I bought 20 guillotines because there was a great deal
I don’t know why I thought it’d be a good idea. I lost my head when buying them
I want to start a gas company that deals exclusively in fuel derived from dog fossils. It’s going to be called Paw Petrol.
How Mona Deals With Corona
My grocery store had a great deal on baked sweets today
It’s really been a great cake day
I saw a great deal online for a 'Replica Rolex' for only $50. I just opened the box and found it is completely made of wood...
To make matters worse, it is covered with a dark circular imperfection in the wood grain. I won't accept this - knot on my watch.
How to deal with Covid-19 Positively
The re-opening of LEGO stores in 2020 was a big deal
People were lined up for blocks.
My wife said the best way to deal with bugs in the kitchen is to just leave them alone.
Personally I think that is just ignore ants.
I'm glad my friend enlightened me on this deal
My daughter said she didnt wanna deal with lice
But i told her we had to take this problem head on
What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic?
I just made a deal with a roof building firm
Hopefully it doesn’t fall through
If you want the best Sandwich Deal there is…
Go to Kent. You'll find both of those there.
I was at work when i passed by the interviewer's office and saw a small bear walk out depressed, I went in and asked "Whats his deal?"
They said he wasn't Koalafied
As we continue to deal with the mask wearing, social distancing and uncertainty through the coming weeks, we can’t lose sight of how important it is to continue taking these precautions.
As much as it sucks, it’s better to be safe than SARS-y
What’s the deal with airline food? (COVID-19 Themed)
Dad: What’s the deal with airline food?
Kid: I don’t know dad, what?
Dad: I don’t know either I’m quarantined
I bought my bidet on sale!
A genie granted me one wish. I wanted to be rich, but didn't want to deal with the IRS and decided I wanted wealth as I needed it. So I wished for the touch of Midas.
After that, everything I touched turned into a muffler.
A pirate gave me a great deal on some corn the other day.
When early man discovered that they could use sharp stones for hunting, it was a big deal.
It was cutting edge technology
Hear about the jazz player that made a deal with the devil?
What's the deal with a door and a bell?
On their own they are not really cute, but together they are adorable!
You would think more people would see this deal.
I don't get what's the big deal in making a pastry?
My dad tried to take the phone from me, saying he could get us a better deal on internet.. I hate this man, lol
He took the phone, and said, in the voice of Freddie Mercury, "Is this the wi-fi? Is this just fantasy?...Caught in a landline, we don't need AT&T.." and then passed the phone back. We already have AT&T, and I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH A FRIEND THAT DOES ACCOUNTING?, NOTHING TO DO WITH SOMEONE CALLING OUR HOUSE. No more Crockpot broccoli and cheese soup using weed butter for him. Good god... I'm almost impressed. We also haven't had a landline in years. God bless this small dog weilding, vaping man.
Well, that seals the deal
My dealer deals marijuana really cheap.
When it comes to bags, it's a dollar for twenty.
Why was 2 offered a record deal but not 4?
Because 2 was better suited for PRIMEtime
The Green New Deal now has Dadjokes as a major pillar
We are the foremost experts in recycling!
I got a great deal on a funeral for my wife and I.
It was a his and hearse package.
Parking structures cause me a great deal of anxiety.
I don't understand why the Australian authorities haven't called out the lady sheep to deal with the fires. Everyday, when I was a child, Smokey the Bear was on TV telling me,
"Only EWE can prevent forest fires."
It meant a great deal...
When my dad taught me how to haggle.
What's the name of the space bounty hunter who used to host Deal or No Deal?
Who had the hottest Black Friday deals this year?
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
We’ve got a lot of issues to deal with
I went to a fireworks store yesterday looking for a deal
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
How did the supervisor deal with the incompetent employees?
My son gets really excited when we go to the natural history museum. When he gets near the prehistoric bones, he just explodes with excitement and I can't deal with is new strength.
I'm just not qualified to handle his dino-might.
How does a nymphomaniac deal with her addiction?
She thinks about it long and hard.
I really don’t get what the big deal is with that black hole.
Who deals with the funerals of gods?
>A dumb joke a thought up playing hockey one day
a most wholesome deal
dad joke for a dad joke?
what do they say about the restaurant on the moon? good food, no atmosphere :)
aPEARantly everyone else at goodwill was sleeping on this sweet ass deal.
I got a great deal on an upside down boat.
What's the, what's the deal
I went on Deal or No Deal hoping to win a million dollars.
But that turned out to be not the case.
===Four in one! Deal of a lifetime!===
My dad has trained me in the art of bad puns, and I have put that training to good use.
I have four jokes in one post that are guaranteed to knock your socks off! (And maybe kill off a few brain cells)
Onto the jokes!
Lizards are never unprepared, they’ve been ready from the gecko!
How do aliens call each other? SpaceTime!
Student: Can I have a can of mutton?
Teacher: I don’t know, can ewe?
What do musicians do when they get angry? Nothing, they keep their composer!
When Northern Europe was bartering for its land, all they wanted was a little something to Sweden the deal.
I don't know why money laundering is such a big deal.
People make such a big deal about vegans, but I don’t get it.
I have never had a beef with one.
Got a good deal on Cybertron Monday
What part of the brain deals with the knowledge of trees?
My friend thinks it’s easier to deal with fractions than with decimals.
I said, “You’re missing the point.”
I don't know why some people make a big deal about planting a garden...
Just wanted to remind everyone of all the hard work the significant others of superheroes do. They deal with so much, have to be in their shadow, yet still stand by them...
They really are fucking heroes
A family walks into a pizza place, and there's a deal - Buy one pizza, get the second free -
The dad says - 'In that case, we'll just have the second pizza!'
What was the deal with the closet?
It had a bunch of hangups. And it came with some bagage.
What was the deal with the angry pirate who lost the letter P?
What hospital ward deals with the most vision care cases?
My sister and I have to deal with pops constantly joking with lame quips and puns...
You could say /r/dadjokes a lot.
My friend got a great deal on a new PC...
They threw in the operating system to boot
People make such a big deal about vegans, which I don’t understand because I’ve never had beef with one.
What should you do if your wife doesnt believe you about the deals at Ikea?
My wife wanted me to attend a flea market this weekend that only deals with Middle Eastern items...
I thought hmmm.... that’s bazaar.
I don’t understand y algebra class has so many variables to deal with.
Did you hear about the car salesman who tried making a deal with the devil?
He couldn't a Ford to sell his Soul.
How did the 8th grader deal with the bully that wouldn't let him enter the restroom?
He had to fight. For his right. To POTTY!!!
I got offered an amazing deal today, someone offered to sell me a stereo with a broken volume knob!
What did the bird say when he got a great deal?
I went to Five Below today in search of some nice deals.
It truly amazes me how they stay in business when it's always freezing there
What medication are ants prescribed to deal with their low moods?
What do you call apps which deal with the human nervous system?
I got an incredible deal on some pens that were manufactured in Peru!
softball player get a music deal?
Why did the softball player get a music deal? -Her first single was a hit!
Why is it that you can get good deals in winter?
Because you have the chance toboggan.
Privacy is a big deal for social media.
Why do people choose suicide as a way to deal with their problems?
Why are classical musicians so good at finding deals?
Because they never pay the Liszt price.
Just got a great deal on a new farm in the country
What’s the deal with the perpetually sad man whose time machine broke after it landed him in the Grand Canyon in 1936?
He was stuck in a great depression.
Every year at work they make us do a Sexual Harassment training, and I don't see what the big deal is...
Harassment nothing to me.
Whats the deal with airline food?