Why did the freezer run away on its marriage

. . . It got cold feet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlazinGamez12
πŸ“…︎ May 24
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If you and your buddies should all get COVID vaccines and the doses need to be kept in freezers...

then you're cracking open a cold Bud-Pfizer!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emeraldqueen24
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
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Who do you call when all of your cured salmon is stuck in the freezer?

The Lox Smith

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πŸ“…︎ May 13
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My American Roblox freezer died today...

0Β°F

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emil_Jorgensen05
πŸ“…︎ May 08
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A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....

When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwele_music
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
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Cupcake decorating took a turn on Valentine's day when my daughter got frosting all over the freezer

I told my wife to just leave it though since the freezer has an auto defrost feature

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πŸ‘€︎ u/krigito
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
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Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.

Does that mean I have frozen assets or cold hard cash?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AgnosticIce6482
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Walken freezer.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FloofBagel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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For my wife's birthday I bought her a beautiful fridge freezer....

I know it isn't much, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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My wife asked me if I ate the ice cream she had in the freezer ?

I told her no. I ate it on the couch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeenYourTarget
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Why did the freezer never graduate?

Because it was set on 0 degrees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HueyLameass
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?

You could say it was a well thawed out plan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/livelylou4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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I accidentally put my wallet in the freezer last night.

Was a good job really, I needed some cold hard cash!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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My wife thinks she's funny by putting Frozen yogurt in the freezer for my home packed lunches.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dye590
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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Freezer, built to do one thing, can’t even do that right!

FREEZER BUUUUURRRRRNNNN!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jjstone78
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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What do two people have when they both like to boil leaves in water, add milk, and put it into the freezer?

Solid-dairy-tea!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Legitimate_Lynx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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I just invested in a company that will pay me to keep t-bones and rib-eyes in my freezer to sell when the market improves...

I'm a steak-holder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?

Bone-chilling.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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Found this while looking for a new fridge freezer
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amazeballs2017
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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So my son decided to have the idea to put $300 in the freezer.

I guess u could call it, "cold hard cash"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_AM_AWP
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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Spotted a Walken freezer today
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Enderslayer_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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I wanted to cook chicken for dinner, but I forgot to take it out of the freezer ahead of time.

It wasn’t a well thawed out plan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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Did you hear about the murderer who stored his spices in the freezer?

He served hard thyme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maxmun1ch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?

Cool jazz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FBX-PIZ
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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I yelled at my son, β€œStop leaving the freezer door open!”

β€œThis is why we can’t have ice things.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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I tied two Disney DVDs with strings and placed it inside the freezer.

It's Tangled and Frozen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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I found an alien masturbating in my freezer last night.

I asked him what on earth he was doing in there. All he said was, "I cum in peas".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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What did the pirate say when he found his wooden leg in the freezer?

Shiver me timbers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmantis311
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
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What's a freezer's favorite time period?

An ice age!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xevetv
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?

That experience was chilling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheReal_CDK
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.

It's cold fashion, look it up!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schnuderi
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
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My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?

Fro-zen!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thanosisntwrong
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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What do you call dinner that's been pulled out of the freezer a day in advance?

A well thawed out plan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hephsters
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2017
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Why did the edgy teenager lock himself in the freezer ?

He thought it was cool.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RottenMind62
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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Dad saw a news article "Son arrested after murdered father found in freezer"

Dad said: "Guess you could call him a pop-cicle"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WardenHDresden
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2016
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Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

He wanted cold hard cash!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

He wanted cold hard cash!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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I was planning on having chicken for dinner but I forgot to take it out of the freezer.

It wasn’t a well thawed out plan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

He wanted cold hard cash!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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