When I left home to go on a business trip, my wife said "Don't forget to write"

I thought, "That's unlikely... it's a basic skill, isn't it?"

πŸ‘︎ 384
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmBeeCSGO
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the camping trip so stressful?

Because it was in tents...

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plandoubt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
Well.. We made another trip around the sun.

But it's the earth's rotation that really makes my day.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jagee23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
After all my travel in 2020 was cancelled, I'm now facing the COVID reality that my Spring Break trip is not going to happen either. I just told my suitcases this sad fact...

...and now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip over and drop a basket of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the supermodels on a camping trip?

They were pretty in tents.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theclashwasright
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend David lost his ID during a trip.

Now we all call him Dav.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChekovsCurlyHair
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My lactose intolerant friend had some cheese at the beginning of our eight hour road trip today...

How dairy.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oz_caution
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Just got back from a trip to Paris...

That tower of theirs is sure an Eiffel.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayWolf85
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
People asked me what my most thrilling adventure trip was last year ... heli-skiing, skydiving, or camping...

Hands down camping. It was so in tents.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/enganere
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when Walter White has a bad trip?

Baking bad

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/excalibron
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the porter potty camping trip?

Shit was intense.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jrgonz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Homer say when he didn't bag a female deer on the hunting trip?

"Doe!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Recent Trip to the Grocery Store

I was just in a checkout line at the grocery store and the man behind me was going on and on in broken English about being from some Neo-Mediterranean superpower. He got my attention, pointed to a newspaper above the belt, and asked what it was. I replied β€œIt’s the Times, New Roman.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FapAlbert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Be careful when you book your family camping trips; my wife was menstruating last time, and she couldn't enjoy herself at all...

... It certainly was an in tents period.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Just got back from a pleasure trip.

I took my mother-in-law to the airport

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My mountain-climbing trips are very well planned

I’m always on top of things

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the antisocial person say before going on a trip?

Don't worry, I won't belong.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeGelato
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that train trip that John Lennon took?

A: Did you hear about that train trip that John Lennon took?

B: No, what was the trip for?

A: To see his wife. It was a Yoko motive.

(original)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmkay_then
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I am driving through England on a road trip, and I’m supposed to be in Greenwich tomorrow.

Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. ..

After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I just returned home from a trip to eastern Asia.

Now I'm disoriented.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpep0469
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy runs into a bar and goes on a trip to the hospital.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Angle_Of_Flames
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the competitive camping trip?

It was in tents

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yubscriber420-69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the wolf say when he wanted to leave for a trip?

Let's GOOOOOoooooooooowwwww

(my 7yo daughter made this up and had me breathin hard through my noise for a split second)

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A couple of weeks ago my dad was taking us on a camping trip preceeded by a two hour drive, so a minute before we were going to leave the house he sat me and my brother down and told us:

Speak now or forever hold your pee

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...

That was just one of the downfalls!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I was driving to a weekend hunting trip when I came to a fork in the road. Sign said bear left...

So I went home.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sulpfiction
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened to the baked beans that took a trip around Australia?

They ended up in Cairns

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SentinalBravo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Best thing to see on a long trip. Lol 😊
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaylabragolove21
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My hippy son asked for money for a field trip to the symphony hall

But it seemed like a Phishing attempt to me

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My yacht passenger was rude to me when he gruffly asked "how will we embark upon our trip?"

So I told him to shove off.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mediocre trip to Oklahoma?

An OK trip.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BioSlothInfinite
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does it feel so good to screw on a camping trip?

Cuz It's fucking intents

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rare_Breed721
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the man say when his trip got cancelled to Africa?

Uganda be kinding me

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i30cluy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Went on a trip a few years ago and the airline asked me if I had any baggage.

Apparently my response of 'only emotional' didn't FLY well!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wallaba4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the 2x4 say on a road trip?

β€œI’m board, are we stairs yet?”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NikoBuffalogna
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my dad how he managed to stop a bad trip.

He said "Tums"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prendrefeu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Just returned from my extreme camping trip.

It was in tents!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mndaver24
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the fisherman catch more on his second trip?

Because of his mussel memory

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/__Almazan__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip over and drop the basket of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 144
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Recent Trip to the Grocery Store

I was just in a checkout line at the grocery store and the man behind me was going on and on in broken English about being from some Neo-Mediterranean superpower. He got my attention, pointed to a newspaper above the belt, and asked what it was. I replied β€œIt’s the Times, New Roman.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FapAlbert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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