Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
A big truck pooped on me the other day.
"A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load.
Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralysed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
The first thing I’ll say if Captain James Hook ever get hit by a truck is
“You ain’t seeing half of the insurance money”
I came across a great movie about a semi-truck with a defective refrigeration unit that had to deliver a large shipment of meat.
Unfortunately, the trailer spoiled it
So proud of my daughter! We’re watching the dog desperately trying to get the cat to play with her. Me: “Dog can’t hang because she’s a dump truck and and the cat is a Ferrari. Daughter:
Don’t you mean a “Fur-rari”?
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
A judge is hearing a case. 'The people V. United Parcel Service' and determines that the trucks area nuisance and a danger to the town. He decides to ban all their trucks from the town and calls his ruling:
'UPS Truck Shun of Justice'
Why’d the donkey become a truck driver?
Buddy collided with a delivery truck - he got stabbed with the antenna.. Diagnosis?
My dad decided to name his new truck "Stormtrooper"...
That way he doesn't hit anything
A truck carrying Worcestershire sauce crashed the other day. The dispatcher asked for the situation
The officer replied: “It’s hard to say”
A truck loaded with thesauruses crashed, spilling its contents over a large area...
Onlookers were shocked, astounded, agape, flabbergasted and taken aback.
I wondered why the truck was getting bigger
Why did the chicken get hit by a truck?
Cuz odds are that's what will happen when you keep crossing the damn road.
Saw a guy driving a truck with a port-a-potty attached to the back...
He must have a shitty job.
Forklift truck drivers don’t like jokes made about them...
...they find them very unpalatable
TIL about a truck full of antelopes that stopped suddenly on the freeway and caused a 15 car pile up.
Why did the Mexican keep a wheel of cheddar in his truck?
BREAKING NEWS The M6 has become blocked after a truck shed its load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes...
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery.
A truck carrying Vicks vapor rub overturned on the highway.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for 8 hours.
Did you hear about the thief who stole a supply truck of disinfectant?
Did you know my dad drive a truck for 30 years?
He was bad with directions.
I just saw a AAA battery-delivery truck run a red light. Hope he doesn't get charged.
My food truck idea
Food truck with eggs being the theme in every dish.
"The Poach Coach"
- Eggs Been a Dick (2 poached eggs and 1 average but adequate size sausage)
- Omelette that one slide (you're choice of filling, but don't fucking test me)
- The Dwight Yolk Em' (served in a plastic cowboy hat to go. Must eat while walking the streets of Bakersfield)
4.The Mr. Burns Eggcellent Scramble (smithered with cheese)
- The Quiche a Grey (oralgasmic quiche with a money shot of sausage gravy)
- The John Denver Omelette (full of all kinds of shit)
- Jesus'ed egg (basically a deviled egg only more judgmental and boiled in holy water)
I thought about buying an ice cream truck and starting up my own business
But I heard the ice cream market is a rocky road
A truck unloaded tons of hand tools into a river...
It is now a screwed river
Does a Mail truck have more rights than a Fe-Mail truck?
My German neighbor: Here are some old toy trucks your kids can play with.
The doctor said that it looks like my wife got hit by a truck
She has a great personality though
What kind of truck runs over your feet?
Have you seen the new movie about trucks?
Nah, I’ve only seen the TRAILER
I'm so proud of my son, for bringing bread and a jar of peanut butter to the truck show.
After all, this is MONSTER JAM!
There was a man driving a pickup truck.
In the bed of the truck was a bunch of baby ducks. He passed a police officer, the officer fired up their blues and twos and pulled the man over.
The officer said, "Sir, you can't just be driving around with all these ducklings in your car. You must take them to the zoo immediately."
The following day the same man was driving the same truck with the same baby ducks in the bed, except this time, they were wearing sunglasses.
The same police officer saw, they pulled the man over again and said, "Look mate, I told you yesterday to take those ducks to the zoo."
The man said, "I did take them to the zoo. They loved it! We're going to the beach today!"
A Ramen Noodle truck overturned on the freeway today, spilling all its contents out onto the road...
Damages are estimated at $4.81 !
Last night I saw a number plate of a truck 'LGTB'
I thought the combination ain't that straight.
Today when I was driving a manure truck tipped over.
Guess you could say that guy... Lost his shit
A company that makes powerful pick up trucks in a northern city of England started by a famous Icelandic electronic pop artist.
It's Björk's York Torque Corp.
Did you hear the supermarket took its entire breakfast aisle, put it on a truck, and started giving items out all over town?
They call it the Universal Cereal Bus.
A truck full of donkeys passed me on the highway
He was really hauling ass.
Saw a truck towing a horse trailer pulled over by the police
Must have been hauling a$$.
A truck driver with a live load of penguins in the back crashes and injures himself
A bystander helps him and calls the ambulance for him, The transport driver tells the man to take the penguins to the zoo then man says okay. Later when the truck driver was released from the hospital he sees the man walking out of the movie theatre with a line of penguins behind him, he asked what the hell hes doing and the man said, well you told me to take them to the zoo, i did, then i took them to the mall and now the movies.
A large truck transporting wigs and toupees has crashed on a major highway sending its cargo everywhere.
Police are still combing the area.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
A truck carrying toupees crashed on the highway, spilling everything.
Police are combing the area.
What's bigger than a tow truck?
What did the man say when he lost his truck?
And why do elephants carry everything with their truck?
Because they don't have a glove box.
I'll be here all night. Please tip your waiter on your way out.
Why did the cop pull over the U-Haul truck?
He wanted to bust a move.
i like fire trucks and moster trucks
I was sad to hear today that Mail Trucks are going extinct.
There aren't enough Femail Trucks to sustain the population.
Google Waymo has a self-driving truck. So would that be considered...
You only ever see ice cream trucks turned over on desserted streets.
How do you move a moving truck?
Cop: "I'm sorry to say this sir, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck."
Dad: "Yeah, but she has a great personality."
These easelly fit in the back of my truck
Why am I banned from owning a truck and a donkey at the same time?
I drove by a truck carrying canned orange juice and I almost got into an accident.
I should have concentrated on the road.
Father-In-Law hit me with this after asking him about his truck
We're supposed to go pick up a jeep in his truck and I wanted to make sure the trailer wiring was the same for his newer truck
Officer: “I’m sorry to say this sir, but it looks like your girlfriend’s been hit by a truck”
Man: “Yeah, but she’s got a great personality”
Did you hear about the cheese truck that crashed on the highway?
What did the triceratops tow with his tow truck?
Why didn't the old truck cross the water body?
Because it had rust issues
I got into an accident with a meat delivery truck
A truck carrying toupees crashed on the highway,spilling everything
Police are combing the area
Did you hear they’re making a new Cars movie about a momma truck having triplets?
MumFord and Sons , in theatres this December.
Today I grabbed lunch at this Middle-Eastern food truck.
I was fine earlier, but now I falafel.
Yesterday a truck carrying vicks vaporub overturned on the highway, spilling its contents
For 8 hours, there was no congestion.
I just drove my truck into a building!
Good thing I opened the garage door first.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
Just witnessed a septic cleaning truck use the left lane for a right turn, using no signal, and then proceeded to drive 10 miles under the speed limit...
Turns out he was a shit driver..
A dad gets run over by a truck
The dad lies there in his last moment. The only thing that is going through his head is a “Goodyear”. He looks up at his wife who is holding his hand. In his dying breath, he says, I’m “tired.”
Did you see the cheese truck crash today?
My Dad’s brother is a truck driver...
...we call him Uncle Laurie
This slogan on a tow truck.
Did you hear about the bamboo truck accident?
What kind of truck does a dead person drive?
It’s crazy how fast milk trucks are driven these days...
One blink and they’ve gone pasteurise.
I drove a truck for 30 years.
I’m now SEMI-retired.
Courtesy of a contestant on Wheel of Fortune.
I saw a mail truck pulled over today on the way home.
He must of been really hauling the mail.
What do call a Nabisco delivery truck?
Have you seen one of those tow trucks before?
They're tow-tally amazing!