Just plain old frost bite ❄️
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πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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What does Jack Frost use to determine if it's cold enough to start hanging icicles?

His test-icles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steeple_fun
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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I’ve just been helping a man wearing a black robe holding a scythe get the frost off of his car

I was de-icing with death

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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There was a frost warming last night and I was worried about my garden.

I ended up losing everything except the iceberg lettuce.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/terkoon
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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Why did the snowman name his dog Frost?

Because sometimes Frost bites!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/V-Tac
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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Which superhero is best suited to defeat the frost giants?

Thor

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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When asked the time for his marriage, Jack Frost replied....

....snow time like the present.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drondol
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
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I saw a guy this morning wearing a black cloak and scraping the frost off his windscreen with a Scythe...

I was going to offer a hand but my wife told me it's not a good idea to de-ice with death

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πŸ‘€︎ u/26326312
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
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We discussed Robert Frost's "Mending Wall" today in Lit

Me: so I guess you could say he rides the fence about fences.

Classmate: and he doesn't want anyone to take offence about it.

Me: I gate what you're saying.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zubat_Breeder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
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With the first frost coming...

Oh no my tomatoes!

Better get out your tomasocks...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ferreteria
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2014
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I got banned from /r/DadJokes for submitting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

πŸ‘︎ 687
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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for lack of an intresting title
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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My son gets to play a frosted cinnamon biscuit in the school play!

It's a sweet role!

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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My frosted glass windows smashed this afternoon

It's unclear what happened

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πŸ‘€︎ u/endangeredpenguin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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My almost 3 year old just dad joked my wife

My wife told my almost three year old son that they would be making Christmas cookies with frosting. My son then said he didn’t like frosting. When my wife asked why, he said it was because the frosting would β€œsting” him.

Frosting. Frost-sting.

I’m so proud of him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snake_lamp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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The twelve days of Jokemas, day ten

What is a snowman's favorite cereal?

Frosted Flakes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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This cake was lit (made by me)
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Camping_time
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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What can you catch from a vampire in the winter time?

Frost-bite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/balkso
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Got these sexy frosted tips.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hippity-potato
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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You wouldn't think you'd want a pastry frosting made out of magical trees..

But it's actually enticing!

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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Why didn't the husband put the frosted cake in the fridge?

It was a 'frost free' fridge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elfere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
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Did you hear about the president's new favorite bakery? It's only serving treats with red, white, and blue frosting.

All the other ones were un-pastry-otic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybaby
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2015
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Why didn't the man put the frosted cake in the fridge?

It was a "frost" free fridge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elfere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2017
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What do you call a nordic person who never shows up on time?

A frosted flake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/omegaswepon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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What do you get when you make a vampire snowman?

Frost Bite!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prendrefeu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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What do you call a warm snowman?

Lack Frost

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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Just found out my daughter is a serial killer...

Frosted oaks specifically

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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The Cheerio story

So once upon a time, there was a planet shaped like a cheerio. A small moon made of milk or tied the planet, going through the center of the donut shaped world. On this planet, lived an interesting species. They acted and lived similarly to us humans? But looked just like large Cheerios (with footings hands and feet like miis) Within this society there were levels of Cheerios: original, honey nut, and finally frosted. The originals were the backbone of the economy, doing the herd labor while the honey nuts ran the businesses and the frosted Cheerios (the top of the top) led the world. Our story today focuses on a single Cheerio. Born into an original Cheerio family, this lad learned the hard way how to work. From a young age, he was forced to get a job in the local milk refinery, where his dad worked. He grew up, and soon had a family of his own. His wife, son, and daughter all worked hard, but were happy. One day walking home from school, the kids found a runaway honey nut Cheerio pup, and decided to keep him. It wasn’t much, but it inspired our little Cheerio friend here. One day, he got fed up with taking orders, and demanded a raise. His entire family has worked in this one factory for three generations, and he wanted to move up in the world, not just for him but also his kids. His old boss however, did not have the power to promote this Cheerio, and he was forced to make a life changing decision: he would go to the refinery company and use every penny in the family savings account (under the bed) to try and get a higher position. After waiting on line for over a week, his appoint was finally here. After bickering and bargaining for hours, the refinery company boss saw a spark in this lad’s eye. He agreed to give this Cheerio a promotion to the honored honey nut glaze in exchange for everything this man owned, including the family’s prized honey nut dog. Was it worth it? Well pretty soon he owned his own milk refinery and was able to breed his own honey nut dogs, so yes, yes it was. Owning and operating the refinery went smoothly. Milk was transported from the moon to the planet using space busses, and the milk itself was funneled down to the refineries using large straws. After the milk was ready to drink, it was shipped off to be sold. He was happy working here, but eventually he realized it wasn’t enough. This Cheerio, once a simple original Cheerio wanted to follow the β€œAmerican dream” and do the best he could. He wanted to become a frosted Ch

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackcrackaman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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What does Santa do to work off all of the cookies and milk he gets for Christmas?

FrostFit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BothHeadsBig
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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What do you call a muscular snowman?

Jacked Frost

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?

Frosted tips.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/N64GC
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2015
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Did you hear about the vampire that bit a snowman?

He got frost bite

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πŸ‘€︎ u/barwhalis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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Some quality Christmas dad jokes.

Q: Why did the mechanic sleep under the car? A: He wanted to wake up oily in the morning.

Q: What kind of cough medicine does Dracula take? A: Coffin medicine.

Q: What animals need oiling? A: Mice, because they squeak.

Q: How does Jack Frost get to work? A: By icicles.

Q: What do hedgehogs have for lunch? A: Prickled onions.

Q: What lies in a pram and wobbles? A: A jelly-baby.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/14andy4
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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I dropped my phone outside

I now have a snow mobile

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
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The Cheerio Joke

Oh boy do I have a joke for you kids! Its called the cheerio joke.


So there is this land called cheerio land and in cheerio land there are 7 classes of cheerio, 0-5 and the frosted cheerios. Now there is this level 0 cheerio. Hes homeless, living out on the street, probaly an alchoholic. But he falls in love with a frosted cheerio princess. So one day he sneaks into the royal gala and goes up to the princess and asks her "will you marry me?" Now she says "I like your style, youre a good looking guy, a bit scruffy but I like you. Tell you what I will marry you if you can become a frosted cheerio" So our guy goes back with a determination and gets a job and starts to pay off his debts. Now by having a job and his debts paid he becomes a level 1 cheerio. So he works, and he works, and he works, and he WORKS and he finally becomes a level 2 cheerio. Now he goes back to the princess and askes her again, "will you marry me?" she says "no honey you really do have to become a frosted cheerio first." So he goes back and he works and works, hes a fryboy at McGrubers or something, I dont care. So he works and he works and he gets promoted at the restraunt and is making more money. And he works and he works and he works and by having that income raise he finally becomes a level 3 cheerio. He feels sucessful for the first time in his life but he is starting to fall back on his old ways. One day he goes to the casino and he loses and he loses and he loses and he gambled all his money away and he gets fired to boot because gambling is against company policy. So he is back down to a level 1 cheerio. He gets a job on a production line at a nearby factory and determines himself not to fall back ever again. So he works and he works and he works and he works and he WORKS, level 2, level 3, and he is doing great again. He is promoted to Floor manager of the factory and he is doing great and becomes a level 4 cheerio. But then one day a rival company sabotages their operation by putting poison in their toothpaste or whatever the hell they were making. They have to pay out damages and PR and the like and they declare bankruptcy. He is knocked back down to level 2 for the lack in income. But he is hired almost straight away by a branch of a huge conglomerate because they recognized how hard of a worker he is. So he works, level 3, works, level 4, and he works and works and WORKS. So he is promoted t

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/t17389z
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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There are three classes of cheerios

There are three classes of cheerios, the lower class (plain ol' cheerios), the middle class cheerios (frosted), and the elite class (honey nut). One soggy morning in Seattle, a plain cheerio awoke in his single room apartment. He looked out at the still sleepy city, blanketed in a mist of rain. He quickly got dressed and put his shoes on, this would be the day. He stood propped against the bus stop, smoking a cigarette. "God I have got to stop this habit." He thought to himself. Glancing back and forth at the bustle of cheerios, he saw her. She looked about 25, devastatingly gorgeous, and he could smell the honey from where he stood. "Excuse me ma'am," his voice quivered, "I - I think you might be the most beautiful cheerio I have ever seen." She smiled and her otherwise golden brown face grew red. " This is a long shot, but will you marry me?' She was obviously caught off guard by this, but her red lips formed the word, "Yes." They raced through the morning mist of the city, and arrived at her fathers house. The cheerio bent down in front of her father. "Sir, I would like to ask for your blessing in marrying your daughter" "No! You are a regular cheerio and my daughter needs a high quality honey nut" he snapped. "But sir." "No means no damnit!" "Sir this is very unrea-" "You come back a honey nut and you'll have my blessing, my daughter is not about to marry a low life like you." The cheerio sprinted home, tears streaming down his face. He fumbled against the lock and sprawled out on his bed. When he awoke it was early, his sheets had a dark silhouette from his wet jacket. He sat up and lit a cigarette. "Damn." he sighed to himself. Walking in front of his mirror, he noticed something different. His body was frosted! He had become a frosted cheerio! He darted out the door without shoes, reaching the honey nut household in no time at all. He banged on the door, and the beauty's father answered. "Sir I am a changed cheerio! I'm frosted!" he exclaimed. Her father had a stern look on his face. "You think you are any better? The dirt on my boots are worth more than you." he hissed. The old honey nut slammed the door on the young frosted. He heard the deadbolt click. The newly frosted cheerio didn't take the same way home. He stood on the edge of a bridge, feeling the cool autumn wind on his sugar coated skin. Was he really going to go through with this? Was it worth it? No he was a frosted cheerio now. He couldn't get the girl, but he was a changed cheerio. He

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/R1pply
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2017
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Coworkers talking about new windows

Couple of my coworkers were talking about new windows one of them were putting in. As I'm walking to my office, I overhead them saying how the new windows are frosted and look really nice.

Me (interrupting them): Yeah, some of our windows are frosted too. But it's weird because in the winter time, they flake quite a bit for some reason.

Coworker 1: Flake? What do you mean?

Me: Yeah it's weird. My frosted window flakes all the time.

Coworker 2: OMG laughter

A few minutes pass as I grab some lunch and head back to my office.

Coworker 2: Anything else about your windows you'd like to tell us?

Me (after a brief pause): They're grrrrrrrrrrreat!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nuclfusion4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2017
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What did the snowman eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mustachereviews
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2016
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Dad joked the guy at the gas station.

Guy was breaking the built up frost from inside the cooler. I walked up and said,

"You must not have a hard time starting conversations, huh?"

Guy - "No, not really. Why?"

Me- "You seem to be quite the icebreaker!"

Guy laughed and mentions it when I go in now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/killroy108
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2014
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I need some knee puns please

My dad had knee surgery yesterday And my wife made some cookies, she wants to write some witty knee jokes on them with frosting and we "kneed" your help! Thank you in advance all your beautiful people !

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JKRHP
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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