An American, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German where all attending a Zoom meeting. The Supervisor asked “can you see me ok?”
To which they answered “yes” “oui” “si” “ja”.
Welcome to the Plastic Surgery Addicts group meeting...
I see a lot of new faces here today!!
I didn’t know what to wear to my premature ejaculators meeting...
So I just came in my pants.
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
Why is the financial meeting never boring?
I cannot do one more Zoom meeting.
When I'm running late dropping my kids off at daycare, I call in to my 8am Zoom meeting from my car.
I call it, "phoning it in."
I had quite the contentious meeting with the local blacksmith
What did the broom say when he was late for the meeting ?
I went to the first meeting of my premature ejaculator’s support group this morning..
What do you call a guy whose car breaks down on his way to meeting his lover?
Day 7: What did the windmill say meeting her favourite celebrity
Jean-Pierre’s dream of meeting an Extra-Terrestrial finally came true. His first question for the alien was...
You must be from Mars, eh?
What are the chances of meeting Eminem?
He missed his next meeting unfortunately
Why are people in Moscow always so early to meetings?
Because they're Russian to them!
Everything at the AA meeting was going fine
Until Jesus went to go get a glass of water
The first annual meeting of camouflage club was a disaster.
It looks like no one showed up.
What do you call a gay business meeting?
My 1st meeting
Went to my 1st Rotary club meeting.. surprisingly has nothing to do with old phones..
This is an AA meeting.....
Are you ready for the upcoming Zoom meeting?
The meeting was at 8 and I was 10 minutes late, so I couldn't 8:10 the meeting.
I went to the local Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting last night
but all the seats were taken.
"We're here to offer support, not to grill you," they said at my review meeting.
"Like a bra, not a braai"
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Based on true events. I had to stop myself from blurting that out.
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Thanks to u/rumbustiousben for reminding me that not everyone knows what a braai is - it's a barbecue in Afrikaans and commonly used as part of English by South Africans
Everyone was excited about the Autopsy Club meeting...
My co-worker Nicholas is rarely late for work meetings, but it often shows up within 2 minutes of the meeting start time
I guess he likes to show up in the nick of time.
I had to reschedule a work meeting today to bring my son to the orthodontist. My coworker said she was thinking the same thing because she has to visit the dentist.
I told her that was quite coinciDENTAL.
Why are Narwhals good at meeting new friends?
They are great at breaking the ice
What bacteria like to have political meetings?
I was a heavy drinker until I went to AA meetings
Well, now I am still a drinker but at least I lost some weight
I showed up late to the Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting.
Needless to say, all the seats were already taken.
Why should you stay calm when meeting a hungry cannibal?
Because it's no good getting in a stew.
At our PTA meeting, my son's teacher said he's the best she's ever seen at using Elmer's...
Why does the Prime Minister keep all his meetings post noon?
Because he is a PM, not an AM
My butt fell asleep during a meeting today.
Now it’s going to be up all night.
I'm a drinker and I started to go to AA meetings
Now I have no idea who I drink with
What do you do after you take a break from your online meeting?
In the early days of Tesla, they had difficulties getting the CEO to show up on time to meetings, so they trained a puppy to find him and bark until he arrived...
...all they had to say was "get Elon little doggie".
What did the Atheist say upon dying and meeting God?
This morning I went to a meeting of my premature ejaculators’ support group
But it turns out that it’s tomorrow
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
What was the broom late to his meeting?
Why was the broom late for the meeting?
Why was the broom late for the meeting?
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