Justice is a dish best served cold

Because if it were served warm it would be justwater

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onion-volcano
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
🚨︎ report
"Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway!" My youngest son thought of that all by himself!

He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska...

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
My daughter told me she was really cold today

I told her to stand in the corner because it's 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redditstrawberry7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
🚨︎ report
This one went by cold with the rest of the chat. Stone-cold.
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoneblosom
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
Dad: Are you cold

Me: yes Dad: then you should stand in a corner Me: why Dad: because it’s 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Henry-boy11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06
🚨︎ report
You need to serve justice cold

because if you serve it warm it would be justwater

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dog_food1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
🚨︎ report
What animal do you want to be when you're cold?

A little 'otter

Joke by my grandpa

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeetball128
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
🚨︎ report
What does a phone say when it's cold?

Nothing, it just vibrates like brrrrr...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bl3kBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09
🚨︎ report
My dad told me this rn. "Which is faster, heat or cold?"

Heat because you can catch a cold.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
My daughter said she was cold in the house.

I told her to go stand in the corner. She asked me why.

I told her because it was 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/juanhundred_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05
🚨︎ report
Son-β€œDad it’s cold in here, can we turn the thermostat up”

Me - β€œNo just go stand in the corner”

Son -β€œWhy?”

Me - β€œBecause it is always at 90 degrees”

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WestPastEast
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
🚨︎ report
Scientists have noticed that patients who have the cold feel better on Saturdays and Sundays.

It’s the weekend immune system.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
🚨︎ report
I'm a scientist in search of a "cold spicy"

Oh, nevermint, I found it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25
🚨︎ report
My boss is very cold and cruel.

He's such a hearthless fellow.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NomadStar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
This morning, after a long night of binging, I got out of bed and looked in the mirror. I saw my haggard, worn-out body and overcome with emotion I realised that for the sake of my family I had to quit cold turkey.

I'm going vegan today.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07
🚨︎ report
What is faster, Hot or Cold ?

Hot, you can catch a cold

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
What’s faster, cold or hot?

Hot, because you can catch a cold.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
Son: Why is the food so cold and bland?

Dad: Because your mom put her heart and soul in it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Killljoys13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
History has shown that during the Cold War, the US warheads feared a Soviet nuclear strike

They really went bunkers

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Projkt88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
🚨︎ report
They say Argentina is cold...

But it's more correct to say that it borders on Chile.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Light_bulbnz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold

Or else it would be justwater

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sergio_the_pro
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
What’s cold, white, falls from the sky and kills you?

A fridge!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Giant-Genitals
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
What is cold and stands under a street lamp?
  • A frostitute.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theredditman111
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Shetland pony with a cold?

He was a little hoarse.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marcuccione
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
What does a magician do when they're cold?

The same trick twice.

"Is this your cardigan?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ahmy123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
Very cold
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xXn00bslayerXx420
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
Why is deadpools house always cold?

Because he keeps breaking the fourth wall

πŸ‘︎ 185
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gollyfuckinggosh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
What do mathematicians when they feel cold?

They go into a corner cause there are 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/llauraishere
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
What was the best weapon during the Cold war?

A jacket.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Avius_Si-muntu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
I was cold while in my kayak so I lit a fire and it sunk

Shows you can’t have your kayak and heat it too!

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JumpingRedFox
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nut with a cold?

A ca-SHEWWWWW

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TACKYTUESDAY
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold.

Otherwise it would be justwater.

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robindc_93
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
Argentina is kind of cold this time of year...

In fact, it’s borderline Chile.

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OCR9
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
[from my 4yo boy] How do you keep warm in a cold room?

Go to the corner there always around 90Β°

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/123sam321
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
That's Cold
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Y2KoNo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
Oh you're cold?

Go into a corner to warm up it is usually around 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
Cold showers are the best...

...Once you warm up to them

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/romantheperogi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
We took Grandpa sledging the other day and he caught a terrible cold. Grandma put goosefat all over his chest.

He went downhill pretty quick after that.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DemonMango
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
He is kinda cold doe
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner of a room.

They're normally around 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RespectTheFancy
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
What does Jack Frost use to determine if it's cold enough to start hanging icicles?

His test-icles

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/steeple_fun
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
Justice is best served cold

If it were served worm it would be justwater

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TCPizza
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
My brother wanted cold hard cash for Christmas. I think I delivered well
πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NJ2244
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm quitting cold turkey.

But every now and then I still think about lighting up a slice.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/briccman
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm jt would be justwater.
πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/domadomdom
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife told me she was sick and was going to take some cold pills

I asked her if she wanted me to warm them up first

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AtG68
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
People usually say, β€œlet’s blow this popsicle stand,” when they are at a place where people are cold and have the proverbial, β€œstick up their ass.”
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
Look out for cold sores when sharing candy this Valentine's day...

Mine went from Mounds of Joy to Herpes Kisses.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
Cold shoulder on a cannibal feast
πŸ‘︎ 212
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kikithegoth
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What food is served hot but is always cold

Chili

πŸ‘︎ 237
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/expunisher
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
hear about how deodorant lead to the capture of a cold war agent?

the scent of old spies gave him away

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/asianwaste
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
What do you call Mexican jumping beans with a cold?

Coffee beans.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NnyBees
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
Son : "Why is the food so cold and bland?"

Dad : "Because your mother put her heart and soul into it."

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sexxc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold...

If it were served warm, it'll be justwater.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EliasVeturias
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
In March we had coughs, colds, Influenza A&B, and Covid-19.

I guess you could say the nations of the world were in a Cold War.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SalmonXenu420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
It's cold and dark outside, so I have drawn the curtains.
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theMikethe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad I'm cold

Dad: go to the corner it's 90Β°

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Volantrix
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
My boyfriend infected me with a cold....

He sickens me

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PlankenSonja
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
In a poor family, a son says to his dad: Dad I'm cold.

Dad: Go sit in the corner it's 90 degree

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RlPsoul
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
Why is justice a dishonest served cold

Because if it were hot it would be justwater

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coffeemist90881
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
A little boy watched, fascinated as his mother gently massaged cold cream on her face. "Why are you rubbing that on your face, mommy?" he asked.

"To make myself beautiful!" said his mother.

A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" he asked. "Are you giving up?"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
If you're ever cold, put yourself in a corner

It's 90Β°

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkAngelMUA
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Why was it called the Cold War

Cuz they were Stalin’ for time.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LostInBilation
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
I now know why painters don’t get cold...

...they always use a second coat 🀭

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
Too cold
πŸ‘︎ 198
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blazinfastjohny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Just-ice is cold
πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Realiest-G
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Cold Hearted [oc]
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/travischapmanart
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
Kid: Dad I’m cold

Dad:Go to the corner, it’s 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jacksonsprite
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
What does a painter do when he gets cold?

He puts on another coat!

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
Feed a cold, starve a fever.....

Drink a corona...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Merek-Grimm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
Me: "Dad, I'm cold."

Dad: "Go to the corner, it's 90 degrees."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/23110926
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
My daughter: Dad, I’m cold.

Me: Go to the corner, it’s 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SplitEyeX
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
Why did the cold war last so long?

Because Russia kept stalin

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wamminjammin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cold hooker?

A frostitute.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_fish_friar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call cold Mexican food?

Chillychangas

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Flameball537
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What's faster, heat or cold?

Heat. Because you can catch a cold.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Just found out I have a cold and the stomach flu.

I’ve got the Friday Night Blights

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Phransisco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
A customer ordered a foot long cold cut trio and I completely zoned out and accidentally made him a 6" meatball.

Whoops, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zamundan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
🚨︎ report
Feeling cold in winter?

Just stand in a corner, it has 90 degrees there!

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hfcRedd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
If you're cold, stand in the corner

It's usually 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
How do you break into a cold lock?

With an ice pick.πŸ˜€

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/19chevy79
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
Dad I am cold.. If you’re cold, go eat your lunch in the corner. Why?

It is always 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-Binger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
What do you call the common cold when Ron Weasley gets it?

A ginger ail!

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/primetime061
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold

if it were served warm it would be justwater.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anon_777
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway! ~ My youngest son thought of that all by himself!

He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska...

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s faster, cold or hot?

Hot, because you can catch a cold.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrakeVader
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold

If it were served warm, it would be justwater

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Prototype273
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold ......

Because if it was served warm it would be justwater

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sardonicuis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold.

Because if it was served warm it would be Justwater

πŸ‘︎ 161
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C3Life
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Justice Is A Dish Best Served Cold.

Otherwise It Would Be Justwater

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DadJokee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
"Dad I'm cold.."

"Go sit in the corner, it's 90Β° over there.."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/0x000666
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
WHERE IS IT ALWAYS COLD?

In Chili

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tallkat41
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
If your ever cold, stand in the corner.

Its 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Believe-it-Geico
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report

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