Two cab drivers met.

"Hey," asked one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?"

"Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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I fell asleep in the cab and later I woke up with my liver missing

I'm starting to think that the driver who said he'll "deliver me" was a bit shady.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maraudershake
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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What do a cab driver in Boston and a tourist in the capital of Bangladesh have in common?

They're both in Dhaka

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bandito210
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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I have bunch of stuffed yellow cabs on my walls

I’m a taxidermist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MartinBirk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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Why was Anakin Skywalker arrested while driving a cab?

Because he was a taxi Vader.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
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I was in a cab one time and got curious. I asked the cabbie if he liked his job. He said, β€œOh sure. I’m out of the house, away from my nagging wife and I don’t have anyone telling me what to do.”

I told him, β€œTurn right at the next corner.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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Why do cab drivers expect to be tipped?

I just don't think that's fare.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pat_the_brat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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What was the first thing the cab-driver said to the wolf?

Werewolf

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steezy96
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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Why doesn't Hitler take cabs?

He is more of an Ubermensch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BLX-S
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2017
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I heard Reddit likes pics of cabs. Here's a pic of mine.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTrueFlexKavana
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2016
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Chinese food take away: $10. Cab fare to get it: $6. Getting back home and realising they forgot one of your containers....

Riceless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/v_cleaner
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2015
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A man with a chicken takes a cab to the airport. Upon arrival, the cabbie insisted on taking the chicken as payment for the ride.

After all, fare is fowl.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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Why did the cab driver quit his job?

He was sick of people talking behind his back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeliciousRoreos
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
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A guy walks out of a hotel and says to the doorman, "Call me a cab."

"You're a cab."

Overheard a dad say that to his two young boys while walking to the train this morning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/g_as_in_gnarly
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2015
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I was in a cab today and the cab driver said,

I was in a cab today and the cab driver said, β€œI love my job, I’m my Own boss. Nobody tells me what to do.” Then I said, β€œTurn Left'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Teachdis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
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If a cabbie drives a cab, what does a podiatrist drive? reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/otakop
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2018
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My wife was late for work and asked me to call her a cab...

I said "You're a cab", sent her stepfather into a laugh attack, and got the best "I'll kill you in your sleep"-Look I could've hoped for. And yes, I am a dad 3 times over.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evilch33z
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2014
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If Hitler were a cab driver people would literally be 'hailing' Hitler all day.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrentACenter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2015
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Cab driver got me this morning.

I got a cab to take me to the airport and I asked the driver if he took credit card.

Quick as anything he said, "Yessir, but we usually give them back."

Just the humor I need for a 6AM flight

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CunningCrow
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2015
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My cab crashed but we're OK

It was just a taxi-dent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maplealvon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2016
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Inadvertently dad-joked a cab driver

In India, cab driver is Muslim, speaking with broken English to my friend about his family. Cab driver says something about his mother being ill.

Friend: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Is your mother sick?" Cab driver: "Sick? No, she is Muslim!"

Sick = Sikh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trogdorBURN
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2014
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What did the cab driver say after I gave him Monopoly money?

Hey, that's not fare!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChashuFilms
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2014
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