A lorry full of tortoises just hit a van full of terrapins.

It’s a turtle disaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eternal_Punshine
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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My Dad drove a lorry for 32 years.

He was terrible with directions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CountryHicky
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins

I thought "That's a turtle disaster".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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A lorry load of wigs has been stolen

Police are combing the area

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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A lorry full of christmas trees have been stolen.

Police admit they are stumped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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What do you call it when a lorry of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?

A turtle disaster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWonkyTardis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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I left it late to get a gift for my mum for Mother’s Day. Ended up at a petrol station. I bought her some Lorry Oil...

β€˜Cos she’s worth it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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Nearly got knocked off of my bike by a council salt lorry.

You idiot, I shouted. Through gritted teeth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theGamingDad123
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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The local motorway has become blocked after a lorry shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.

Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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A lorry carrying LEGO bricks overturned on the motorway.

The police say they don't know what to make of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnydarko-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
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A cheese lorry just crashed on the motorway......

......everything was covered in debris

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anassis
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
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A lorry carrying 25 tons of Vicks Vapour Rub has overturned on the M6, near Birmingham, spilling it's load onto the carriage way.

The Police have said, there will be no congestion for at least 12hrs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2017
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From the radio traffic report: 'A lorry carrying ladders has crashed on the M6 motorway just south of manchester, and the cargo has spilled onto the road ....

The police say they're taking steps to remove them.'

Can't beat a good police dadjoke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/8979323
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2017
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News just in: Two carpets have fallen off a lorry on the A38

Let's just hope there isn't a shag pileup.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artoast
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2015
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The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.

I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theskyguyuk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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What has 4 wheels and flies ?

A dustbin lorry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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Did you hear about the guy who ate the truck?

Now he's the man-da-lorry-in

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redenno
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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We get fed up of long car journeys...

...meanwhile, lorry drivers get fed ex.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?

Lorry-el

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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What has six wheels and flies?

A Bin Lorry. (Garbage Truck)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExoZed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
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I'm Well Known (and Hated) for These Around My School

After a long list of dad jokes in a chat, one of my friends told me to get hit by a truck. I responded with:

"that would be a semi-solution" and then: "If I am misunderstanding a part of this, please articulate your concerns to my friend lorry, she will clarify"

many people left the chat after this

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noble_gasses
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2016
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Got my girlfriend on an early drive this morning.

My girlfriend was driving us to into town early this morning for work, it was dark and we all had lights on. A waste disposal truck coming the other way narrowly misses us as it overtakes a cyclist on a blind corner. My girlfriend gets angry because of their stupidity, I wait a split second and say:

"I guess they're just a rubbish lorry driver"

It didn't defuse the situation...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RagingSantas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2014
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I hope this doesn't make anyone sour!

A friend and I are driving along the motorway and I note about how tall a Hovis (bread bakers) lorry is.
Friend poses the question "I wonder why they need such a tall lorry?"
Without pausing I answer "Because bread rises!"

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2014
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The world tongue twister champion got arrested

I hear they are going to give a really tough sentence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonp27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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