An ice pun
πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/irbinator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
Burt: Ernie, should we go out for ice cream?

Ernie: Sherbert

EDIT: Wow, I'm amazed at the upvotes.. Totally made my day. I came up with this yesterday while staring at bees pollinating our flowers. Random.

πŸ‘︎ 869
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnyhottub
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11
🚨︎ report
Walking home last night, I passed a slice of apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought to myself, β€œThe streets seem strangely desserted…”

πŸ‘︎ 183
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Retgits
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
🚨︎ report
How to Catch a Polar Bear: 1)Find a frozen lake 2)Dig a hole in the ice 3)Surround the hole with frozen peas 4)Hide nearby.

When the bear stops to take a pea, kick it in the ice hole!

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04
🚨︎ report
I just listened to a Spotify playlist of Meatloaf, Korn, and Bread followed by Ice-T & Ice Cube.

It was fulfilling, and also quite refreshing.

I think I'll finish off with Cake topped with The Cranberries.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ParanoidEyez
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me if I ate the ice cream she had in the freezer ?

I told her no. I ate it on the couch.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SeenYourTarget
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
What do Eskimos get when they sit on the ice too long?

Polaroids.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/siphodeus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05
🚨︎ report
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica? Wonder no more !

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualisticbird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow." "Freeze a jolly good fellow."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
Neapawlitan ice cream
πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beardedrabbit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
🚨︎ report
I've just lost my job as an ice cream tester.

I couldn't do sundaes...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolcalmjeff
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?

You could say it was a well thawed out plan.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/livelylou4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25
🚨︎ report
I dropped some ice making drinks today...

Kicking the ice under the fridge my wife gave me a dirty look...

"Can you forgive me?" I ask.

"Of course" she replies

"Well, I guess thats water under the Fridge then..."

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Agent_Sinatra
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who sells their body for Wendy’s ice cream?

A frosty-tute

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skatefishjam69420
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the ice that got tickled and only partially melted?

It’s snow laughing matter.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/salvedavus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
I just threw ice at a criminal and got him arrested

Just-ice served!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HungTDD
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
A woman checks out of target with two apples, a banana, and a quart of ice cream. The cashier asks, β€œAre you single?” The woman replies, β€œYes, how could you tell?”

β€œBecause you’re ugly.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/some-ginger-dude
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
How do you call ice that makes a lot of noise?

I scream

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/driftwood89
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
🚨︎ report
My friend Bert asked me for some ice cream

β€œSherbet,” I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CamerFlage
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
Papa Mai Ice Cream Khaa lun?

Nahi Khaa lun, chalo ghar.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shakuni_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
🚨︎ report
I’ve been wanting to go ice skating for a while. My friends bought me a pair of skates recently, but they broke on the first use!

If you ask me, they’re cheapskates.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FunkyFaz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
What is a time travelers favorite ice cream?

Ripple.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
Why does it suck to work at an ice cream shop?

Cause it’s always sprinkling

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fishy-breath
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the colour blind man sell ice cream?

His cones don’t work.

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
Want an ice-breaker?

Titanic.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Marvellous34
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
What is Homer Simpsons favorite ice cream?

Cookie D'OH!

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SpazMasterK
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
If an ice-cream franchise can't pay its power bills...

I guess it will go into liquidation

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beware_the_noid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
Why wouldn't the Army cook ever serve cake, ice cream or pies?

He was afraid of being charged with dessert-tion.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
Did you know people without feet cannot eat ice cream?

They are lack toes intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blochow2001
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06
🚨︎ report
It's ice cream!
πŸ‘︎ 162
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
My wife was furious at me for kicking ice-cubes all over the kitchen...

But now it’s just water under the fridge...

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the hipster like his ice-cream?

It was way too vanilla.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kartenhouse
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
I saw an ice cream holder made of polymerized siloxanes at the store today

But I thought "that's just a silly cone"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elDalvini
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
Canned ice is cool

But Candice is cooler

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jspittman
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
What ice cream company has the most money?

Wall’s Street

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Doorbell28
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
What would you call a sword made of ice?

Excali-buuurrrrr

πŸ‘︎ 238
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onthedown_lough
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
What do I do when my ice house falls apart?

Igloo it back together again.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
Drinking ice coffee in coronatine

Ice-o-latted

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
A Penguin sent his car off to the mechanic before going to the ice cream shop...

He ordered vanilla ice cream and gobbles it down before going back to the mechanic.

Mechanic: It looks like you blew a seal.

Penguin: Ah no that’s just ice cream.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JalepenoPeppers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new tool they use for ice farming?

It's called an ice-sickle

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadowDabber
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
My kid asked today where I learned to make ice-cream

I answered 'in sundae school', he laugh-snorted, my wife gave me the look we all know here.

πŸ‘︎ 217
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Demonazzzz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
What do you call a juice with no ice in it?

Ju.

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
How much money do professional ice skaters make in a year?

Eight figures but unfortunately they can't access it because their accounts are frozen.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RickC-249
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
The head of Big Cat Rescue and the female antagonist in the hit Netflix documentary has been arrested after holding up an ice cream shop.

Police are reporting that it was Baskin-Robbins.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cashmag3001
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
No ice
πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/papa_papito
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
Eating green ice cream together

Dad: hey, you wanna try some of this ice cream, it's green.

10 y/o Daughter: eww, is that booger flavor?

Dad: no, it's not

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mortyd1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
What's a vampire's favorite ice-cream flavor?

Vein-illa.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RAH1SH
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
My wife was mad at me for kicking ice cubes under the refrigerator,

but now it's just water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
Sad story about the Native American that drank 37 glasses of ice tea. The next morning they found him dead...

Face down in his tea pee.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
Do you want an ice water, a nice water, or an eye swatter?
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ApeMafia
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
I used to get irrationally angry at ice cubes and throw them onto the floor.

But now that's all just water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arbitrary_Bastion
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
n ice
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaimanSense
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
Let’s start this off by breaking the ice. It’s a slippery subject, but I know we can crack it!
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoFish484
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
This ice is sublime.
πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trchappybob
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
My 4yo daughter was playing ice cream shop, pretending that little pieces of chalk were the ice cream flavors. She asked me what flavor I wanted

Chalkolate

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/krigito
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
What does an Eskimo get when sitting on the ice too long?

Polaroids.

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1Autotech
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
I learned how to make ice cream the other day.

I guess that time at sundae school paid off...

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitchinatr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
At first my wife was upset at me for spilling some ice in the kitchen

But I explained to her that it was just water under the fridge now.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/allanon101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
Ice Cream Cone
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/z_Elektrisk_z
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
I thought about buying an ice cream truck and starting up my own business

But I heard the ice cream market is a rocky road

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KnightAngelic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What do cats put in their ice tea?

Mice cubes!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
What did Ernie say when Bert asked him for some ice cream?

Sure, Bert!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NothingCanHurtMe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
Just-ice is cold
πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Realiest-G
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do Eskimos get when sitting on the ice for too long?

Polaroids.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/siphodeus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
I was sacked from the ice cream factory today

Just because I refused to work on a Sundae!

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
My wife was livid when I dropped some ice and it went under the refrigerator.

It's just water under the fridge now.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
My son just played "Don't Break The Ice" by himself with two hammers and exclaimed "I won!"

To which I replied "but on the other hand, you lost"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/badenglishihave
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
With the COVID virus going around the NHL season is on ice.

I love you all

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rabidrooster
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
I stared at an ice cube

It was a pretty cool view.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheKingIsHereBoys
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
A polar bear and his son are sitting on the ice

The son looks up at his dad and says, "Hey, dad? Am I a 100% polar bear?"

The dad says, "Yes, son."

A few minutes go by and the son again asks, "You sure? Like all the way?"

The dad gets annoyed and says, "Yes, 100%. Your mothers a polar bear, I'm a polar bear, so you're a polar bear. Why do you keep asking?!"

The son responds, "Cause I'm frickin freezing!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/byebyefetus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice?

A Popsicle.

πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Vanilla Ice had a meltdown the other day.

Now he goes by vanilla puddle.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the shop around the corner that sells Indian ice cream?

It’s a New Delhi...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
How does Reese eat her ice cream?

Witherspoon

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I stole and tried to melt an ice sculpture

When the police kicked in my door they yelled: FREEZE!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/g0lden3agle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
My wife got mad at me for kicking the dropped ice cubes under the refrigerator.

But now it’s all water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Ice is such a hard thing to study

Its such a slippery element to grasp

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nativejoel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Where did you learn to make ice cream?

Sunday school.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are you eating ice cream?

Because it's Sundae

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Escalade1414
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Under a post on r/BattleForDreamIsland about Ice Cube
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ToxianLeader
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I was walking down the street, and a man threw cheese, milk, and ice cream at me.

How dairy.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GayBookBoy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I can melt an ice cube using the power of my mind

It takes quite a while though.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_TheProff_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Where can you learn to make the best ice cream?

Sundae school

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keithnigel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Kids: Hey dad, Don Lemon is interviewing Ice-T on TV!

Dad: Half Lemon, half Ice-T? Why didn't you just save time and say it was Arnold Palmer?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do Dads say when they fart eating ice cream?

Oops...that's just a little dairy air.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/catonmyshoulder69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I just listened to a Spotify playlist of Meatloaf, Korn, and Bread followed by Ice-T & Ice Cube.

It was fulfilling, and also quite refreshing.

I think I'll finish off with Cake topped with The Cranberries.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ParanoidEyez
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
🚨︎ report
My wife got mad at me for kicking ice cubes under the refrigerator.

But now it's all water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do you learn how to make ice cream?

In sundae school

πŸ‘︎ 149
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Where did you learn to make ice cream?

Sunday school.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice?

A Popsicle.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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