Pause Puns

A list of puns related to "Pause"

I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?"

"Yeah…" she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now…"

👍︎ 8k
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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Apr 16 2020
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Maybe he was....(takes long pause) perfoming a drill
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👤︎ u/Banoooooooo
📅︎ Aug 20 2020
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A guy says he taught his dog Morse code. "Aye right Show me." Mate says. Guy turns to dog and asks "who's been a good boy then?" Dog uses paw on ground. Tap tap pause tap long pause tap pause tap pause tap long pause tap pause tap pause tap long pause tap tap tap pause tap. "what he say?" Mate asks

"woof" guy replies

👍︎ 15k
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👤︎ u/RedDogBoyMark
📅︎ Dec 06 2019
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Bear walks into a bar. Bartender says - “what’ll you have?” Bear says “I’ll have a beer......... and...................... um.............. a bourbon.” Bartender says “alright. Say what’s with the big pause?”

Bear says “oh these? I was born with em.”

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👤︎ u/Bradb717
📅︎ Aug 18 2020
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A bear walks into a bar and says "I want a gin.........and tonic." Bartender asks "why the big pause?"

Bear: holds up paws "cuz I'm a bear"

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👤︎ u/Jherin
📅︎ Aug 28 2020
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I asked my husband to please press pause

and he did so on our dog’s paws

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👤︎ u/ParticularMillennial
📅︎ Aug 16 2020
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A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?

”

The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”

👍︎ 430
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👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 08 2019
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Can we all just pause? This is very important (I had to cross-post this)
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👤︎ u/Yoofraj
📅︎ Dec 14 2019
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My dog would like to hit pause on his music career.

That means he would like to continue with it.

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👤︎ u/vEnoM_420
📅︎ Dec 23 2019
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This made me pause
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👤︎ u/OnlyUsesFourWords
📅︎ Mar 26 2019
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Dog pause

So I’m watching a movie with my dad and he asks me to pause it and as he walks out of the room he goes “roof roof dog pause”

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👤︎ u/LucyCarmicheal
📅︎ Nov 15 2019
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The pastor wanted to pause for a moment of prayer this morning.
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👤︎ u/naturallyjoy
📅︎ Apr 08 2018
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Mom asked me if i could pause an online game.

I said, no it's impausible

👍︎ 30
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👤︎ u/kcir_semirg
📅︎ May 29 2018
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Watching a UFC fight, my dad pauses it and turns to me:

Dad: "Hey I heard UPS and UFC were going to make a deal and let some UPS workers fight soon."

Me: "Uhhh... what? That makes no sense."

Dad: "No it does. I mean... the UPS guys are already professional boxers. It's only logical."

👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/celestianequator
📅︎ Dec 28 2013
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What do to call a potato that pauses?

A hesi-tator.

👍︎ 9
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👤︎ u/infamouscheater
📅︎ Feb 02 2019
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Whats the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
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👤︎ u/skee_bott
📅︎ Dec 14 2017
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You’re about to deliver a punchline to a blues-rock legend, but you pause for comedic timing.

Tom Waits.

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👤︎ u/Kubloo
📅︎ May 08 2018
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I've lost a leg because of a pause

Now I know why the farmer was so alarmed when I took a stroll in His Field.

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👤︎ u/analytik
📅︎ Sep 29 2017
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I hate it when I'm watching TV and my dog comes and puts her pause on the remote.
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👤︎ u/badfish321
📅︎ Jul 01 2015
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Pause!

My dad walked into the room when my mom and I were watching the finale of a show and i kept yelling pause for her to pause it.

My dad said Pas? There's no Pas, theres just one Pa!

Took me a few seconds, it was the peak of his dad jokes though

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/dalcowboiz
📅︎ Feb 02 2015
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A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?

”

The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”

👍︎ 20
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👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 12 2019
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My dog would like to hit pause on his music career.

That means he would like to keep going with it.

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/vEnoM_420
📅︎ Dec 23 2019
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A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?

”

The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?

”

The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report

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