I am driving through England on a road trip, and I’m supposed to be in Greenwich tomorrow.

Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that train trip that John Lennon took?

A: Did you hear about that train trip that John Lennon took?

B: No, what was the trip for?

A: To see his wife. It was a Yoko motive.

(original)

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mmkay_then
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16
🚨︎ report
A guy runs into a bar and goes on a trip to the hospital.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Angle_Of_Flames
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25
🚨︎ report
A couple of weeks ago my dad was taking us on a camping trip preceeded by a two hour drive, so a minute before we were going to leave the house he sat me and my brother down and told us:

Speak now or forever hold your pee

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31
🚨︎ report
What happened to the baked beans that took a trip around Australia?

They ended up in Cairns

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SentinalBravo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04
🚨︎ report
I was driving to a weekend hunting trip when I came to a fork in the road. Sign said bear left...

So I went home.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sulpfiction
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28
🚨︎ report
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...

That was just one of the downfalls!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
What did the wolf say when he wanted to leave for a trip?

Let's GOOOOOoooooooooowwwww

(my 7yo daughter made this up and had me breathin hard through my noise for a split second)

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
My yacht passenger was rude to me when he gruffly asked "how will we embark upon our trip?"

So I told him to shove off.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 115
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
My hippy son asked for money for a field trip to the symphony hall

But it seemed like a Phishing attempt to me

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mediocre trip to Oklahoma?

An OK trip.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BioSlothInfinite
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11
🚨︎ report
Best thing to see on a long trip. Lol 😊
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kaylabragolove21
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
Went on a trip a few years ago and the airline asked me if I had any baggage.

Apparently my response of 'only emotional' didn't FLY well!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wallaba4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
What did the 2x4 say on a road trip?

β€œI’m board, are we stairs yet?”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NikoBuffalogna
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
I asked my dad how he managed to stop a bad trip.

He said "Tums"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prendrefeu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07
🚨︎ report
Why did the fisherman catch more on his second trip?

Because of his mussel memory

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/__Almazan__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12
🚨︎ report
Why does it feel so good to screw on a camping trip?

Cuz It's fucking intents

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rare_Breed721
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
What did the man say when his trip got cancelled to Africa?

Uganda be kinding me

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i30cluy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
Just got back from a camping trip with the family

The days were incredible, but the nights were in tents

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thesabermaniac
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.

It was touch and go from there on.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
My family and I had a crazy camping trip...

It was in tents.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bradthemadcat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14
🚨︎ report
Just returned from my extreme camping trip.

It was in tents!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mndaver24
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
Recently I took my family on a road trip, and we got a flat tire. When my daughter got out of the car to help, she almost got hit by a car.

Good thing she wasn't, that trip would've been short-lived.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SPONGEROBERT123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
During a recent camping trip, my son rigged his drone to paddle his canoe for him. He called it the "DronePaddle3000".

I just call it a Rowbot.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
We were all excited about our mountaineering trip, but then our friend Max chickened out.

He has always been an anti climb Max.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
My wife left me on a Family Field trip

I should've made my wife turn right.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chair_Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
I just watched my wife trip and drop the pile of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
A blind dude took a trip to Germany,

Call that shit not-see Germany

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FractureRyan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
I fell in love with the tick that bit me when I was on a trip to Rome

It was a Romantic gesture

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nitefury07
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
Terrifying Train Trip
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RKRagan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
Road trip.

I was talking with a friend. He said he wanted to surprise his wife with a trip up north, to the land of the midnight sun. I said "Alaska?" he said "NO! DONT! I said I want it to be a surprise!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
A gust of wind blew my wife’s skirt up during our trip to France

That certainly wasn’t the Eiffel I was expecting

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wxlson
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
On our imaginary trip to Maui, my boy and I both stubbed our toes at the same. We were the chosen ones because we were gifted...

The Hurt of two feetie.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simmsnation
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
Two friends are on a road trip and one if them sees a sign stating they are approaching Louisville. One says "we should stop in 'Louie-ville' for lunch. The other says it's not pronounced 'Louie-ville', it's 'Louis-ville'!

They go back and forth for a while, neither convincing the other that they are right. Finally they decide on a place to eat. When they get to the restaurant, one of the friends asks the person taking their order to settle it once and for all. "Me and my friend are having a debate and hopefully since you live here, you can set my friend straight. Would you please tell us... and say it clear and slow for my friend here... where are we?"

The person behind the counter gets a puzzled look on his face, then says

>!"Buuuuuurrrrrr gerrrrrr Kiiiiiiinnnnggg"!<

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FaultyData
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
My wife and I are planning a trip to San Francisco to finally fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing The Golden Gate in person.

She asked me, β€œWhat are you going to do when you see it?”

I said, β€œLet’s cross that bridge when we get there.”

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you trip a circuit breaker?

You stick your foot out

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Urethra_insert1on
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
Why were the couple of friends not having fun on their camping trip?

They were two in tents.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Equivalent_Squash
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
What happens if you trip on the rug and spill...

...carpet cleaner?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
Why is Dad in such a hurry to buy the glue right before the road trip?

Because it's important that everyone sticks to the plan.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rawSingularity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
We were on a road trip and stopped to fill up

Everyone got out to pee and get snacks. I stretched getting out of the car and I farted. My 16yo daughter said, "Dad, that's gross."

I said, "Why? After all we are at the GAS station."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hoetted
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
I’m on a trip for work and my girlfriend sent me this last night.
πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nathantheman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why am I excited for my wedding anniversary trip?

It's going to be a trip of a wifetime...

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I once went on a trip to the North Pole.

It all went south from there.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I moved far away from my parents, but every year around this time I make the trip back because my mom makes this delicious sauce for dinner...

You could say I'm home for the hollandaise.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Matto_McFly_81
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Went on a trip in Paris

Yeah, Eiffel.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aloecera
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Our daughter asked my wife if she had brought her calming Gummies be on our trip.

I replied "Yup. They're right above her teethies!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fingadod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
During my trip to Madrid I was staying at this small motel when I grew pretty ill. Thankfully the people at the front desk sent the on call doctor over and he was able to fix me up real quick. I told him I didn't expect such a small place to have such a good doctor, to which he told me

Nobody expects the Spanish Inn Physician

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RKO-Cutter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What does the mathematician use to carry his belongings on weekend trips?

His asymptote.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redditaccount314
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife emailed me the pictures of our first trip together, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I’ve always had trouble with emotional attachments.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend had a small horse that he tried taking trail riding. It died the first trip, unfortunately.

It was a one-trek pony.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Did I ever tell you about the shady vendor who sold me an overpriced, moldy donut on my trip to see the Pyramids?

Egypt me, but I was starving so I ate it anyway. Now I falafel.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/obvious_santa
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Would it count as a fall trip

If I tripped off of a cliff during fall?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_samdwich_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife looks at the atlass during road trips so we don't get lost

When I'm in the passenger's seat, I use the guy version. The atlad

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cole_Sate
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a fake wild cat that trips a bunch?

A False-lot.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoupSter89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My camping trip to the beautiful country of Iceland was ruined by a pack of wild dogs

They just wouldn’t stop BjΓΆrking

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mono-klu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
After dad came back from his hunting trip we were eager to know what kind of meat was on our plates, so we asked him for a clue. Well, he said, "It's what mummy calls me sometimes."

That's when my little sister screamed to me, "Don't eat it, it's an asshole."

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
"Dad, did you already pack my toothbrush for the camping trip?"

"Why do you need it? There's should be plenty of toilet-trees there"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmatteh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My mother-in-law always wanted to visit the Valley of a Thousand Hills, so I've booked her trip -

a week on each hill.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A comic I drew of myself and my student before we go on a field trip to the bowling alley
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dungaroojones
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I went on a traumatic fishing trip when I was a kid.

I'm still reeling from it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Strawbalicious
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my wife to pack my stuff in a suitcase for business trip. But she packed in my backpack instead

She said it's the same and easier. Well yes but that's not the case

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sabyte
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the father teeth say to his son before the trip?

BUCCAL UP SON!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evamPUNdit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I liked my trip to Sweden overall,

But all the cakes there were kaka.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/analytik
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
On my recent trip to Florida, I noticed there were signs everywhere that said, β€œbeware of crocs”

I wonder why they are so afraid of shoes down there.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My reaction when I take a trip to the Hoover Dam and the temperature breaks 100Β°
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Swanberet
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Nice weather for a day trip

My wife mentioned that it looked nice enough out for a day trip. Naturally, I went to the other room, got my bass, and came back and started playing the main line from Day Tripper.

I don’t think I’m invited on the day trip anymore, but I still think it was a sound choice to bass my pun on her plans for the day.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bartmannjugband
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Stopped by to get gas after my trip to Germany, and when the pump asked if I wanted a receipt

The nine button wasn’t working.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BALLOONCHEF1997
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I had diarrhea on my last camping trip.

That shit was intense.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife and I went on a trip to Cuba to stay at a few different places. By the end of week 2, we were walking barefoot across a beach, nearly dying of thirst and exhausted. We were wondering if we'd make it home, until I spotted a server holding some drinks. We sprinted towards her and drank both.

It was out last resort.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you trip people in France?
πŸ‘︎ 813
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/renduh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2017
🚨︎ report
Why do cars hate long trips?

Cause the wheels get tired

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oNe_SpICeY_bOi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I finally turned myself in on our last camping trip...

I called the cops and confessed I had criminal intent.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/allwxllendswxll
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife emailed me the pictures of our first trip together, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I think I have serious emotional attachment issues.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you ever had sex on a camping trip?

It’s fucking intents

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't aliens make a trip here?

Because they don't want to Plan-et (Plan earth)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jetty_Boy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t like taking round trip flights.

They’re two Boeing.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/snowdonut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
On a recent boat trip, we got to pet a whale!

It was a happy occasion but I was feeling Blue.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife emailed me the pictures of our first trip together, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I might have severe emotional attachment issues.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My son wanted to go for a costly trip

So I reminded him about all things he could have achieved in life if he hadn't left college.

A guilt trip is still a trip right?

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nastynash2k
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
He got food poisoning on the first day of his Germany trip...

...he was having the wurst week.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/halfburntcookie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Two doctors are out hiking and the first one trips and cuts his knee pretty badly on a rock. The second doctor says, "That looks pretty bad. Want me to stitch that up for you?" The first doctor says, "Nah, I got it."

The second doctor responds, "Suture self."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bruce_lees_ghost
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Did I tell you about my camping trip?

It was in tents

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hiftikha
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Two Saudi Arabians wanted to go on a trip. The guy asks his friend "Want to go South?" He replied "Yemen."
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AnotherNihm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Buddy of mine was asked to go on an unwanted business trip to inspect conduit.

My suggestion? Tell em’ you just conduit.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alyfish126
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife and I are going on a trip to San Francisco to fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing the Golden Gate in person.

She said, β€œ What are you going to do when you finally see it?”

I said, β€œLet’s cross that bridge when we get there.”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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