Beach Vacation Puns

Because they always bring their trunks.

He was the nudest

Was on a family vacation to the beach and my sister, mom, dad and I were all in a local Ben and Jerry's getting some ice cream. Well the guy in front of us definitely had the Donald Trump hair going on and we all noticed. Out of nowhere, my dad turns around with a straight face and says,

"I'll pay for the ice cream this time, but you toupee next time."

I couldn't help but laugh and my mother had to walk out of the parlor. These comments are the reason why my father is my best friend

Last week, I took my friends to my parents house at the beach for a couple days for fun vacation times. One of my friends bought a box of cheerwine krispy kreme doughnuts, but one of the tasty morsels mysteriously disappeared in the night. The day after, we discussed the culprit options. One person said "maybe it was your dad," another said "maybe it was your mom," and I said "or maybe it was one of us.." A couple seconds of silence passed, then I had the biggest pun eureka moment in which I excitedly chortled, "Man, this is a real WHODOUGHNUT!!!"

When I was a wee lad, about 5 or 6 , my dad and I went to the beach on a vacation. I, having never seen the ocean, learned many new things, like how tides work, and how there's seemingly billions of white flying rats that the world calls Seagulls.

Fast forward a few weeks to us being back home in Kansas City, MO where no beaches or seagulls are to be found. My dad and I were running errands and found ourselves at the local Target, where in the parking lot I spotted dozens of white birds that looked eerily similar to the Seagulls I had learned about weeks before.

"Dad, what're those?" I inquired

"Oh, son those are called Parkinglotgulls. Yeah they're close cousins of the seagull!"

And that's how I came to call those white birds that flock around parking lots worldwide "Parkinglotgulls" even to this day.

Every year we go on a family beach vacation, and usually one night of the week we go out to a bar and drink. We had been at the bar for about an hour and a half, and the band was coming back from their set break...

Me: I don't know about you guys, but I'm about to go cut the rug...

Cousin: I'm gonna go cut the wood floor cuz I'm gonna dance so hard...

Dad: (looks at his watch) I'm going to cut out, I'm pretty tired.

Then he actually got up and left.

On vacation in Myrtle Beach from Michigan as we speak... as I speak... as I type, whatever. In our texting conversation my dad dropped this one on me.

Me: The fog was so thick this morning, I couldn't see the ocean.

Dad: Neither could I.

I'm on study abroad in Mexico right now, staying with a host family. Last weekend I went to the beach, and when I got home I was talking to my "dad" about it. He asked if there was a lot of people there, and I told him that no, it wasn't very busy. Then he commented that during Semana Santa (basically spring vacation) the only place to stay is "hotel camarena."

I looked at him confusedly, and he clarified.

"You know, hotel 'cama(bed) arena(sand)'."

(Meaning the only place to stay is on the beach, because the hotels are all full.)

This isn't the first dad joke I've gotten from him, hopefully I can remember more to post in the future.

So I'm talking with my fiance last night about our vacation a year ago. Me: You know the jar on the shelf in the hall. My beach in a jar. It's special it's made and not bought. Like we found all the stuff on the beach. Him: You can buy a beach in a jar but you won't have much fun with her.

Groans were had.