Car Dealer Puns

It was the loner.

It was the leased of my worries.

Who's there?

Cargo.

Cargo who?

Nope. Owl go who. Car go beep beep.

One day a snail went to a car dealership, he said to the dealer. I want a custom car, a car that’s very fast and had a big s on the side. The dealer said ok and the snail paid. 3 weeks later the snail got a call that his car was ready. When the snail went back to the dealership for his car and the dealer asked him why he snail wanted a big s on the side, and the snail said “I’ve been very slow all my life, so when I’m going down the freeway at high speeds, I want people to look over and say look at that escargot”

when a man came by and said the price was insane. The Salesman offered him a second car free with it. The man, baffled, replied with "Well, that sure does Sweden the deal!"

As I was signing the paperwork, the dealer gave me a sheet about the lemon laws.

Dealer: This is to say you know about the lemon laws, so if the car turns out to be a lemon, you can get all your money back.

My dad: It's not a lemon, it's a lime.

Cue me in hysterics while the dealer gave us a very satisfying confused look.

I was telling her about a $10,000 scissor lift that ferrari dealers have to buy to work on the Ferrari Enzo.

Me: "To even change the oil, the dealer has to buy that lift to get the car up to working height."

Wife: "That sounds like some expensive overhead."

Me: High five

So my dad comes back from from the dealer Me: Did you get the car? Dad: Yes I did. Girlfriend: What kind is it? Dad: An Audi! Girlfriend: Oh have you ever had an Audi before? Dad: No, I've always had an inny!

I don't see how he comes up with this shit on the spot.