Daughter: Dad, can you pause the movie so I can grab a snack.
Dad: (grabs the cats paws and pushes them) Sorry, I'm pushing pause but it's not working!
Grizzly bear walks into a bar. Says to the bartender "i'll have a whiskey..................on the rocks, please" bartender asks "whats with the big pause?"
Grizzly looks perplexed and replies "Ive had them all my life"
Called my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, could you please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?" She answered, "Yeah..."
"But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now!"
A guy says he taught his dog Morse code. "Aye right Show me." Mate says. Guy turns to dog and asks "who's been a good boy then?" Dog uses paw on ground. Tap tap pause tap long pause tap pause tap pause tap long pause tap pause tap pause tap long pause tap tap tap pause tap. "what he say?" Mate asks
Maybe he was....(takes long pause) perfoming a drill
Bear walks into a bar. Bartender says - “what’ll you have?” Bear says “I’ll have a beer......... and...................... um.............. a bourbon.” Bartender says “alright. Say what’s with the big pause?”
Bear says “oh these? I was born with em.”
A bear walks into a bar and says "I want a gin.........and tonic." Bartender asks "why the big pause?"
Bear: holds up paws "cuz I'm a bear"
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?
”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
I asked my husband to please press pause
and he did so on our dog’s paws
My dog would like to hit pause on his music career.
That means he would like to continue with it.
The pastor wanted to pause for a moment of prayer this morning.
Dog pause
So I’m watching a movie with my dad and he asks me to pause it and as he walks out of the room he goes “roof roof dog pause”
Watching a UFC fight, my dad pauses it and turns to me:
Dad: "Hey I heard UPS and UFC were going to make a deal and let some UPS workers fight soon."
Me: "Uhhh... what? That makes no sense."
Dad: "No it does. I mean... the UPS guys are already professional boxers. It's only logical."
Mom asked me if i could pause an online game.
I said, no it's impausible
Whats the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
You’re about to deliver a punchline to a blues-rock legend, but you pause for comedic timing.
I've lost a leg because of a pause
Now I know why the farmer was so alarmed when I took a stroll in His Field.
I hate it when I'm watching TV and my dog comes and puts her pause on the remote.
Pause!
My dad walked into the room when my mom and I were watching the finale of a show and i kept yelling pause for her to pause it.
My dad said Pas? There's no Pas, theres just one Pa!
Took me a few seconds, it was the peak of his dad jokes though
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?"
"Yeah…" she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now…"
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?
”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
My dog would like to hit pause on his music career.
That means he would like to keep going with it.
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?
”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?
”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
