If you attached a small engine to your ear...

...it makes you an engineear.

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πŸ“…︎ May 14
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Ever stop and think about how your car muffler reduces engine noise?

It's baffling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapNBall1851
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
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What does Thomas the Tank Engine call his teen brother?

A steam punk!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DecIsMuchJuvenile
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
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What do search engines say when they're happy ?

Yahoo! ;)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkintruder77
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
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Fire engine
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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What's the stickiest search engine

Goo gle

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yoyocrazybones99
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
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Why was Thomas the tank engine out of breath?

He was training all day.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whippymcdumbass
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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Why did Microsoft named its search engine "BING"

Because It's Not Google...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/newdoc123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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When I caught my neighbor attaching a rocket engine to a deer, I immediately reported him to the authorities.

Shame on him for trying to make a quick buck.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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I asked the librarian where the books on engine lubrication were located.

She said they were in the non-friction section.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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It’s got a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it? No, wooden start
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dunkinbiskits
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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My car had check engine light on...

So I told my son that the car might be β€œsick”.

My son said: β€œdoes it have the Car-onavirus?” And started cracking up.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JordanMichael08
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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There was a man who a had an entirely wooden car. Wooden frame, wooden wheels, wooden engine. Did he ride it? No.

It wooden start.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MonkeyLord_11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Made a wooden car with a wooden engine only trouble was

It wooden go!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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I wouldn't let my newborn work on my Ferrari's engine

He doesn't have fine motor skills

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjo_kes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.

Did he ride it? No. It wooden start

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_methematician
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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What do you call an Engine that stopped working?

Eng-out

**because engine sounds like Eng-in**

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OshriM
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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Why does the army prefer combustion engines?

They're better when youre on petrol

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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I can't stop thinking about rocket engines.

They are so uplifting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreatGreenGobbo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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I rented a car with a wooden engine today.

I tried repeatedly but it just wooden go anywhere.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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My mechanic tells me my engine keeps stalling because of excess friction.

Now I know I'm getting some wear.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavideoandPhoto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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If lightning struck the engine of a train pulling 50 cars, would someone riding the caboose get shocked?

Only if he’s a good conductor.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BargleFlargen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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What is Harry Potters favorite search engine

Ask Peeves

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MysteriouslyHorny
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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Did you hear about the car made of wooden wheels, body, and engine?

It wooden drive πŸ™

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Singer_Spectre
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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I bought a car that has a wooden engine, wooden tires, wooden steering wheel, and wooden seats.

Problem is it wooden start.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amiradzim
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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I bought some engine cleaner. The label said β€˜Known to cause cancer in the state of California.’

Good thing I’m using it in Missouri.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sethrymir
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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What did one train engine say to the other that scared him?

CaBOOse.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bilbro-swaginz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Friend purchased a wooden motorcycle. Wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels. I asked if they had ridden it and they said no...

Wooden start

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonRanch1989
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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I've just seen a traffic accident in town, a police car crashed into a fire engine.

I was going to call for an ambulance, but that might've been asking for trouble.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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What does Thomas the Tank Engine say when it bites it's fingernails?

Chew chew

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dacaldha
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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Ive just bought a wooden car. It’s got a wooden engine, wooden doors, wooden wheels, wooden seats, put the wooden key in the wooden ignition. There’s just one problem...

Wooden start!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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I used to have a full size wooden car. Wooden wheels, wooden engine, wooden seats.

BUT, when I tried to drive it, it wooden go.

Credit : u/johnnycrosshatch

πŸ‘︎ 819
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TailBullet
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
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My son used to be COMPLETELY addicted to Thomas the Tank Engine - but it’s no longer a problem because

He’s well trained

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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What will happen if you have a wooden car with wooden engine and wooden wheels?

It wooden start.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smandalofficial
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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My dad’s motorbike has a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels, and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it?

Nope, it wooden start

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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What search engine do the minions use?

Gru-gle

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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Why are fire engines red?

Because they are always Russian.

One of my 65-year-old dad’s favorite jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lotmoon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine?

It wooden go

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_Parzival_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the wooden car, with a wooden engine and wooden wheels?

It wooden start...

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paturious
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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What’s the difference between an engine and my girlfriend?

An engine can suck, squeeze, bang, blow, but my girlfriend can’t as she doesn’t exist.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spacedynasaur
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
You’ve heard of Thomas the Tank Engine, now get ready for Jet-Ski Gretzky!
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedditDragon9731
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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What's the best time of day to wash your engine?

Dawn, it's tough on grease.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nano_Jragon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What will happen if you have a wooden car with wooden engine and wooden wheels?

It wooden start.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What will happen if you have a wooden car with wooden engine and wooden wheels?

It wooden start.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report

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