?

A bi-polar bear

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/halloom1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I got diagnosed with a bleeding disorder today.

I'm just trying to B positive.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wspoons5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor : "It seems like you have multiple personality disorder"

Me : "Who? Me or me?"

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Allgen
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I worked with a guy with pultiple personality disorder once

"I hate having MPD" said Tom, being frank.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theverywetbanana
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a banana with multiple personality disorder?

Bananas

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boboknowsall
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I have bi-polar disorder...

... But all things considered I'm actually doing quite well half the time.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trollcitybandit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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What do you call when two persons with multiple identity disorder fall in love with each other

An open relationship

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doktorstrange7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Mexican guy with an anxiety disorder?

Hispanic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Winter-Coffin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Marijuana causes users to become so mellow that they may lose all interest in things that are important. It's a tension deficit disorder.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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Dyslexia is an Alphabetical Disorder.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumblelord
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve got a rare sight disorder from watching Mary Poppins too many times... it called umdiddleyumdiddleyumdiddley eye.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend left me after my iguana was diagnosed with a seizure disorder.

She said she couldn’t date a man with a reptile dysfunction

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jayytown
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
[request] Puns about drinks that can be related to mental health disorders/moods

Example: Depresso, Anxietea

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keat123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder...

I never knew she was afraid of Santa and polar bears

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samrf1202
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My doctor just diagnosed me with bipolar disorder.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
🚨︎ report
I was recently diagnosed with SED. Suppressed Enthusiasm Disorder.

I’m not sure how to feel about it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItzDomos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I found this new rock band that has obsessive compulsive disorder

They're called OCDC

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big_Help
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Sometimes when houses have personality disorders...

They develop attic.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ponderingfox
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
🚨︎ report
I have social anxiety disorder that’s why I’m always SAD
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/halagabir
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad has a rare genetic disorder that he passed down to me.

He poops his pants every hour on the hour. Needles to say I have really shitty genes

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/choochngoose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2017
🚨︎ report
What fluid gives you bi-polar disorder?

Pepto-Dismal

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AHumanPeople
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Why can't a cyclops have multiple personality disorder?

Because it has only one I.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2017
🚨︎ report
So I just realized Pangea is the cure to bi-polar disorder.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealOneofseven
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2017
🚨︎ report
Microsoft's search engine is the best one for adult entertainment (porn). But after I used it, I cleared my browser history. I might have a disorder, because...

I Binged and purged.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pjabrony
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a priest has multiple personality disorder?

They've got an altar ego.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dimentioze
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2014
🚨︎ report
I was at the mall the other day, and I overheard two women talking about someone they know who has narcissistic personality disorder.

I'm pretty sure they were talking about me.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grousing_pheasant
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2014
🚨︎ report
Discussing spinal disorders at breakfast...

Kid: "What's that disease called, the one that makes your spine all curved?"

Mom: "That's Scoliosis. It can also mess up your ribcage and shoulders."

Me: "The people who discovered Scoliosis actually had it themselves. It was a husband and wife team. I think their last name was Dover...

Kids: staring intensifies

Me: "... Ben Dover, and his wife Ilene Dover."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Technohazard
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
🚨︎ report
I think I have an eating disorder.

I keep biting my cheek.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KJax1776
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2015
🚨︎ report
My eating disorder

I'm overweight so this is one of my favorites: I'm half bulimic, I binge-eat but don't purge, as a result I'm now anorexic, coz every time I look in the mirror I see a fat person.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fondles_McGraw
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2015
🚨︎ report
I decided to donate my recent winnings in am eating contest to an organisation for eating disorders

They refused, claimed it was tasteless

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeroenemans
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2014
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Lionel Richie's wife has multiple personality disorder?

Apparently she is once, twice, three times a lady!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HardlyNetworking
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2014
🚨︎ report
I have a multi-personality disorder

And so do I

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mariataytay
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2013
🚨︎ report

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