Why did Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Clyde hate going on vacation?
Because they had to pack, man.
π︎ 38
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︎ Jan 16 2021
From my 70 year old dad: I hung up a map of the US in the kitchen and gave my wife a dart. I told her we would go on a two week vacation wherever she stuck the dart.
Looks like weβll be spending two weeks behind the fridge.
π︎ 59
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︎ Dec 13 2020
I got a fungal infection on my tropical vacation.
I'm never going to the moldives again.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 20 2021
I decided to go on a vacation with my family. Almost all the hotel rooms were booked except one
It was our last resort...
π︎ 10
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Where do impotent men go on vacation?
π︎ 13
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︎ Nov 20 2020
Russia has started to vaccinate the inhabitants with their own vacation
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 05 2020
What does James Bond need to go on vacation?
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 22 2020
Where do ghosts go on vacation?
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 03 2020
I went on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation.
π︎ 31
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︎ Oct 21 2020
This is the first year I'm not taking a vacation to Hawaii due to Covid.
Normally I don't go because I can't afford it.
π︎ 73
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︎ Oct 02 2020
What do the vicugna pacos family say when they are about to go on a vacation?
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 20 2020
What is Tiger Woodβs favorite place to go on vacation?
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 13 2020
I told my suitcases we werenβt going on vacation
Now Iβm dealing with emotional baggage
π︎ 224
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
Where do hamsters go on vacation?
π︎ 19
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︎ Oct 14 2020
Where do viruses go on vacation?
π︎ 21
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︎ Sep 10 2020
Whatβs a pencils favorite vacation destination?
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 24 2020
I feel sorry for basketball players who can't go on vacation
Because they can't Travel.
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 14 2020
What kind of house do ninja turtles live in when they go on vacation from living in the sewers and fighting crime?
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 29 2020
Where do fans of Disturbed prefer to vacation?
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 01 2020
I asked my kids when they wanted to go on vacation. I asked βWould July to August be okay?β
My son replied, βWhy would I lie to August? Thatβs not nice.β
I got dad-schooled.
π︎ 42
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︎ Jul 29 2020
Why did Thanos settle on Asgard for his vacation?
He wanted to keep it low key (Loki)
π︎ 9
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︎ Aug 15 2020
This is going to be the first year that I haven't taken a vacation in Paris, because of the pandemic.
Usually it is due to lack of money
π︎ 121
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︎ May 31 2020
Two friends are having a conversation. "My wife has just gone on vacation in the Carribbean" say's one. "Jamaica?" replies the other.
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 13 2020
How do you know that trees long to vacation at the beach?
Because they always bring their trunks.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 25 2020
I was on a family vacation in Japan when I slept in one day. My dad flung open my door and told me to wake up. I said, βDad, what do you think this is?...
...the Land of the Rising Son?β
π︎ 15
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︎ Jul 20 2020
I listened to a jazz ensemble when I was at the ocean shore for vacation...
Nothing beats sax on the beach!
π︎ 24
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︎ Jun 17 2020
Where do crayons go for vacation?
Colorado.
(My 8 year old just made it up)
Edit: Thank you for the gilding, she's super happy about this all. You folks are too kind.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Feb 10 2019
Where do murderers go on vacation?
π︎ 6
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︎ May 23 2020
My wife and I can never agree on vacations
I want to go to exotic islands and stay in 5 star hotels. She wants to come with me
π︎ 25
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︎ May 13 2020
I was tricked into buying an ill-fitting shirt while on vacation in a city in France.
π︎ 23
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︎ May 04 2020
I just told my suitcase that there will be no vacation this year, it sucks!
Emotional baggage is the worst!
π︎ 19
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︎ May 09 2020
I am thinking of going Australia for a vacation
But will I get laid if I visit Adelaid?
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 07 2020
Told my suitcase we could not go on vacation this year
As I'm looking at my empty suitcase I thought it looked sad...
Then I thought "great... Now I have emotional baggage!"
π︎ 5
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︎ May 10 2020
My wife took a vacation day to carry her pet lizard around town in her handbag...
It's a purse anole day for her.
Credit: Brevity by Dan Thompson for May 02, 2020
π︎ 4
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︎ May 02 2020
Where did the swimmer pack everything for his vacation?
π︎ 6
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︎ Apr 24 2020
I just bought a cruise vacation!
Couldn't help it. It was too good of a sail.
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 10 2020
Where do beekeepers stay on vacation?
π︎ 74
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︎ Aug 26 2019
My friend Wat never gains weight on vacation
Wat goes a round, comes a round
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 14 2020
Hey boss, I've been thinking about my next vacation. Boss: Oh?
Ya. I'm thinking of taking the rest of the year off
π︎ 13
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︎ Jan 01 2020
Dad:Hey kids! We are going on vacation to East York, PA. Again This year!
Kids: aww again?
Dad: yeah, I always like taking a trip down memory lane.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 15 2020
I was told punpatrol is on vacation
π︎ 88
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︎ Feb 28 2019
Why did the Pirate take a vacation?
Because he desperately needed some ARRR and ARRRRRRRR!
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 18 2019
What'd the llama say before his vacation?
π︎ 40
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︎ Oct 04 2020
This year due to COVID19, we could not go on a vacation....
Usually its due to lack of money.
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 10 2020
I went on a once in a lifetime vacation
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 06 2020
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