I fell asleep during Catholic mass.

I'm a Bored Again Christian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teeim
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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I thought I found a mass grave of snowmen yesterday....

.....but it turned out to be a field of carrots.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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What do you call a large land mass that uncontrollably leaks into the ocean?

Incontinent

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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I asked my Dad β€œWhat’s the difference between weight and mass?”

β€œWell, son. Weight is your size in relation to the Earth’s gravity.

Mass is what Catholics go to Sunday morning.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shakes-Fear
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Let’s just ignore the fact that would cause mass traffic
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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We have migrated from mass hysteria to mask hysteria.
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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This gives a whole new meaning to Mass Shooting!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuanTanio
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Where do large sea mammals go to get their body mass measured?

The Whale-weigh station

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jazzysax241
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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Why is a Catholic Mass like The Gunfight At The O.K. Corral?

Pew! Pew! Pew!...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jon-A
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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Did you hear the one about the mass murderer who only hunted vegetarians?

He was a Serial Kaler

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bruce_Wang007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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Electrons have mass?!

I didn’t even know they were catholic!

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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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You're living, you occupy space, and you have mass. You know what that means?

You matter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPanda666
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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Why doesn’t light have mass?

If it did, it would’ve be called heavy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JensFleur
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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A woman is running up the front stairs of a church. She asks the boy sitting at the top, "Is mass out?" The little boy looks at her and says...

"No, but your hat's on crooked."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sineofthetimes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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Churches had to disband when it was announced there would be no more mass gatherings.

They followed the guidance religiously.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Chosen_Pun_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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I just checked my body mass index. It says I'm a beast

Oh wait. I'm obese

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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If Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, there would be mass confusion
πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimHP
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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Black holes are the biggest mass murderers

Literally

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FeZzUs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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High mass in the extraordinary form
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prlmn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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"Mass confusion"
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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Where did they used to mass produce scents and smells?

At the olfactory

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greatreference
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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Did you know that protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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There was this news reporter who enjoyed incorporating puns into their reports. One day, they had to cover the story of a mass stabbing. Unfortunately, the reporter couldn't think of a pun so they just sighed and went on to report the news how it was...

"Sorry, no pun n' ten dead"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fluffy627
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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Mass confusion
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HansProductions
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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Mass confusion
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ljiang24
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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The media says that video games is a main cause for mass shootings

But really, it's music that causes gun violins

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BattlePants8154
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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What did the vegan say at mass

Lettuce pray

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tydyelove7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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How do you measure the mass of a Red Hot Chili Pepper?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RzRshRp98
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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Pretty old mass joke ngl

Why doesn't the usa change their measures from pounds to kgs?

Because it would cause mass confusion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CocozuBR
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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Why did the pope wear crocs to mass?

Because they're his holey shoes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GmanV357
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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Mass
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hufflypuffly723
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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Did you know that protons have mass?

I had no clue they were Catholic!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/huhmanrawx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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I was going to make a pun about Mass Effect...

...but I figure if I did, I'd be Asari.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
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My very religious Aunt attends mass daily.

She says that's because missing church for seven days makes one weak!

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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You’re living, you occupy space and you have mass you know what that means... (stolen from tumblr)

You matter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DenverCav0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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I put on a show about grams. It was a mass production
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leo6846
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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How do you murder mass?

You killagram

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πŸ‘€︎ u/history_yea
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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What do you call a white woolly mass snoring on a field?

A sleep

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wavetune
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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Dad just texted me this, caused a mass groan when I read it out to the people I was with

Someone through threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me. Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BetweenTheCheeks
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2014
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My teacher told me protons have mass.

I didn't know protons were Catholic.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alwaysshitting
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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This might cause....mass confusion. bbc.com/news/science-envi…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2018
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What's the mass of that chili pepper?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattmilli1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
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You have to be light in order to have no mass.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ridiqulus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
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Did you know that protons had mass?

I didn't even know they were catholic.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperMegaPepega
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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Did you know that protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were catholic.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stayphreshdnb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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Did you know that protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SideOfInsanity
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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