Dealer Puns

A list of puns related to "Dealer"

So I bought some shoes from a drug dealer...

I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!

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👤︎ u/TheBDawson01
📅︎ May 29 2021
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What's something a drug dealer would never ask?

"Is Pepsi okay?"

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👤︎ u/baronradd
📅︎ Feb 24 2021
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We have a duck dealer over here
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👤︎ u/being_nice_is_cool
📅︎ Jun 04 2021
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My dealer got me the last of this in-demand strain called Death Star.

He says I'm lucky before he Alderaan out.

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👤︎ u/Jerseystateofmindeff
📅︎ May 31 2021
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Pug dealer
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👤︎ u/Physenginpreneuric
📅︎ Apr 21 2021
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My buddy and I used to be Marijuana dealers and we always split our profits evenly between us.

It was a joint operation

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👤︎ u/333iamhalfevil
📅︎ Feb 07 2021
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I went to the casino to play blackjack. The dealer got 21 and I got 18.

It really wasn’t iDEAL.

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👤︎ u/askepticalskeptic
📅︎ Apr 08 2021
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My uncle used to be a rare coin dealer...

Until a group of crooks broke into his shop & beat him 'cent-less'

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👤︎ u/Altar-83
📅︎ Jan 08 2021
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What happened to the drug dealer's bones when the police found him?

they cracked

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👤︎ u/The-Doom_Slayer
📅︎ Jan 31 2021
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T-Rex dealer
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👤︎ u/thez1337
📅︎ Aug 12 2020
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Why should you be worried about your daughter’s vegan drug dealer?

Because he might celery.

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👤︎ u/changhaobyu
📅︎ Dec 06 2020
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Why are plumbers the worst drug dealers?

They are always showing their crack.

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👤︎ u/Noblegamer789
📅︎ Nov 05 2020
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How do you call a skinny drug dealer?...

Slim shady

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👤︎ u/itsyourboi103
📅︎ Nov 26 2020
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Just had a dealer try to sell me a piece of stone he said was from Ireland and kissed by St Patrick. When I looked underneath it said 'Made in China.'

Obviously a sham rock.

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👤︎ u/Rav4xle
📅︎ Oct 15 2020
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What did the masochist say to the blackjack dealer?

Hit me.

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👤︎ u/Not_Zuriel
📅︎ Oct 04 2020
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Never trust a shoe salesman who doubles as a drug dealer

As a sole provider they'll likely get you something that's laced.

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👤︎ u/C0DEWzard
📅︎ Jun 10 2020
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What's the similarity between a person with rheumatism and a high school drug dealer

They both have bad joints

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👤︎ u/PocketGlove1
📅︎ Jul 25 2020
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You'd never believe that Hank Hill quit his job at Strickland to become a drug dealer

He now sells cocaine and cocaine accessories

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👤︎ u/forrestree
📅︎ Jul 28 2020
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I made an appointment with my dealer for some pot brownies

It was an edible arrangement

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👤︎ u/sunmorgus
📅︎ Jul 12 2020
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What does a duck say to the drug dealer

He says “where’s the quack”.

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👤︎ u/theBAFFFFFFFFF69
📅︎ May 15 2020
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Why was R-Kelly be a bad dealer at black jack?

He kept hitting on 17.

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👤︎ u/ivytheblindhusky
📅︎ Mar 26 2020
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The local drug dealer in town started dressing as a Jehovah’s Witness so as not to arouse suspicion.

He was arrested when cops saw people actually letting him in.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Sep 03 2018
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a drug dealer is selling drugs

a woman and a man walk up to him
she then says "weed like some"

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👤︎ u/Larryfacejr
📅︎ Jan 27 2020
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I bought shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.

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👤︎ u/bob9109
📅︎ May 28 2021
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer today.

I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.

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👤︎ u/ttdave1
📅︎ Apr 06 2021
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Recently bought a pair of shoes from my local drug dealer...

Don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day...

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👤︎ u/albasolo
📅︎ Apr 08 2021
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer...

Don't know what they were laced with, but I was tripping all day.

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👤︎ u/VAOkie
📅︎ Feb 08 2021
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I bought some shoes from my drug dealer

I don’t know what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day!

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👤︎ u/Dreadgrave
📅︎ Apr 26 2021
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Never buy shoes from a drug dealer...

I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

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👤︎ u/Neat_Cockroach_875
📅︎ Feb 24 2021
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer the other day. I don’t know what he laced them with but, I’ve been tripping all day....
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👤︎ u/ArtOfPuns
📅︎ Mar 08 2021
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

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👤︎ u/jtru86
📅︎ Feb 12 2021
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I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.

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👤︎ u/anvesh_parab
📅︎ Feb 10 2021
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I bought some new shoes from my drug dealer today...

I have no idea what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!

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👤︎ u/Space_Eaglez
📅︎ Jan 09 2021
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer...

Don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day

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👤︎ u/mr_rafikki
📅︎ Oct 11 2020
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I bought a pair of shoes from this drug dealer yesterday

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping the whole day.

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👤︎ u/Descator
📅︎ Dec 25 2020
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

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👤︎ u/behrkon
📅︎ Sep 13 2020
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Bought some shoes from my drug dealer

I don't know what the hell he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day

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👤︎ u/ThatPaddyHaugen
📅︎ Jul 27 2020
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The other day I bought some shoes from a drug dealer

Man, I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

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👤︎ u/professorf
📅︎ Sep 12 2020
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I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.

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👤︎ u/Bombxing
📅︎ Sep 23 2020
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Bought some shoes from a drug dealer

I don't know what they laced it with,but I've been trippin' all day

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👤︎ u/confused-avocado72
📅︎ Jul 27 2020
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Why do younever buy a pair of shoes from a drug dealer?

Because you don't know what he laces them with and you'll be tripping all day.

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👤︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
📅︎ Feb 22 2020
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer

I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day

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👤︎ u/slams0ne
📅︎ Aug 17 2020
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I once bought shoes from a drug dealer...

I don't know what they were laced with, but I've been tripping all day

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👤︎ u/TheTonz
📅︎ Jan 24 2020
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer

I don’t know what he laced em with, but I was trippin all day.

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👤︎ u/m8tt_4
📅︎ Jun 28 2020
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I bought shoes from a drug dealer

I’m not sure what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day

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👤︎ u/Rafapex
📅︎ Feb 24 2020
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I just bought these new shoes from a shady drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.

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👤︎ u/Sattoth
📅︎ Apr 04 2020
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer, not sure what he laced them with...

But I was trippin all day!

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👤︎ u/superto3
📅︎ May 18 2020
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