What do you call a swimming creature that hates violence?

A pacifish

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📅︎ Dec 10 2020
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Fruit on Fruit Violence.
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📅︎ Feb 19 2020
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The school made the use of "bullet points" illegal because it incited violence in the classroom, and I must admit I couldn't have cared less. That's all changed now, though.

The bus driver isn't allowed to drive my kids anymore because we live on a dead end street.

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📅︎ Aug 16 2020
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I guess video games did cause violence
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📅︎ Apr 11 2020
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Lots of violence could have been prevented in the Old West.

If only the cowboy architects had made the towns big enough for everyone else.

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📅︎ Mar 22 2020
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The new "Joker" movie is rated R for Strong bloody violence, language, disturbing behavior and brief sexual images"..

I guess you could say that the "Joker" without an R is just a joke.

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👤︎ u/grmnlad
📅︎ Oct 15 2019
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I'm going to name my son Violence.

If he's smart, I can tell my friends that Violence solves problems.

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📅︎ Sep 22 2016
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The next Pirates of the Caribbean movie is going to have more violence and nudity

It's going to be rated "Arrr..."

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📅︎ Jun 08 2019
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The Cycle Of Violence
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📅︎ Aug 05 2018
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Violence should be your second-to-last resort;

Your last resort should be assisting your victim in whatever they are doing.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

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📅︎ Jan 10 2019
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What do you call a vegetable that hates violence?

Peace

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👤︎ u/50_Paise
📅︎ Feb 08 2019
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I invented a device that can detect physical violence

It runs on a watch battery.

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📅︎ Jul 28 2018
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If people ever decide to make a pirate movie with lots of violence/gore/nudity...

...they should be advertising it as an Arrr-rated movie.

'Cause you know, pirates yell that from time to time... I'll show myself out, thanks.

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📅︎ Dec 14 2015
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Dad's dating violence joke

Dad: What did you do at school today? Me: I went to a dating violence assembly. Dad: Why would you ever want to date violence. Me: groan

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👤︎ u/ace7195
📅︎ Feb 12 2015
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Artistic violence

I was reading the news and saw a piece about a cartoonist who was fearing for his life after he dared to draw Muhammed in a comic. He had to go into hiding after his house was burglarized.

ME: Hey, did you hear about the cartoonist who's house was broken into?

My wife: No, what happened?

ME: Oh, he drew this cartoon about Muhammed and apparently that's very offensive in some cultures and so some extremists were...

My wife: disappointed Oh...I thought it was going to be a joke...

ME: Alright...hey, did you hear about the cartoonist who's house was broken into? He had to DRAW his GUN!

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📅︎ Sep 27 2013
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"Violence isn't something to joke about."

"but it's a hell of a punchline!"

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👤︎ u/Judoshop
📅︎ Apr 13 2014
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The next Pirates of the Caribbean movie is going to have more violence and nudity

It's going to be rated "Arrr..."

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📅︎ Jun 08 2019
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