Did you hear about the viagara truck hijacked in New York the other day?
The police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals
If a cop pulls over a U-Haul truck...
A baker in my town accidentally fell inside a truck full of French bread.
Had to tell my family we can't take the boat to the lake cause my truck broke down. Fortunately, avocado.
Looking at a Terminix truck, the IX at the end are the roman numerals for the number nine...
Which is one more than eight. I feel this has to have been part of the name creation. “We’ll do you one better than terminate, we’ll termiNINE”.
A Vicks VapoRub truck overturned on the freeway this morning.
Amazingly there was no congestion for 8 hours!
I pulled over a truck going 80 miles an hour in a 55 zone. He had a cargo of axe-like tools used for shaping large pieces of wood.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
Two Irishmen are sitting outside and a truck carrying turf drives past.
“I’d like to be that rich one day”. Says Billy.
“What, buy new turf?” Asks Shamus.
“No, send my grass away to be mowed”. Replies Billy.
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
I didn't appreciate reincarnation until I got hit by that truck...
And woke up feeling like a whole new man
To reduce waste, our city has told food truck drivers they must donate all unsold items each night.
I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask...
How much food would a good truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
We had a car that was Front Wheel Drive and a truck that was Rear Wheel Drive, but we traded them both for on SUV
And now it's All We'll Drive!
A big truck pooped on me the other day.
"A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load.
Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralysed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
The first thing I’ll say if Captain James Hook ever get hit by a truck is
“You ain’t seeing half of the insurance money”
My dad decided to name his new truck "Stormtrooper"...
That way he doesn't hit anything
I came across a great movie about a semi-truck with a defective refrigeration unit that had to deliver a large shipment of meat.
Unfortunately, the trailer spoiled it
So proud of my daughter! We’re watching the dog desperately trying to get the cat to play with her. Me: “Dog can’t hang because she’s a dump truck and and the cat is a Ferrari. Daughter:
Don’t you mean a “Fur-rari”?
A judge is hearing a case. 'The people V. United Parcel Service' and determines that the trucks area nuisance and a danger to the town. He decides to ban all their trucks from the town and calls his ruling:
'UPS Truck Shun of Justice'
Why’d the donkey become a truck driver?
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
Buddy collided with a delivery truck - he got stabbed with the antenna.. Diagnosis?
A truck carrying Worcestershire sauce crashed the other day. The dispatcher asked for the situation
The officer replied: “It’s hard to say”
I wondered why the truck was getting bigger
Why did the Mexican keep a wheel of cheddar in his truck?
A truck loaded with thesauruses crashed, spilling its contents over a large area...
Onlookers were shocked, astounded, agape, flabbergasted and taken aback.
Why did the chicken get hit by a truck?
Cuz odds are that's what will happen when you keep crossing the damn road.
Forklift truck drivers don’t like jokes made about them...
...they find them very unpalatable
Saw a guy driving a truck with a port-a-potty attached to the back...
He must have a shitty job.
TIL about a truck full of antelopes that stopped suddenly on the freeway and caused a 15 car pile up.
A truck carrying Vicks vapor rub overturned on the highway.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for 8 hours.
BREAKING NEWS The M6 has become blocked after a truck shed its load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes...
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery.
I just saw a AAA battery-delivery truck run a red light. Hope he doesn't get charged.
Did you know my dad drive a truck for 30 years?
He was bad with directions.
My food truck idea
Food truck with eggs being the theme in every dish.
"The Poach Coach"
- Eggs Been a Dick (2 poached eggs and 1 average but adequate size sausage)
- Omelette that one slide (you're choice of filling, but don't fucking test me)
- The Dwight Yolk Em' (served in a plastic cowboy hat to go. Must eat while walking the streets of Bakersfield)
4.The Mr. Burns Eggcellent Scramble (smithered with cheese)
- The Quiche a Grey (oralgasmic quiche with a money shot of sausage gravy)
- The John Denver Omelette (full of all kinds of shit)
- Jesus'ed egg (basically a deviled egg only more judgmental and boiled in holy water)
Did you hear about the thief who stole a supply truck of disinfectant?
I thought about buying an ice cream truck and starting up my own business
But I heard the ice cream market is a rocky road
Does a Mail truck have more rights than a Fe-Mail truck?
A truck unloaded tons of hand tools into a river...
It is now a screwed river
My German neighbor: Here are some old toy trucks your kids can play with.
What kind of truck runs over your feet?
The doctor said that it looks like my wife got hit by a truck
She has a great personality though
There was a man driving a pickup truck.
In the bed of the truck was a bunch of baby ducks. He passed a police officer, the officer fired up their blues and twos and pulled the man over.
The officer said, "Sir, you can't just be driving around with all these ducklings in your car. You must take them to the zoo immediately."
The following day the same man was driving the same truck with the same baby ducks in the bed, except this time, they were wearing sunglasses.
The same police officer saw, they pulled the man over again and said, "Look mate, I told you yesterday to take those ducks to the zoo."
The man said, "I did take them to the zoo. They loved it! We're going to the beach today!"
I'm so proud of my son, for bringing bread and a jar of peanut butter to the truck show.
After all, this is MONSTER JAM!
A Ramen Noodle truck overturned on the freeway today, spilling all its contents out onto the road...
Damages are estimated at $4.81 !
Last night I saw a number plate of a truck 'LGTB'
I thought the combination ain't that straight.
A company that makes powerful pick up trucks in a northern city of England started by a famous Icelandic electronic pop artist.
It's Björk's York Torque Corp.
A truck full of donkeys passed me on the highway
He was really hauling ass.
Today when I was driving a manure truck tipped over.
Guess you could say that guy... Lost his shit
Did you hear the supermarket took its entire breakfast aisle, put it on a truck, and started giving items out all over town?
They call it the Universal Cereal Bus.
A truck carrying toupees crashed on the highway, spilling everything.
Police are combing the area.
What's bigger than a tow truck?
Saw a truck towing a horse trailer pulled over by the police
Must have been hauling a$$.
A truck driver with a live load of penguins in the back crashes and injures himself
A bystander helps him and calls the ambulance for him, The transport driver tells the man to take the penguins to the zoo then man says okay. Later when the truck driver was released from the hospital he sees the man walking out of the movie theatre with a line of penguins behind him, he asked what the hell hes doing and the man said, well you told me to take them to the zoo, i did, then i took them to the mall and now the movies.
A large truck transporting wigs and toupees has crashed on a major highway sending its cargo everywhere.
Police are still combing the area.
And why do elephants carry everything with their truck?
Because they don't have a glove box.
I'll be here all night. Please tip your waiter on your way out.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
What did the man say when he lost his truck?
i like fire trucks and moster trucks
Why did the cop pull over the U-Haul truck?
He wanted to bust a move.
Cop: "I'm sorry to say this sir, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck."
Dad: "Yeah, but she has a great personality."
Two truckers decided to have a competition to see who had the faster truck...
I was sad to hear today that Mail Trucks are going extinct.
There aren't enough Femail Trucks to sustain the population.
These easelly fit in the back of my truck
You only ever see ice cream trucks turned over on desserted streets.
I drove by a truck carrying canned orange juice and I almost got into an accident.
I should have concentrated on the road.
Google Waymo has a self-driving truck. So would that be considered...
Why am I banned from owning a truck and a donkey at the same time?
Officer: “I’m sorry to say this sir, but it looks like your girlfriend’s been hit by a truck”
Man: “Yeah, but she’s got a great personality”
How do you move a moving truck?
Father-In-Law hit me with this after asking him about his truck
We're supposed to go pick up a jeep in his truck and I wanted to make sure the trailer wiring was the same for his newer truck
Did you hear about the cheese truck that crashed on the highway?
What did the triceratops tow with his tow truck?
A truck carrying toupees crashed on the highway,spilling everything
Police are combing the area
Why didn't the old truck cross the water body?
Because it had rust issues
I got into an accident with a meat delivery truck
I just drove my truck into a building!
Good thing I opened the garage door first.
Did you hear they’re making a new Cars movie about a momma truck having triplets?
MumFord and Sons , in theatres this December.
Today I grabbed lunch at this Middle-Eastern food truck.
I was fine earlier, but now I falafel.
This slogan on a tow truck.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
Did you see the cheese truck crash today?
Just witnessed a septic cleaning truck use the left lane for a right turn, using no signal, and then proceeded to drive 10 miles under the speed limit...
Turns out he was a shit driver..
Did you hear about the bamboo truck accident?
It’s crazy how fast milk trucks are driven these days...
One blink and they’ve gone pasteurise.