We have migrated from mass hysteria to mask hysteria.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the mass murderer who only hunted vegetarians?

He was a Serial Kaler

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bruce_Wang007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
This gives a whole new meaning to Mass Shooting!
πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JuanTanio
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
Let’s just ignore the fact that would cause mass traffic
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
Electrons have mass?!

I didn’t even know they were catholic!

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t light have mass?

If it did, it would’ve be called heavy.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JensFleur
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
You're living, you occupy space, and you have mass. You know what that means?

You matter.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPanda666
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
A woman is running up the front stairs of a church. She asks the boy sitting at the top, "Is mass out?" The little boy looks at her and says...

"No, but your hat's on crooked."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sineofthetimes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
I just checked my body mass index. It says I'm a beast

Oh wait. I'm obese

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
Churches had to disband when it was announced there would be no more mass gatherings.

They followed the guidance religiously.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Chosen_Pun_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
Where did they used to mass produce scents and smells?

At the olfactory

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/greatreference
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
Black holes are the biggest mass murderers

Literally

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FeZzUs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
There was this news reporter who enjoyed incorporating puns into their reports. One day, they had to cover the story of a mass stabbing. Unfortunately, the reporter couldn't think of a pun so they just sighed and went on to report the news how it was...

"Sorry, no pun n' ten dead"

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fluffy627
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
Did you know that protons had mass?

I didn't even know they were catholic.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperMegaPepega
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
High mass in the extraordinary form
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prlmn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Mass confusion
πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HansProductions
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
The media says that video games is a main cause for mass shootings

But really, it's music that causes gun violins

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BattlePants8154
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Mass confusion
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ljiang24
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
If Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, there would be mass confusion
πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TimHP
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the vegan say at mass

Lettuce pray

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tydyelove7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the pope wear crocs to mass?

Because they're his holey shoes

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GmanV357
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
"Mass confusion"
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know that photons have no mass?

I mean, light can't be heavy.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cannoning
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Pretty old mass joke ngl

Why doesn't the usa change their measures from pounds to kgs?

Because it would cause mass confusion

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CocozuBR
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you measure the mass of a Red Hot Chili Pepper?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

πŸ‘︎ 237
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RzRshRp98
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Mass
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hufflypuffly723
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A pun walks alone into a mass murder of 10 people..

Pun and ten dead

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The1WhiteBishop
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My very religious Aunt attends mass daily.

She says that's because missing church for seven days makes one weak!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that protons have mass?

I had no clue they were Catholic!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/huhmanrawx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I put on a show about grams. It was a mass production
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Leo6846
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a white woolly mass snoring on a field?

A sleep

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wavetune
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
You’re living, you occupy space and you have mass you know what that means... (stolen from tumblr)

You matter.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DenverCav0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you murder mass?

You killagram

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/history_yea
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to make a pun about Mass Effect...

...but I figure if I did, I'd be Asari.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
My teacher told me protons have mass.

I didn't know protons were Catholic.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alwaysshitting
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
This might cause....mass confusion. bbc.com/news/science-envi…
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What prize will they give you if you start a mass extinction?

A Catas-trophy!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hackerman79_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the mass of that chili pepper?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mattmilli1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Apparently there was a mass shooting at the Gap.

There were a lot of casual tees.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
🚨︎ report
You have to be light in order to have no mass.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ridiqulus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad just texted me this, caused a mass groan when I read it out to the people I was with

Someone through threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me. Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BetweenTheCheeks
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2014
🚨︎ report
The carat, a unit of mass for gemstones, and a measurement of purity for gold, takes its name from the Greek word for a carob seed from the Legume family.

No wonder they are called the Pirates of the Carob Bean.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I just heard that Black Holes have mass

...didn't even know they was Catholic...

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iack4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
An antimatter-based weapon would literally be a weapon of mass-destruction reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shubhamk123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
🚨︎ report
You have mass and occupy space. You know what that means?
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AmazingandAwkward
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the vegetable priest say during mass?

Lettuce pray

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Syhrr_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Of course photons don't have mass...

...they are traveling light.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lmxbftw
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2017
🚨︎ report
I found a mass grave today, full of dead snowmen...

"Dave!" shouted my wife. "Come away from the pond!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What do Catholics get during mass on Halloween?

Christ Krispie Treats.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nougat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2017
🚨︎ report
Today someone told me photons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic!

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neffability
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call something that doesn’t have a mass?

I’m not sure, but certainly not Catholic

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dbouslov
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you hold mass in a hotel?

Glory to God in the Hyatt

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2016
🚨︎ report
Why did the priest let us use our phones in mass this past Wednesday?

Because we were about to be ash-tagged blessed

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ninjaboi333
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2017
🚨︎ report
A new nun got dressed for the day and went to mass.

As she is entering, she trips over. The Mother Superior rushes over to help "It seems you got into a bad habit this morning" Says Mother Superior.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kubrick_Fan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2015
🚨︎ report
Dad: "It wasn't that long for a Catholic wedding, they didn't do a full mass."

Me: "Oh so they half-massed it"?

Groans all around. (This happened 5 minutes ago)

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anyburger
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2016
🚨︎ report
It's funny my old 20 megabyte USB stick is called a "mass storage device".

You'd think it would be a data storage device.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/el_toastradamus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you know that protons have mass?

They're Catholic, you see.

(Full disclosure: I didn't come up with this one myself. I'm not dadly enough for that.)

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xwatchmanx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2015
🚨︎ report
My friend was wearing a shirt that said "End the NSA mass surveillance."

I asked, "Why do you care about the NSA monitoring church gatherings?"

He retorted, "Well, separation of church and state."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FX114
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2014
🚨︎ report
Did you know that protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were catholic.

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stayphreshdnb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SideOfInsanity
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
You living, you occupy space, and you have mass. You know what that means?

You matter.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AF-firm
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2017
🚨︎ report
"Did you know protons have mass?"

"No, I didn't even know they were Catholic!"

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HaHaHarls
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2014
🚨︎ report

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