Lining up for blocks
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
For the past few days, I wake up to see someone has dumped a bunch of LEGO blocks on my front porch.

I don’t know what to make of it.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
Need shredded cheese but only have a block?

Use the block to play your guitar really hard...

Shred it......

Cheesy I know, but I think it's gouda

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joker-here
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02
🚨︎ report
Why did the author suffer writers block after rectal surgery?

He was left with only a semicolon.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ph00p
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
🚨︎ report
What did one block of cheese say to the other?

β€œYou look Gouda today”.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buzzito1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
I was in the supermarket the other day when this guy threw a block of cheddar at me.

Outraged, I shouted : "Well that's not very mature is it ?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
🚨︎ report
Got up this morning and ran around the block five times

Then I got tired so I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
I won a duel last week with a block of cheddar cheese. How you might ask?

Because it was extra sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
🚨︎ report
My friend sent me this (don’t worry I didn’t block her)
πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aCkadoodledo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
My neighbor denies throwing a cinder block through my front window,

But I have concrete evidence.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tim696969
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
I was sitting at home the other day when man broke in holding a block of cheese.

He stabbed me with it and all I could think was damn, that cheddar is sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doughboy9419
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
two cops go around the block and see if everything is in order...

one of them says "look, there's a dead bird!" the other looks up into the sky "where?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lilboxcutter
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
I'm trying to keep fit during iso, so this morning, I ran five times around the block.

I was so tired afterwards that my son had to put it back into the toy box.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
I was in the supermarket when a guy threw a block of cheese at me.

I looked over at him and shouted, β€œWell that’s not very mature is it??”

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PringyUK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I knew a kid who tried making music with a block of cheese

It was always too sharp for my taste.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone hit me in the head with a block of cheese.

Man that really rinds my ears.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YeahThatWillDo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
I accidentally cut myself while slicing up a block of cheese.

I didn't realize it was Extra Sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
A clip off the old block
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dis_newt02
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't you turn shredded cheese back into a block?

It would be de-grating.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProtectedLeft
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife threw a block of cheddar at my head

I went "well that's mature"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jezzibell
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the liar stand out of the block?

Because he was an outlier

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gourishbiradar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend was arrested because he was carving equations into a block of quartz.

He was charged with manufacturing crystal math.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a cat's favorite Minecraft block?

Purpur

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToxianLeader
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My office block has a Schindler's lift
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mechrec
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
The four building blocks of life.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Somebody asked me how I make the snow blocks for my igloos in the winter.

I said: Usually igloo them together.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BurningArrows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
After playing our set at the local block party, a group of kids walked up to the stage and the leader laughed, "You rock pretty good for a buncha ole geezers, but why the heck did you name your band, 'Bald Patch'!?" I shrugged and said...

"To be honest, it was off the top of my head."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I drove by Legoland. People were lined up for blocks.
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheineken
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Block is here to spread the word of God! (Dunno if this is a pun)
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StupidMario64
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a cow say when you block her path???

Moooooooooooooooooove!!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatohead437
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Apologies for having to block out so much
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AniFaulscabek
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Be careful about handling blocks of cheese.

Some of them might be sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Told my girlfriend that the wreath she bought was great, but please make sure it doesn't block the doorway.

Because then it would be a Great Barrier Wreath.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wsing1974
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
🚨︎ report
If you buy real, block Parmesan you don't have to worry about tossing it in your bag
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_NoSkillJustHax
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
So basicly if a block of cobblestone gets baked

Does it become stoned?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ICantFindOneHelp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Blocks of cheese are nice...

But shredded cheese is grate!

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NonstopSuperguy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The kid who microwaved his toy construction blocks ended up with

Legoo.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lulucifer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one block of cheese say to the other block of cheese?

I feel grate

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oasishippie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone threw a block of cheese into my window

I said to myself that wasn’t very mature

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBlueJelly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
This morning I climbed up to the beehive in my yard and used putty to block the exit.

It was unbeeleavable

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
On the block...
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/albinomarshmellow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
When Trump closes the border, if the US runs out of avocados, is that just one big guac block?
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nolegrad15
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Marty BrickFly and Block Brown
πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/misterfroster
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
🚨︎ report
An ancient Greek playwright was suffering writer’s block. Kept scribbling down lines and then tearing up the pages.

Picking up the torn pages, his friend asked, β€œWhy Euripides?”

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirate-fool
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Spotted in front of a bar on my block
πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/you8mymuffins
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
🚨︎ report
On my way to work today, a man assaulted me by throwing a block of cheese and a bar of butter at me.

How dairy.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/This_Guyyyyyyyy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I was going through my twitter account, and remembered I write puns when I have writer’s block. Hopefully this counts.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Otto-Erotic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Why was there an H&R Block in the Ocean?

For tax Porpoises

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OhYasureyoubetcha
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My kid just stacked some letter blocks like so:

F

F

U

T

S

S

I

H

T

You couldn't make this stuff up.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the block of ice say when it saw the letter E?

I C E

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shrewy211
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
If someone punches you and you block it with a bowl....

Does that mean you bowled a strike?

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DracotheReaper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I was walking down the street when a group of kids threw a block of cheese off me, they burst into laughter and I yelled

β€œThat’s not mature is it”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrowerNotAShower2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I once heard of a block of cheese so pure...

some would call it Legendairy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeterPanpai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I got a block of iron in the mail

I guess you can say I finally have a fe mail in my life

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDestroyer575
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad gave me some advice on writer's block.

"Forcing creative work is like forcing a fart...it will probably come out much worse than you had hoped."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drew9348
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What could an elven archer and a girl made from plastic blocks possibly have in common?

They both could be Lego-lass

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MysteryOrange7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
This morning, I jogged around the block 15 times.

Then I picked it up, and put it back in my kid’s toy box.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Road block

A truck carrying Vicks Vapour Rub has spilt its load on the Freeway

Police are warning of no congestion for up to 8 hours.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a waffle mixed with building blocks?

A Leggo

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CannFarmre
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I had to hoof it back up a few blocks to take this picture.
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seatpan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Someone should build a gay club out of legos and name it "The Cock Block."
πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thecakeisaiive
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2017
🚨︎ report
I was building a tower out of blocks and decided to use a box fan at the bottom

I call it my fan base

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trashcancomic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2017
🚨︎ report
chip off the old block!
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cazolipop
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Chips off the old block
πŸ‘︎ 167
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshTay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2014
🚨︎ report
Got my wife in H&R Block

When my wife arrived at their office there was some confusion. I got there a couple of mins later while they where trying to figure it out. Tax Guy: it seems someone made a mistake and made the appointment in the Marshville office. Wife: I don't even know where that office is. Me: It's in Marshville.

the Tax Guy and I got a good laugh, The Wife just rolled her eyes like always.

*edit: spelling

πŸ‘︎ 221
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πŸ‘€︎ u/naut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2014
🚨︎ report
Plugging wires into a lead block produces an AC/DC current

Because it's heavy metal

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ams1492
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend and I were discussing LEGO blocks

Girlfriend: I built the London Bridge* LEGO set. It was really hard.

Me: That’s probably because it kept falling down.

*What she is calling London Bridge is actually the Tower Bridge in London.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealNateFrog
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
🚨︎ report
The fast-food chicken place down the block is having a Hillary Clinton special - 5-piece meal for $5...

...two small breasts, two large thighs, and a left wing.

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kempff
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2015
🚨︎ report
A man on the street threw a bottle of milk and a block of cheese at me

I thought, "how dairy!"

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2017
🚨︎ report
I'll passionately block a river for a french female clown

I'll dam it, Madame It, damn it!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
🚨︎ report
So there's a cemetery next to a block of flats.

Why aren't the residents of that block of flats allowed to be buried in that cemetery?

Because they're not dead

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nobba77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Looking for Minecraft-based puns for a server name. Anything to do with mining, blocks, or any feature of Minecraft helps!

A friend of mine started a server recently and we're trying to brainstorm ideas for names for our server. Puns are always the right way to go. As long as it's not taken already and the .com or .org is available, anything is fair game! Thanks in advance. :)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/terminavelocity
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2014
🚨︎ report
Do you know why I'm voting for a block of cheddar this election?

I wanna make America grate again.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/patricktoba
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2016
🚨︎ report
Guac block: when a girl is too obsessed with the guacamole to notice your sexual advances at the party
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_mymourningjacket
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2015
🚨︎ report
Last night I used a towel to block a drafty door until I could buy some weatherstripping

It was, admittedly, a stop-gap solution.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blazemongr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2016
🚨︎ report
I was walking with my golf clubs a couple blocks to my car.

I stopped next to a Dad at a street corner. He looked at me and said "heh... must have been a pretty bad slice".

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
🚨︎ report
Just a few blocks down the street... (X-post from r/funny)
πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/W0rdN3rd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2013
🚨︎ report
My friend threw a block of butter at me.

How dairy.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/samalexanderjones
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2015
🚨︎ report
I decided to get my friends 2 sets of Alphabet Blocks each for Christmas

So now whenever I tell a dad joke they can roll their Is!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dxdrummer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Chip off the old block

Me to my 5 year old daughter: Do not ask me to go to the park again! My daughter: "can we go to the park" Me: Which part of "do not ask" didn't you understand? My 7 year old son: "not"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DilithiumCrystals
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad's been around the block a time or two...

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/grobmyer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2013
🚨︎ report
Dad Joke on Ken Block

http://imgur.com/1UUdwcw

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MulletWhip
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2014
🚨︎ report

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