Heap Puns

Son: "What's it called?"

Dad: "Month."

Son: "Huh?"

Dad: "Apparently it's twice as good as Fortnite".

2B

To my surprise he shrugged and said sure.

On Christmas Day, I excitedly tore open my gift box. To my anger and disappointment, it only contained 10 plastic toy pigs and deers.

“Daaaaaddd!!!!” I wailed in tears.

Dad gave me the biggest shit-eating grin and said “Well, I got you ten sows and bucks just like you asked.”

I just can't think of one ATM

She relished it.

6 year old (serious as heck): Because they are out of toilet paper

As they sit down, the husband offers to go get their dinner. First he waits in line for the roast beef. Then he waits in the line for the potatoes. He he waits in the vegetable line, the bread line, the salad line, and even the gravy line.

He finally returns to the table with two heaping plates of food. “What would you like to drink?” he asks.

“A glass of punch would be nice,” she says. So off he goes to get it. He finds a line for wine, a line for beer, a line for soda, a line for milk, even a line for water. After considering all of his options he gives up and returns to the table empty-handed.

Sometimes there is no punch line.

My daughter told me this joke, which I assume she made up on the spot: “There’s this grandma who has a world famous coleslaw recipe. At her family reunion she makes a huge batch. But her grandson, who hates coleslaw, refuses to have any. The grandma gets angry so her grandson gives in, and she heaps a large amount onto his plate. He stares at it sadly and says “I fought the slaw and the slaw won.”

I'm planning a murder mystery game (you know, where everyone has a character and whatever) and they always have pun titles, but I'm stuck.

It's set in the future, in a semi-dystopian steam punk-inspired kinda setting. A scientist was murdered, while doing research into a new drug that would have had questionable effects on society. I know it's not much to go by, but any ideas?

EDIT: thanks heaps everyone! You guys are awesome!

Yeah, heaps of times.

Me: I just go on reddit during my breaks. I find it a good way to pass time on my phone without using heaps of data like tumblr does Sister: That's true.. but I mainly just read fanfics Me: I'm trying to not read fabrics bc I have so many books to read Sister: Lol you read fabrics? Me: Nah, reddit has better threads than fabrics