Cause it didn’t have a thick enough coat
He thought it was the Just-Ice League!
He thought he looked cool.
You take away her blanket
Literally the only thing he ever wants to do is Netflix and Chill
The campsite reports that it is the first time that they've encountered such a tent nickel difficulty.
He force-stops it.
Well, he put the entire franchise on ice.
Take away her blanket.
I may have laughed a bit too hard
After he climbed out he said, "Here is ze dog, dry him off and he vill be fine." I said, "Are you a vet?" To which he replied, annoyed; "Vet? I'm fucking zoaking."
I guess you can call him Burrrrr-rito
Eyewitness say, the man was in-Seine.
I call it the 0k boomer experiment.
He said, “vet? I’m fucking soaking”
....or, am I a really bad teacher ?
So there were 6 of us...
With freezing rain pouring down on us at the end of a long work day, and in the middle of a daunting task- pulling underground cables, linking four transformers together (a task where something goes wrong about 50% of the time)
There is a jet line (pulling line) attached to the head of the cable being ran, and as we are nearing completion I hear my foreman (standing at the endpoint) yell "THE JET LINE IS FRAYING!!!".
Without pause I scream back "I was a FRAYED this would happen!"
The tension on the line ceases, and I look around and see 5 blank expressions just staring back at me.
Best day of my comedic life
Like, when you're freezing, go and stand in a corner. It's 90 degrees there.
This is 0K
Father says, “thaw it out, kiddo”.
It's super hard
The 1st amendment is the right to freeze peach.
"Vet? I'm fucking soaked!"
The vacuum of space.
He told the owner “keep him warm and he vill be fine” the owner asked “are you a vet?” The German replied “vet? I’m soaking!”
EDIT: Some people feel like I need to make it clear this is not my joke so... it’s not my joke.
Freeze it and drill the hell out of it.
but it hurt like hail.
The sun must be some kind of space heater.
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualisticbird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow." "Freeze a jolly good fellow."
He has way too much Thyme on his hands.
Turns out I left all the Windows open
So I stood in a corner. It was 90 degrees.
(I literally made this joke up tonight and I'm a Dad)
But it's still the hottest day of the year
I live in East Tennessee and it's freezing. Mom was giving me some money for gas. She called it cold hard cash and died laughing.