A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
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︎ Aug 18 2020
I used to suffer from multiple personality disorder,
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︎ Sep 11 2020
I was attacked by a gang of people with Obsessiveβcompulsive disorder.
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︎ Jun 10 2020
"I have a split personality disorder"
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︎ Jul 27 2020
What do you call a bovine with an eating disorder?
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︎ Jul 19 2020
What do you call a bear with a mental disorder?
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︎ Jul 12 2020
I got diagnosed with a bleeding disorder today.
I'm just trying to B positive.
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Doctor : "It seems like you have multiple personality disorder"
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︎ May 27 2020
I worked with a guy with pultiple personality disorder once
"I hate having MPD" said Tom, being frank.
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︎ Feb 28 2020
What do you call a banana with multiple personality disorder?
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︎ Dec 13 2019
I have bi-polar disorder...
... But all things considered I'm actually doing quite well half the time.
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︎ Nov 26 2019
What do you call when two persons with multiple identity disorder fall in love with each other
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︎ Nov 14 2019
What do you call a Mexican guy with an anxiety disorder?
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︎ Sep 27 2019
Marijuana causes users to become so mellow that they may lose all interest in things that are important. It's a tension deficit disorder.
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︎ Oct 06 2019
Dyslexia is an Alphabetical Disorder.
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︎ May 22 2019
Iβve got a rare sight disorder from watching Mary Poppins too many times... it called umdiddleyumdiddleyumdiddley eye.
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︎ Sep 08 2019
My girlfriend left me after my iguana was diagnosed with a seizure disorder.
She said she couldnβt date a man with a reptile dysfunction
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︎ Jul 15 2019
[request] Puns about drinks that can be related to mental health disorders/moods
Example: Depresso, Anxietea
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︎ Oct 02 2018
My wife was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder...
I never knew she was afraid of Santa and polar bears
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︎ May 01 2019
My doctor just diagnosed me with bipolar disorder.
I donβt know whether to laugh or cry.
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︎ Sep 07 2018
I was recently diagnosed with SED. Suppressed Enthusiasm Disorder.
Iβm not sure how to feel about it.
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︎ Apr 01 2019
I found this new rock band that has obsessive compulsive disorder
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︎ Jan 10 2019
Sometimes when houses have personality disorders...
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︎ Apr 07 2018
I have social anxiety disorder thatβs why Iβm always SAD
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︎ Oct 13 2017
My dad has a rare genetic disorder that he passed down to me.
He poops his pants every hour on the hour. Needles to say I have really shitty genes
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︎ Mar 31 2017
What fluid gives you bi-polar disorder?
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︎ Nov 05 2017
Why can't a cyclops have multiple personality disorder?
Because it has only one I.
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︎ Jun 19 2017
So I just realized Pangea is the cure to bi-polar disorder.
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︎ Mar 24 2017
Microsoft's search engine is the best one for adult entertainment (porn). But after I used it, I cleared my browser history. I might have a disorder, because...
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︎ Apr 08 2015
What do you call it when a priest has multiple personality disorder?
They've got an altar ego.
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︎ Dec 28 2014
I was at the mall the other day, and I overheard two women talking about someone they know who has narcissistic personality disorder.
I'm pretty sure they were talking about me.
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︎ Oct 14 2014
Discussing spinal disorders at breakfast...
Kid: "What's that disease called, the one that makes your spine all curved?"
Mom: "That's Scoliosis. It can also mess up your ribcage and shoulders."
Me: "The people who discovered Scoliosis actually had it themselves. It was a husband and wife team. I think their last name was Dover...
Kids: staring intensifies
Me: "... Ben Dover, and his wife Ilene Dover."
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︎ Oct 13 2015
I think I have an eating disorder.
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︎ Dec 10 2015
My eating disorder
I'm overweight so this is one of my favorites: I'm half bulimic, I binge-eat but don't purge, as a result I'm now anorexic, coz every time I look in the mirror I see a fat person.
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︎ Dec 12 2015
I decided to donate my recent winnings in am eating contest to an organisation for eating disorders
They refused, claimed it was tasteless
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︎ Oct 15 2014
Did you hear that Lionel Richie's wife has multiple personality disorder?
Apparently she is once, twice, three times a lady!
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︎ Jun 23 2014
I have a multi-personality disorder
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︎ Aug 15 2013
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