Cold War Puns

The sleeper agents

A jacket.

They really went bunkers

the scent of old spies gave him away

Cuz they were Stalin’ for time.

Because Russia kept stalin

ICBMs but I don't believe em.

It was a cold war. Also a short war, with little casualties.

It lasted six months. The truce came after the elves realized they'd wasted the whole day fighting.

Because the Cold War has ended.

I answered Cold war russia

They have a Cold War

It’s the Cold War.

I guess you could say the nations of the world were in a Cold War.

So he’s mostly known as a psychologist, self help Guru and “philosopher” but he also did some interesting work in Marine Biology.

One of the papers he worked on was on how the nuclear tests in the Bikini Atol effected Predator genetics.

The results learned that the nuclear tests during the cold war disrupted shark breeding so much that species were splitting apart.

They called it the Post Modern Neo Shark Schism.

Our bins had been overflowing for weeks and neither of us wanted to take them out. One day I get home from work to find the bins emptied. My roommate says "I ended the bin Cold War"

And my reply was "Well I guess that makes you Garbagechev"

He probably has quite the hair-care bill, but I'm sure he's willing toupee for it.
It seems that everyone on the internet is Russian to say good things about him.
After his inauguration speech, everyone gave him a big hand.
His favorite winter Olympic event is the LYUUUUGE!
The other half of his supporters can be described with ancient, mystical legends: the Deep Lore-ables.
Nobody will be able to use cheap cotton drapes or table cloths after his ban on muslins.
Since the start of the cold war, many U.S. presidents have pissed off the Russians. Trump is the first to be accused of pissing ON them.
I subscribed to his newsletter because I never turn down a free MAGA-zine subscription.
Melania got used to everyone crowded into Trump Tower during the campaign. Now that everyone's gone, she looks around and it's just a little Barron.
Joke that inspired me is here : https://www.reddit.com/r/puns/comments/5p4ebt/on_donald_trumps_inaguration/

My Dad told this one a few months ago during a family dinner...

During the Cold War, an American ambassador and his wife were having dinner with a Russian ambassador and his wife. The meal was going well and everyone was having a good time until the American looked out the window and commented on the weather, "Looks like it is snowing outside." The Russian, named Rudolph, replied, "No, it's definitely raining." The debate went on for a few minutes and became quite heated until finally the American's wife spoke up and said, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."