Two Hats

What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here. I'll go on a head.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/virtualmeta
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 08 2021
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One hat says to the other,

"You wait here, I’ll go on a head."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2021
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Decorated for Christmas with puns and tiny hats reddit.com/gallery/kkha7r
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sgpostbox
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2020
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What did the tie say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I’ll just hang around for a bit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lucas_sc94
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2021
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Did you know if you and your buddy fart at the same time it makes you Egyptian?

Because you have a Tutankhamun.

Note:I thought of this today I really hope the joke lands.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 493
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TLEToyu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2021
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My hat told me he was leaving me

I said go on a head

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I_Only_Have_One_Hand
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2021
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What does a white hat dropped into the Red Sea become?

Wet

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Irishlamb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2021
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What is the Sorting Hat’s favourite relationship advice?

Slytherin.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FredererPower
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2021
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One of my friends told me he was opening a clothing store that sold everything except for hats.

I thought he was pulling my leg, but when I asked him, he told me "Yeah man it's true, no cap."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MostWheatyOne
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2021
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Computer: choose a password. Me: hi-hat

Computer: password cannot contain symbols

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/beardwithablog
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2020
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What do you call a little guy in a pointy hat on a train saying "tick tick tick"?

A metro-gnome

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/arirr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
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What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?

A slow cooker.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EpisodicDoleWhip
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2020
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What do you call a sad hat?

A somber-ero

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ich-bin-Menschlich
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
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I was unprepared for a pun about Canadian winter hats...

It really toque me by surprise!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RabbitsAteMySnowpeas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2020
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2 hats

2 hats are hanging out at the coat rack at a popular restaurant. 1 says to the other. " you should hang out. I'm gonna go on a head. "

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/captainpimptronics
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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I was in a bar in Texas, when a man walks in wearing a paper cowboy hat, a paper shirt, paper jeans,paper chaps and paper boots.

Anyway, the sheriff burst in and arrested him for rustling.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 24 2020
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Dad Tells Time With His Hat

My dad worked in construction for most of his life, and because he worked with his hands, he sacrificed many watches. But if you don't have a watch, how are you to tell time? My dad has a great sense of humor and is always thinking of new ways to do things to make them more practical or thinking of ways to change things to make them work better for him. So after spending way too much money on a heavy duty watch that inevitably broke on him, he came up with a better solution.

He used the working part of a clock and stuck it on the inside rim of his hat, so if he wanted to know what the time was, he just had to look up. Simple. And the way his hat was, you couldn't see the clock when looking at him unless you were underneath him and looking up.

And then came the funny part. Every time he was asked what time it was, he would look up at the sun, scan the horizon, pretend to do a math equation in his head, and tell them the exact time down to the minute. I've witnessed him doing this a few times but never gave it away. The look of surprise and confusion this gave people was priceless.

My dad had done other funny things like this, but this was by far the funniest.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 84
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fredzred
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 23 2020
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What keeps sheep up at night

Velcro fences

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Beefcake333
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2021
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Almost all garden gnomes have red hats

It’s a little gnome fact

πŸ‘οΈŽ 210
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Thornkale
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 14 2020
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Did you hear about the sea captain that went in for a hat fitting at the local haberdashery during rough seas?

He was cap-sized.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SpartanMonkey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2020
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but we hat a test
πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tsiganology
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 26 2020
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What did the jealous bowler hat say to the cowboy hat?

I’m brimming with disdain for you

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JumpinJaccFlash
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2020
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wish I had that hat
πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thicckar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 29 2020
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Who does the Cat in the Hat call when his back hurts?

A maSeuss.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2020
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Why did the pirate wear a paper towel for a hat?

He had a bounty on his head.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DanOfAllTrades80
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2020
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I put an Atlanta hat on my periodic table.

I’m not afraid to brave the elements.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Durty_Rick_Sanchez
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2020
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I've just entered the neighborhoods tightest hat contest..

..hope I pull it off.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 10 2020
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How do you make any boat a hat?

You flip it over and it becomes capsized.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 81
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/unic0rnism
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2020
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How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat?

One. It's a trick question.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2020
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I've lost loads of weight, just by wearing bread around my head...

It's a loaf hat diet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2021
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I’ve got my corduroy pants, my corduroy shirt, and my corduroy hat...

One more piece of clothing and I’ll be one whole Roy!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 53
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mugsfull
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 31 2020
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What happens when you put a cowboy hat on an Audi?

It becomes a Haudi

πŸ‘οΈŽ 49
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Getremtm8951
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10 2020
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Hats off to all the doctors and health care professionals
πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Harami_nobita
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10 2020
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Hulk hat
πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HeyitsTonyStark
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12 2020
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What did the hat say to the bra?

You pick up those two and I'll go on ahead later.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoeResidence
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 01 2020
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Where's your Buccaneers?

On my Buccen head?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2021
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Why do magicians wear top hats?

So the audience can't see their hare!!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 05 2020
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Why couldn't the computer take its Hat off?

Because it had its CAPS LOCK on.

Edit- North of 4k upvotes, Thank You Kind Strangers.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thatindiandood
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2019
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What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here, i'll go on a head

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shamudawhale51
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2021
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What did the hat say to the scarf?

You hang around I'll go on a head

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dukesinbad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 07 2021
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What did one hat say to the other?

β€œYou stay here, I’ll go on a-head.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tatsoup
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2021
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What did the hat say to the hat rack?

You stay here. I’ll go on a head.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 81
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mystyry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2020
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What did one hat say to another hat?

You stay here, I’ll go on ahead

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SnooAvocados7098
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 15 2020
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What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here, I’ll go on a head.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ndgrounds
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
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My hat told me he was leaving me

I said go on ahead

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I_Only_Have_One_Hand
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
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What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 219
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/afranc72
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2020
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What did the hat say to the scarf?

You hang around here, I’ll go on ahead.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 407
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/juhaodbrokule
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2020
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