What game does German bread play during recess?

Gluten Tag

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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With market going into recession

Is it crude to make oil jokes now ?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bruh-sick
πŸ“…︎ May 23
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What's the difference between a depression and a recession?

A recession is when you lose your job, a depression is what happens when I lose mine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zreichez
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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Do you struggle to find domed recesses in cathedrals these days?

You know, they have apse for that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snowmansni
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2017
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What do you call an adult man playing on a playground in his suit?

A lawyer on recess

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jrbjordan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
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The anticipation...

I'm an elementary school teacher. When kids tell me they're tired, hungry etc, I often give the typical "hi hungry, I'm Adam response"

On Friday a first grader came to me at recess and said "I'm bored!" I said "ok". She looked confused, then flustered, then blurted out "...nice to meet you Adam!" and ran away to play on the swings.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HosstownRodriguez
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2016
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A Punnet Square...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greenishcrayon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2013
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It was the first day of school and a kid almost went to the hospital

I'm a pre-k teacher, and when I was hanging around during my break at the first grade recess, one of them tripped over a ball a few feet away, and saw me watching her. She said, "I'm okay." with a proud voice.

I walked over slowly, asked her if she needs to go to the hospital. She responded no. I walked her over to the teachers on duty, and told them that she needed to go to the hospital. She kept saying that she didn't.

I told them that she needs to go because she forgot her name. She thinks her name is "okay."

She stared at me and shook her head while the teachers laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Illogical_Fallacy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2015
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Watching the news.

My friend's dad was watching the news and I had just walked in and sat down. We made small talk and then I asked what was going on with the news and he drops this prize on me "There was a kidnapping at a school, ...... but it's okay he woke up before recess".
I got a really good chuckle out of this.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2014
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Studying for my MCAT when I came across this passage in Verbal.

I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]

Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, β€œA pun is the lowest form of wit,” a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.

Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, β€œIt is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.” Oscar Levant has added a tag line: β€œA pun is the lowest form of humorβ€”when you don’t think of it first.” John Crosbie and Bob

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zil2mz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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My parents are renovating their kitchen right now.

My parents are in their kitchen, talking about their different lighting options. Right now, they have several (8, in fact) recessed lights. Some are on a dimmer, some are not.

Mom's talking about how with the way the lights are currently set up, she likes when only 4 are turned on, based on the way they're set up.

"At any rate, the way it looks right now, won't be the same if we get the pendant lights put in. It'll be much better, they won't all be so close together" Mom says.

"Yeah", says Dad, "they'll all be...

Indie-pendant"

God love him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sincerelyfreakish
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2013
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