Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!

Our therapist said I need to valley date you.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/audioinside
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a stressful session at the nail salon called?

A panicure

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aceto1469
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Norse god of thunder say after biting his tongue during an intense weight-lifting session?

Man, I'm thor.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fast sheep say during his aerobic session?

Zumba

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumanityIsBigGay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the mummy say after his therapy session?

Thanks doc, it was so hard keeping all that under wraps

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WalrusNerd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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My girlfriend thanked me for the videos I sent her from my masturbation session.

The pleasure was all mine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrogOnALeash
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Who decided to call them online yoga sessions
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robotreader
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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The Supreme Court is still in session without Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

So far, their decisions have been ruthless.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavideoandPhoto
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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I'm inviting everyone to join me in a thought-session of Stephen King's iconic shape-shifting clown.

Come to think of IT.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ankit_dey
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried out a weight watchers group therapy session but no one would talk about their experiences.

There were just too many elephants in the room

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The Supreme Court held a session today to decide whether Justice Ginsburg should step down

The debate was Ruthless.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stretch85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a marriage counselling session with my wife and we were prescribed Marital Arts classes, after which our relation became more violent...

I'm starting to think the therapist didn't make a spelling mistake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Hit the hammer that judges have and says β€œworm court is in session”. Then says

β€œAll writhe”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Babyblu4321
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
If Icecube got into a fight with strangers what will the session be called?

Ice breaking session

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PanPitza
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a killer whale end its mating session?

With an Orcasm

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bwugrs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A Library-themed D&D session with the following set-ups: reddit.com/r/pun/comments…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dracon_Pyrothayan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
After an intense session at the gym, I asked my personal trainer what was the best way to show off my new muscles.

He told me to hang upside down from a tree branch and curl my arms behind my back.

I said β€œweird flex but OK”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
A friend who lost all his toes to a lawnmower wants me to take him to a group therapy session for toeless people.

I told him I wasn’t comfortable with this, and now he’s accusing me of being lack-toes intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TarantulaPets
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
[Request] I need every skeleton/bone related pun you can think of for an upcoming D&D session...I want to really get under my players skin and give them a good ribbing!
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwimmingNaked
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend wants me to read the details on this website from the Kevin Fiege AMA session...

He doesn't realise I've Reddit.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uncoded_decimal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I brought peanut butter the the jam session

They were all jelly

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/realfleshperson
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I guess you could say that Jeff's Session's over
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdauriemma
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Organizing a yoga session was very easy

Luckly she was freelance so her hours were flexible

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chadus_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
A swordsman was late to his training session...

Upon arrival he said, "Cut me some slack man!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xevetv
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My training session for my garbage collection job was very successful.

I picked it up really well.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
The former NBA commissioner was persuaded to buy a family gym package that included unlimited personal training sessions...

After the trainer vowed she would leave no Stern untoned.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whosevelt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
First day of calculus summer session today...

(Right before I leave)

Mom:Be safe driving over there

Me: Ok, Mom

Dad: Be safe deriving over there

Me: Goddamnit

πŸ‘︎ 230
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wiebs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2014
🚨︎ report
What did the rabbi say when he finally found his nephew after a drawn out session of hide-and-seek?

Found jew!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2017
🚨︎ report

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