Due to freezing conditions in New York, the mens American Naturist Society....
.....has seen the size of their members shrink dramatically.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
A German tourist jumped off to the freezing water to save my precious dog who was drowning.
After he climbed out he said, "Here is ze dog, dry him off and he vill be fine."
I said, "Are you a vet?"
To which he replied, annoyed; "Vet? I'm fucking zoaking."
π︎ 67
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
My Mexican Uncle Rito came to visit recently and said its freezing here.
I guess you can call him Burrrrr-rito
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
A man jumped into the freezing river in Paris...
Eyewitness say, the man was in-Seine.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
I have started freezing different objects at -273.15Β°c and blowing them up. Seeing with items reacted differently.
I call it the 0k boomer experiment.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Mar 17 2020
What did the scientists say while freezing at absolute zero?
π︎ 106
π
︎ Aug 28 2019
Son complains about his game freezing.
Father says, βthaw it out, kiddoβ.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 23 2020
Have you ever tried freezing lava?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 12 2020
Does freezing a donkey solid
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 25 2019
A german tourist jumped into a freezing lake to save someoneβs dog...
He told the owner βkeep him warm and he vill be fineβ the owner asked βare you a vet?β The German replied βvet? Iβm soaking!β
EDIT: Some people feel like I need to make it clear this is not my joke so... itβs not my joke.
π︎ 36
π
︎ Jul 13 2018
I donβt know if I got hit by freezing rain...
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 23 2019
Itβs weird how direct sunlight heats up my car while the air outside is well below freezing.
The sun must be some kind of space heater.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 02 2019
Left the PC on all night, when I woke up it was freezing
Turns out I left all the Windows open
π︎ 45
π
︎ Oct 16 2017
My office is FREEZING today! There's a cold giraffe coming in the window.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 04 2017
I was freezing
So I stood in a corner. It was 90 degrees.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 04 2017
What did the guy standing in the freezing cold waiting on a ride say?
Ooh brr.
(I literally made this joke up tonight and I'm a Dad)
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 17 2016
It's freezing in Chicago at -7F
But it's still the hottest day of the year
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 01 2018
My mom just dad-joked me in the freezing cold
I live in East Tennessee and it's freezing. Mom was giving me some money for gas. She called it cold hard cash and died laughing.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Feb 18 2015
The wife told me she was freezing cold in our house.
I told her she only needed to go to any corner of the house... They're all 90 degrees!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 24 2015
My friend was eating a salad at Chic Fil A and says "Man, my tooth is freezing"
I respond "it's because you're eating iceberg lettuce!"
π︎ 17
π
︎ Aug 28 2016
Daughter: Dad is your computer freezing?
Me: Actually, mine feels quite warm.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Apr 14 2015
Local authorities are advising that, due to freezing temperatures, everyone huddle in the corner
because it's 90 degrees there
π︎ 16
π
︎ Feb 27 2015
Why did the guys computer keep freezing?
Because he left his windows open
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 18 2014
"Wanna hear a dirty joke? Wanna know why they make toilet seats so freezing cold?"
"So it'll freeze the shit out of you."
Also,
"Here I sit all brokenhearted: tried to shit and only farted."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 29 2013
It's freezing in here
Son:Dad its freezing in here
Dad: Go stand in the corner
Son:Why
Dad: its 90Β°
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 19 2013
A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, βhere is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, βare you a vet?β
He said, βvet? Iβm fucking soakingβ
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jan 07 2020
My dog jumped into some freezing water. A random German tourist jumped in to save him. He told me "Here is ze dog. keep him varm and he vill be just fine". I asked if he was a vet.
"Vet? I'm fucking soaked!"
π︎ 27
π
︎ Nov 10 2018
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
