Everyone should know that cows have four stomach compartments.

It's ruminantary knowledge!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/twowheeledfun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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My dad asked me why I had a pair of socks in my glove compartment. β€œYou never know when you’ll need a dry pair of socks” I told him.

β€œSure you do, when the ones your wearing get wet.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ‘€︎ u/niggety
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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I told my friend I had sleeping compartments installed on my bus exactly 1 year ago today.

He said, "happy berth-day!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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A pun or two about magicians and their antics

Person 1: What is your opinion on that one classic pulling the bunny out of the hat trick?

Person 2: I think raises some hare-raising questions.

P1: How so?

P2: It just begs the question of how it affects the rabbits themselves. After all, the magicians were pulling them out without a carrot the world.

P1: You raise at interesting point.

P2: We all know it's because of the secret compartment, you know? And, to minimize the suspiciousness of the hat, the compartment is as small as possible?

P1: Yes

P2: It must be very uncomfurtable to be in that space, and then be grabbed by the ears and raised high in front of a crowd. Like, don't get me wrong, I love magic tricks, but I wand to specify that i honestly feel that this trick in particular is quite inhumane.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirZbear
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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My girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying "This isn't working, goodbye"

What a liar! I opened the fridge and it's working just fine.

πŸ‘︎ 104
πŸ‘€︎ u/JeepersCreepers00
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
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The Mandalorian is showing Baby Yoda around his ships.

They enter the fitness room and The Mandalorian flips a switch revealing a hidden compartment full of protein drinks.

"This is the whey."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/dwarvenfriend
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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"I'm full" never worked in my house...

Me: Dad I'm full

Dad: Want some ice cream?!

Me: YEA!

Dad: You're not full then. Eat your dinner.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ‘€︎ u/khaelbee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2013
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accidental dad joke

I threw a light bulb in the glove compartment of my car, because it had burnt out at work, i'd swapped it, and put it in my pocket. I had put a black X on it in sharpie to mark it as bad. Some months later, someone was digging and found it. He asked me why i left it in the glove box, and i told him "yeah, i guess that's a bad idea." He slapped me at the next red light.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamman500
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2014
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Homophones make you an easy target

As I'm getting into my dad's truck, I hit my knee on the glove compartment.

Dad: What did you hit?

Me: (guestures to the glove compartment) I just kneed this!

Dad: …but it's mine.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ‘€︎ u/dropthebassoon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2015
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My 3 year old son dad joked me.

About a week ago I purchased one of those cheap checkout isle toys for my son. In particular it was one of the fan type toys that looks like a helicopter, with a small compartment of candy under the handle. Naturally he downs the candy and is toting the toy around for the next six or seven days, putting random items in the compartment. One day it is Lego's, another its rocks, another its dirt, so on and so forth.

Every time he puts something new in it he comes up and shows me what he was able to fit into the compartment.

This afternoon I was getting ready for work and drinking my coffee (night shift's this weekend), when he comes up to me with the helicopter. "Dad, look" as he is shaking the toy around with something rattling inside. "look, look". OK buddy, whats in there?

"CD's".... Huh? the compartment is smaller than a roll of quarters, how does he have cd's in there?

He proudly opens it up and goes "see theese... hahahaha", and just stands there waiting for my reaction.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ‘€︎ u/nathanc98
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2014
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Dad joke at Sonic

Ordered two frozen drinks at Sonic, go to swipe my card and the card-reader is out of order. Girlfriend asks if I have any cash, so I open the ash compartment in my car and pull out a 5 dollar bill.

"I didn't even know you kept money in there!"

"Well you aren't supposed to know about it, just like any good slush fund."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/chillbroswaggins
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2014
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