What kind of glue can you use to hold ice blocks together?

igloo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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I absentmindedly bought a block of cheese. As soon as I unwrapped it, it spoke, saying, "I'm depressed. Can you help with this sadness?"

Damn. I picked up bleu cheese.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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Lining up for blocks
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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Murders being conducted all over this block
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wanjirahope
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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For the past few days, I wake up to see someone has dumped a bunch of LEGO blocks on my front porch.

I don’t know what to make of it.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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A guy threw a block of cheese at me in the supermarket

I said to him β€œnow that’s no very mature now is it?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moistwee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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How did the bagel shop owner get rid of the competition on his block?

He ran a pretty intense schmear campaign

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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Need shredded cheese but only have a block?

Use the block to play your guitar really hard...

Shred it......

Cheesy I know, but I think it's gouda

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joker-here
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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What did one block of cheese say to the other?

β€œYou look Gouda today”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buzzito1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Why did the author suffer writers block after rectal surgery?

He was left with only a semicolon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ph00p
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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I won a duel last week with a block of cheddar cheese. How you might ask?

Because it was extra sharp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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My friend sent me this (don’t worry I didn’t block her)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aCkadoodledo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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I was in the supermarket the other day when this guy threw a block of cheddar at me.

Outraged, I shouted : "Well that's not very mature is it ?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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Got up this morning and ran around the block five times

Then I got tired so I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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I was sitting at home the other day when man broke in holding a block of cheese.

He stabbed me with it and all I could think was damn, that cheddar is sharp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doughboy9419
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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My neighbor denies throwing a cinder block through my front window,

But I have concrete evidence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tim696969
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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two cops go around the block and see if everything is in order...

one of them says "look, there's a dead bird!" the other looks up into the sky "where?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lilboxcutter
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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I'm trying to keep fit during iso, so this morning, I ran five times around the block.

I was so tired afterwards that my son had to put it back into the toy box.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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I was in the supermarket when a guy threw a block of cheese at me.

I looked over at him and shouted, β€œWell that’s not very mature is it??”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PringyUK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
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I accidentally cut myself while slicing up a block of cheese.

I didn't realize it was Extra Sharp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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The four building blocks of life.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2018
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I knew a kid who tried making music with a block of cheese

It was always too sharp for my taste.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Why can't you turn shredded cheese back into a block?

It would be de-grating.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProtectedLeft
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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Someone hit me in the head with a block of cheese.

Man that really rinds my ears.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeahThatWillDo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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A clip off the old block
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dis_newt02
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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My wife threw a block of cheddar at my head

I went "well that's mature"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jezzibell
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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What's a cat's favorite Minecraft block?

Purpur

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToxianLeader
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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My office block has a Schindler's lift
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mechrec
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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My friend was arrested because he was carving equations into a block of quartz.

He was charged with manufacturing crystal math.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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Told my girlfriend that the wreath she bought was great, but please make sure it doesn't block the doorway.

Because then it would be a Great Barrier Wreath.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wsing1974
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
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Block is here to spread the word of God! (Dunno if this is a pun)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StupidMario64
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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I drove by Legoland. People were lined up for blocks.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheineken
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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Why did the liar stand out of the block?

Because he was an outlier

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gourishbiradar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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Apologies for having to block out so much
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AniFaulscabek
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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After playing our set at the local block party, a group of kids walked up to the stage and the leader laughed, "You rock pretty good for a buncha ole geezers, but why the heck did you name your band, 'Bald Patch'!?" I shrugged and said...

"To be honest, it was off the top of my head."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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Somebody asked me how I make the snow blocks for my igloos in the winter.

I said: Usually igloo them together.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BurningArrows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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What does a cow say when you block her path???

Moooooooooooooooooove!!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatohead437
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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If you buy real, block Parmesan you don't have to worry about tossing it in your bag
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_NoSkillJustHax
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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Be careful about handling blocks of cheese.

Some of them might be sharp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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The kid who microwaved his toy construction blocks ended up with

Legoo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lulucifer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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Blocks of cheese are nice...

But shredded cheese is grate!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NonstopSuperguy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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Marty BrickFly and Block Brown
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πŸ‘€︎ u/misterfroster
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
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Spotted in front of a bar on my block
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πŸ‘€︎ u/you8mymuffins
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
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Someone threw a block of cheese into my window

I said to myself that wasn’t very mature

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBlueJelly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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On my way to work today, a man assaulted me by throwing a block of cheese and a bar of butter at me.

How dairy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/This_Guyyyyyyyy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
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So basicly if a block of cobblestone gets baked

Does it become stoned?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ICantFindOneHelp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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