My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...

"Swarm."

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the most dangerous part of New York in the winter?

Islip

:D

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elesde
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
I thought I could hear Tubular Bells on my farm this winter...

But it was just my cold field.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I have always preffered winter more than summer

Because in winter you can keep adding more layers until you are warm but in summer you can only take off so many before you are arrested

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrejb22
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A man & his wife were taking a winter stroll & admiring the trees that were glistening white with ice & snow. A stranger walked past them and said, β€œBeautiful hoar-frost!”

The man replied, β€œWhy thank you kind sir, but my name’s not Frost.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uncle_Bug_Music
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.

She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that he’s cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. She’s puzzled for a second and then says:

Icy, what you did there.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do birds fly south for the winter?

It's too far to walk.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaneywest
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dog in winter?

A pupsicle

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nav_the_gamer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Dads everywhere, every winter solstice at sunset

Man, today flew by

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThamilandryLFY
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I dropped the perfect terrible pun at work last winter...

So there were 6 of us...

With freezing rain pouring down on us at the end of a long work day, and in the middle of a daunting task- pulling underground cables, linking four transformers together (a task where something goes wrong about 50% of the time)

There is a jet line (pulling line) attached to the head of the cable being ran, and as we are nearing completion I hear my foreman (standing at the endpoint) yell "THE JET LINE IS FRAYING!!!".

Without pause I scream back "I was a FRAYED this would happen!"

The tension on the line ceases, and I look around and see 5 blank expressions just staring back at me.

Best day of my comedic life

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I was unprepared for a pun about Canadian winter hats...

It really toque me by surprise!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Winter is coming

This is snow joke

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rabid_Badger_83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do I like winter?

Because it is cool.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/msc24x
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do athletes wear during winter?

Bad mittens

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mercolorecords2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The bear couldn't decide whether to go north or south for the winter

He was a bipolar bear

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Since moving to Finland I’ve become addicted to winter sports

It started off with sledging which has finally lead to ski jumping. It’s a real slippery slope

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stiltonfondu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do birds fly south for the winter?

Because they can't swim.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hedges_101
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What can you catch from a vampire in the winter time?

Frost-bite.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/balkso
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What piece of winter clothing is edible?

A scarf.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.

Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baileywiki
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to buy my kid this winter coat we saw at the mall, but I couldn't afford it.

So I had to jacket.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLL_Motives
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Just saw a video of a guy sending his daughter into the store to buy winter air for their car tires.

Any other good jokes like that to play on my family?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Limited_myLes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s Irish, stays out all summer and goes inside in winter?

Patio Furniture

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marasydnyjade
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How else would they stay warm all winter?
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Dora and Diego visit the North West in winter

Dora and Diego travel to the Pacific Northwest in the middle of winter. Suddenly they realise that there is a problem with their car, so they quickly pull into a nearby garage. The mechanic comes out and asks them "so what's wrong with your car?" Dora replies:

"Wiper no Wiping!!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eldukae
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the trees fell when winter was finally over?

Releafed

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/urmommied
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do swallows fly south in winter?

Because it is too far to walk

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyGenZ
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Christmas pun - Joaquin in a Winter Wonderland
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaggyPi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I experience winter for the first time in 26 years, and i have to say

It's a cool thing.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arifshiddiq
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Be careful if you kids show an interest in winter sports...

It’s the start of a slippery slope

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I think my multivitamin gets jealous in the winter

I take extra D on the side that time of year

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexManchild
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
During winter, antarctica does not have

sundays

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chocoearlyy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do less marriages take place in winter

Because most of the brides get cold feet.

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/asian_despot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I guess spring is one the way... birds singing, animals emerging from winter dens, trees budding with potential...

What a re-leaf!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Feeling cold in winter?

Just stand in a corner, it has 90 degrees there!

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hfcRedd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the bee survive winter?

Because it wore a yellow jacket.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoldSweep
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I prefer to make my own antifreeze during the winter.

It's easy... I just take away her coat.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Knightstar76
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was Edward always on his computer during winter?

Because he was Snowden.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to take a winter swim

But after wading in I got cold feet.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the kid that hated winter do to shorten it?

He summerized it!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigjwuigi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do computers go in the winter?

To hot spots.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/insanechef58
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
The stock market probably do better in the winter...

More people have colds = more people eating soup.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dontb3jelous
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you find Will Smith in winter?

You look for fresh prints in the snow

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/king_quinoa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about this winter Olympic's sled rider with gigantism?

He's this season's biggest luger

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prince_ossin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Mullet wine is my favourite winter drink
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/owlaven
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do birds fly south for the winter

It's too far to walk

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...

"Swarm."

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...

"Swarm."

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
🚨︎ report

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