For the past few days, I wake up to see someone has dumped a bunch of LEGO blocks on my front porch.
I don’t know what to make of it.
Need shredded cheese but only have a block?
Use the block to play your guitar really hard...
Cheesy I know, but I think it's gouda
Why did the author suffer writers block after rectal surgery?
He was left with only a semicolon.
What did one block of cheese say to the other?
I was in the supermarket the other day when this guy threw a block of cheddar at me.
Outraged, I shouted : "Well that's not very mature is it ?"
Got up this morning and ran around the block five times
Then I got tired so I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box!
I won a duel last week with a block of cheddar cheese. How you might ask?
Because it was extra sharp.
My friend sent me this (don’t worry I didn’t block her)
My neighbor denies throwing a cinder block through my front window,
But I have concrete evidence.
I was sitting at home the other day when man broke in holding a block of cheese.
He stabbed me with it and all I could think was damn, that cheddar is sharp.
two cops go around the block and see if everything is in order...
one of them says "look, there's a dead bird!"
the other looks up into the sky
I'm trying to keep fit during iso, so this morning, I ran five times around the block.
I was so tired afterwards that my son had to put it back into the toy box.
I was in the supermarket when a guy threw a block of cheese at me.
I looked over at him and shouted, “Well that’s not very mature is it??”
I knew a kid who tried making music with a block of cheese
It was always too sharp for my taste.
Someone hit me in the head with a block of cheese.
Man that really rinds my ears.
I accidentally cut myself while slicing up a block of cheese.
I didn't realize it was Extra Sharp.
Why can't you turn shredded cheese back into a block?
My wife threw a block of cheddar at my head
I went "well that's mature"
Why did the liar stand out of the block?
Because he was an outlier
My friend was arrested because he was carving equations into a block of quartz.
He was charged with manufacturing crystal math.
What's a cat's favorite Minecraft block?
My office block has a Schindler's lift
The four building blocks of life.
Somebody asked me how I make the snow blocks for my igloos in the winter.
I said: Usually igloo them together.
After playing our set at the local block party, a group of kids walked up to the stage and the leader laughed, "You rock pretty good for a buncha ole geezers, but why the heck did you name your band, 'Bald Patch'!?" I shrugged and said...
"To be honest, it was off the top of my head."
I drove by Legoland. People were lined up for blocks.
Block is here to spread the word of God! (Dunno if this is a pun)
What does a cow say when you block her path???
Apologies for having to block out so much
Be careful about handling blocks of cheese.
Some of them might be sharp.
Told my girlfriend that the wreath she bought was great, but please make sure it doesn't block the doorway.
Because then it would be a Great Barrier Wreath.
If you buy real, block Parmesan you don't have to worry about tossing it in your bag
So basicly if a block of cobblestone gets baked
Blocks of cheese are nice...
But shredded cheese is grate!
The kid who microwaved his toy construction blocks ended up with
What did one block of cheese say to the other block of cheese?
Someone threw a block of cheese into my window
I said to myself that wasn’t very mature
This morning I climbed up to the beehive in my yard and used putty to block the exit.
When Trump closes the border, if the US runs out of avocados, is that just one big guac block?
Marty BrickFly and Block Brown
An ancient Greek playwright was suffering writer’s block. Kept scribbling down lines and then tearing up the pages.
Picking up the torn pages, his friend asked, “Why Euripides?”
Spotted in front of a bar on my block
On my way to work today, a man assaulted me by throwing a block of cheese and a bar of butter at me.
I was going through my twitter account, and remembered I write puns when I have writer’s block. Hopefully this counts.
Why was there an H&R Block in the Ocean?
My kid just stacked some letter blocks like so:
You couldn't make this stuff up.
What did the block of ice say when it saw the letter E?
If someone punches you and you block it with a bowl....
Does that mean you bowled a strike?
I was walking down the street when a group of kids threw a block of cheese off me, they burst into laughter and I yelled
“That’s not mature is it”
I once heard of a block of cheese so pure...
some would call it Legendairy.
I got a block of iron in the mail
I guess you can say I finally have a fe mail in my life
My dad gave me some advice on writer's block.
"Forcing creative work is like forcing a fart...it will probably come out much worse than you had hoped."
What could an elven archer and a girl made from plastic blocks possibly have in common?
They both could be Lego-lass
This morning, I jogged around the block 15 times.
Then I picked it up, and put it back in my kid’s toy box.
A truck carrying Vicks Vapour Rub has spilt its load on the Freeway
Police are warning of no congestion for up to 8 hours.
What do you call a waffle mixed with building blocks?
I had to hoof it back up a few blocks to take this picture.
Someone should build a gay club out of legos and name it "The Cock Block."
I was building a tower out of blocks and decided to use a box fan at the bottom
Got my wife in H&R Block
When my wife arrived at their office there was some confusion. I got there a couple of mins later while they where trying to figure it out.
Tax Guy: it seems someone made a mistake and made the appointment in the Marshville office.
Wife: I don't even know where that office is.
Me: It's in Marshville.
the Tax Guy and I got a good laugh, The Wife just rolled her eyes like always.
Plugging wires into a lead block produces an AC/DC current
Girlfriend and I were discussing LEGO blocks
Girlfriend: I built the London Bridge* LEGO set. It was really hard.
Me: That’s probably because it kept falling down.
*What she is calling London Bridge is actually the Tower Bridge in London.
The fast-food chicken place down the block is having a Hillary Clinton special - 5-piece meal for $5...
...two small breasts, two large thighs, and a left wing.
A man on the street threw a bottle of milk and a block of cheese at me
I'll passionately block a river for a french female clown
I'll dam it, Madame It, damn it!
So there's a cemetery next to a block of flats.
Why aren't the residents of that block of flats allowed to be buried in that cemetery?
Because they're not dead
Looking for Minecraft-based puns for a server name. Anything to do with mining, blocks, or any feature of Minecraft helps!
A friend of mine started a server recently and we're trying to brainstorm ideas for names for our server. Puns are always the right way to go. As long as it's not taken already and the .com or .org is available, anything is fair game! Thanks in advance. :)
Do you know why I'm voting for a block of cheddar this election?
I wanna make America grate again.
Guac block: when a girl is too obsessed with the guacamole to notice your sexual advances at the party
Last night I used a towel to block a drafty door until I could buy some weatherstripping
It was, admittedly, a stop-gap solution.
I was walking with my golf clubs a couple blocks to my car.
I stopped next to a Dad at a street corner. He looked at me and said "heh... must have been a pretty bad slice".
Just a few blocks down the street... (X-post from r/funny)
My friend threw a block of butter at me.
I decided to get my friends 2 sets of Alphabet Blocks each for Christmas
So now whenever I tell a dad joke they can roll their Is!
Chip off the old block
Me to my 5 year old daughter: Do not ask me to go to the park again!
My daughter: "can we go to the park"
Me: Which part of "do not ask" didn't you understand?
My 7 year old son: "not"
Dad's been around the block a time or two...
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.